Okay new on the sub

jimmi-jones · 2019-10-16T10:44:09+00:00

Welcome.

It is amazing what double standards can be realised as a result of relative protracted peace.

All major war efforts have been coupled with the conscription of young men who then give their lives like they have less worth than a five cent piece. This fact has translated to disposability of males from cradle to grave in most societies even in peace times.

Men-Are-Human · 2019-10-16T10:44:53+00:00

Yeah, it can be a bit of a shock when you realise how much stuff there is. We have a list of serious issues that is several pages long, and that's just the ones that can ruin your life or kill you. Like the other guy said, men have some pretty big problems. Women too, but men's issues really don't get the same kind of traction or sympathy. It's part of what we call the Empathy Gap.

DeathbyFriedChicken · 2019-10-16T10:38:31+00:00

it's like men and women have problems

Ody_ssey · 2019-10-16T12:46:57+00:00

These issues against men are underreported and are not addressed by the fourth wave feminists media so it never reaches to the good population. Society doesn't believe it either.

gnulligan · 2019-10-16T15:01:17+00:00

Thank you for coming here with an open mind.

When you become a mom, please don't circumcise your son. It's an anti-masturbation surgery.

Mythrobo · 2019-10-16T14:31:37+00:00

We dont ban those who seek equality and logic. Feel free to stay!

RacelessSexlessName · 2019-10-16T14:37:04+00:00

Oh the irony... I tagged you as a feminist 5 months ago for this post, which comically is about anti-feminists hating on feminism. Welcome to WHY we do that.

EvilLothar · 2019-10-16T14:12:58+00:00

Welcome to the real world. Now the hard questions start.

Knowing now what you know, can you still call yourself a feminist?

Do you support what other feminists are saying/ doing about/ to men?

How will you put your new found knowledge to use?

I don't mean to poke at a fresh wound, but its really up to younger women to step up and start standing up to the radical feminists and support the men around them, just like the men decades ago stood up in support of women's rights.

We don't want special treatment. We actually just want real equality.

excess_inquisitivity · 2019-10-16T14:53:58+00:00

Watch "the red pill" on netflix.

TigPlaze · 2019-10-16T15:16:04+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to read and research. Not many people do. What's frustrating is that men have so many difficult issues and suffer so much, but if you want to talk about it or address it in any way, you'll get branded a misogynist. I can give you a heads up that if you bring up these topics in other places, you can expect someone to brand you as having internal misogyny. That's obviously not the case, of course. You seem very thoughtful and fair.

Keenin455 · 2019-10-16T15:28:01+00:00

I suggest watching The Red Pill, a documentary that outlines some of the issues Men face highlighted by key figures in the Men's Rights Movement. It's also about one woman's journey from devote feminist to egalitarian.

Tmomp · 2019-10-16T16:13:19+00:00

An hour here?

You've barely scratched the surface.

I came here around the time of the Hofstra case (worth looking up) and I'm still shocked by new things.

DeathRectangle · 2019-10-16T16:46:58+00:00

Welcome here, and thanks for caring about men's issues.

Unfortunately, feminism has a habit of erasing men's issues out of any conversation.

Earlier this year, there was a big march/protest organized by various feminist groups in my country. Lots of women supported it and many attended. I read the manifestos of a few of the feminist groups, in which they explained what they wanted. They mentioned many of issues faced by women in society, but they never mentioned that men also faced these issues. Reading this, you would have thought only women faced these issues.

On top of that, all the manifestos I read spoke of the issues faced by women, immigrants, the elderly, people with disabilities, and children. They pretty much gave a voice to every demographic except men. Why??

Is it because men are the enemies, the cause of everyone else's problems? Did I personally harm women somehow, and now I don't deserve to have my issues acknowledged by society so that hopefully they can be resolved? Or is it because men's problems are somehow less important and less urgent than everyone else's?

This year as well, a feminist student group put up posters around my university's cafeteria. All of them had an accusatory tone and said things such as "Just because we laugh along at your sexist jokes doesn't mean they're funny" or "If you can't stop staring at your female colleague, we can help you by moving you away". A few posters didn't mention any genders and could be considered neutral, but that's only because the phrasing didn't really allow the mention of any gender. Also, none of the gendered posters described men as the victims and women as the perpetrators.

Those posters were all around the cafeteria and you were surrounded by them when eating there. I sat there for 10 minutes while waiting for an appointment, and it made me deeply uncomfortable because of how accusatory and obviously sexist they were.

But the ironic thing is that I had been a victim of many of the same acts of discrimination that these posters were condemning. During the internship I was doing at the time, my employer was stricter with me than with the female interns (note: we all started at the same time, worked in the same department, and had the same work responsibilities). He'd spend more time talking to them, supporting them and getting to know them than he did with me. He was often out of the office, and that happened far more often on the days when I worked. He'd also reprimand me for minor mistakes, and even mistakes I wasn't actually responsible for, while forgiving the female interns for the same mistakes and worse mistakes. One of the female interns regularly complained to our employer about my performance, and he believed her without even asking for my side of it; in fact, he didn't even tell me anyone had complained to him (that intern was completely wrong by the way - she had no idea what work I was doing and just made assumptions that I was either not doing the work or doing things wrong).

One of the female interns also made a sexual joke to me, and another one shared some details of her sex life with me. I wasn't offended, but I felt it wasn't really appropriate in a work setting. Another intern sexually harassed me on multiple occasions, and not only did it make me uncomfortable, but I was worried that she could spin it to make it look like I was the one harassing her.

So I'm sitting there, surrounded by these posters that were put up by a feminist group, and which are accusing me of doing to women the very same things some women have done to me on multiple occasions.

There's one last incident that occurred to me this year: some of my friends (men and women) regularly post feminist articles and images on Facebook, complaining about how women are so frequently assaulted. Now don't get me wrong, sexual assault is awful and I despise it no matter who it happens to. And it should be talked about. But the articles and images that my friends post only talk about the female victims and never mention that it happens to men too.

Well, a few months ago, I was at a party with some of these friends, when a woman I had never met or spoken to before suddenly came up to me and groped me. My friends didn't think it was sexual assault: they laughed. After seeing and sharing so many articles and images against the sexual assault of women, it didn't occur to them for one moment that it's also wrong when it happens to a man, and that a man may not enjoy it. I wasn't traumatized, but I definitely felt violated.

All that to say, feminism has a bad habit of erasing men's issues out of the conversation. I've experienced it first hand. I'm willing to bet that you'll notice it too, if you haven't already.

Fang_Jolima · 2019-10-16T18:42:41+00:00

My current SO pointed out the cognitive dissonance to me when we got together almost 4 years ago. I really had to do some soul searching, and re-thinking my stances on feminism. I am today continually shocked and saddened by what men have to face in today's society. It's not equality AT ALL. We ALL have to work together to make changes.

TheGemScout · 2019-10-16T22:06:49+00:00

That's the thing. There's genuine issues on both sides and there's so much argument that nothing ever gets better and Noone ever compromises.

If only people could see the big picture

2019-10-16T23:00:22+00:00

Watch the Red Pill documentary! I always identified very strongly as feminist until I saw that doc. It actually be like that. A lot of us really don't know that men have issues too. We never hear about them! And I spent ten years in academia. All I heard was white males have all the privilege, but as a white cis lady, I'm on pretty thin ice too.

I really did take the whole male privilege idea for granted for so long. I believed it. I didn't hate men, but I did believe they were unilaterally privileged over me in ever aspect of life.

Then I started learning about male disposability, male suicide, divorce/custody gender disparities, and the fact that the way the 'wage gap' is recorded distorts the facts.

AskingToFeminists · 2019-10-16T19:44:31+00:00

Welcome here. There is plenty to be learned. Depending on the style of content you like, my advice would either be to watch "the red pill" documentary by Cassie Jaye, or to look up Karen Straughan on YouTube, sort her videos by 20+mn long and oldest, and start watching from there.

Blutarg · 2019-10-16T20:44:05+00:00

Welcome aboard!

Title	Okay new on the sub
Author	skinny_gyal
Upvotes	63
Comments	42
Date	October 16, 2019 10:35 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/dinfdp/okay_new_on_the_sub/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/okay-new-on-the-sub.866898 https://theredarchive.com/post/866898

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