Because there's definitely nothing wrong with this

JoeSwingJoe · 2018-03-21T14:50:52+00:00

These jokers ain't woke yet.22,125 points•456 comments•submitted 3 years...

[–]iSuKCoK_reddit 79 points80 points81 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[+]DAE_lyk_karma1 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

Maybe his is an outlier case? I think for most boys it would be a perfectly fulfilling experience. Still not saying it's okay, and I do think it should remain illegal, but I think his case is a very extreme one.

[–]A_confusedlover 10 points11 points12 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[+]DAE_lyk_karma1 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

I dunno, I was touched as a kid, and I forgot about it for like 8 years, then laughed about it when I remembered

[–]ThirdTurnip 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[+]DAE_lyk_karma1 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

It is 100% true, and it was the same for one of my best friends. We both shared a laugh about our experiences. For both of us it was older non-relative men. I'm just saying that this guy probably isn't representative of men at large. At least I bloody hope he isn't.

[–]ThirdTurnip 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DAE_lyk_karma1 point 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Oh, I didn't find my experience fulfilling at all. If anything I'd have said it was mildly uncomfortable, but only in so far as I would find an awkward conversation mildly uncomfortable. To be sure that's due to the lack of severity of my own experience. Were it a woman and not a dude I'm sure it would have been at minimum a neutral experience. Depends upon the age of course. I think it's a pretty fair bet that from the age of maybe 13 at the latest, most males would find it an enjoyable experience. Again, not endorsing it (I'd never advocate that unless a reliable and non-invasive means of studying the outcomes could be formulated).

Still an advocate of men's rights, and I consider it very important (not only as a much need bulwark against the obvious misandry of feminism, but because men do have overwhelming issues that remain unaddressed), but this isn't a narrative I'm 100% on board with. I have too much respect for evolutionary psychology, my own observations, and biological imperatives to ignore the differences between men and women when it comes to "underage sex".

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[+]pierresderriere1 points 8 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

remember that the law doesnt discriminate .. its society that does..

We're literally talking about how the law is not applied equally to men and women.

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[–]pierresderriere16 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]shadowguyver 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

If you really want to go that route which is not the topic here, female pedophiles often get less sentencing when and if convicted. Often times they don't have to register as a sex offender, nor do they have a lengthy sentence compared to that of a male offender.

If you would pay attention to the topic though you would see that we are talking about the double standards society has when it comes to what constitutes criminal behaviour of rape and sexual misconduct based on the gender of the offender and of the victim.

The meme shows how people are accepting and justifying a female pedophile, yet if it was a male who had sex with a female student there would be no meme calling for the victims to be quiet. Instead it would be stating more than likely how he needs his dick cut off and how all men are potential rapists.

[–]deville05 -2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You are right about the the law having double standards. I told you why that is ..Because males and females are different. Often with a girl and an older male there is an inherent perception of physical force and overpowering. Hence teh double standard. Im not saying it's right or wrong .. just why there are these things.

Yes you are talking about the law having double standards on conviction which is something I understand but at the end of the day we are talking about people's comments on a meme.. which is again made by people. And people will always be divided on thay and I think it's fine. I would have loved to be having sex with a hot teacher at 16-17.. send her to jail for her crimes, I don't care. My liking it and her going to jail are two different things. Her act of breaking the law and me feeling like a victim having nothing to do with each other

[–]shadowguyver 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

But that's part of the problem you see, we as males are told we are all for sex as teenagers that we are ready and willing if presented with the possibility. We are conditioned by society not to see ourselves as victims the way we would girls. When people justify it like they do with this meme they are shaping and reaffirming that boys are not victims, but willing participants which make it hard to hold women equally responsible in the eyes of the law.

Would I have loved the attention of a older woman, yes. However I had two things that influenced me into this thinking based on societal norms. I was raped as a 9yo by my babysitters son which made me want to prove for years that I was not gay because in society that was bad, I would have loved sexual attention form a woman of any age. Second is that as I was growing up I kept being told that sex was the best thing, it was always hyped up especially being male I was told it would be wrong if I didn't want it from females.

Bottom line is if we treated boys and girls the same in regards to how we handle attitudes towards sex there would be no double standard when we look at who in society can be considered a victim.

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Well I'm in my 30s and im still not sure what sex means. It meant something else when I was 15 and something else when I was 25. Sex means nothing I think. But because who you are keeps changing, everything you do keeps changing meaning as well.

How do you define power? I don't think there is any physical powered dynamic in a situation with a 16 yr old male student and female teacher. Well it depends on the size difference really. How about mental or emotional power? That's very hard to define as a blanket statement. Does it depend on some arbitrary designation or does it Depend on the individual's mental strength and resolve. My hot teachers couldn't have had that power over me unless I was playing along. But I can see how somebody else might have sure. At the same time when I was in my 20s, my girlfriend had a lot of power over me. Should she have been in jail?.. I think so.. but that's life.

And honestly if a teacher has sex with a student, I think they give away their power. The fact that the possibility of going to jail is always gonna loom over their head is a testament to them being powerless. If my teacher had sex with me, I could have gotten all A's. I would threaten her with snitching all the time. But it really depends on the individual's emotional state

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[–]ThirdTurnip 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Wow - that sounds eerily similar to my experience. I was the same age and my mother is similarly disturbed.

Her father died when she was relatively young and my father was frequently away. He would be away at sea half the year. And by the time she started groping me they had been divorced and she single for several years.

She first hit on me when I was in my early teens. We were alone in the pool sitting on the shallow end steps and she told me of the two of us (my sister and I), I was the attractive one. I found that super creepy and got out of the pool as quickly as I could.

Then I made myself unattractive. Put on weight. Stopped washing my hair and teeth. That seemed to work. She left me alone for a long time after that. People noticed the change in my appearance. My father wanted to put me in therapy and my mother, who surely knew the true cause, told him that I was just going through a phase and to leave me alone. And our dentist noticed my teeth beginning to yellow. Though my mother never allowed me to be alone with any health professional so I couldn't answer him honestly when he asked about this. The best theory he could come up with, which he said he didn't find very convincing, was that I was eating too much cheese.

But when I got older I decided to get myself back in shape. Unfortunately she started up again, though this time with groping.

When there was no-one else around she would grab my arse. I'd move away, but she kept doing it. After a few weeks of this I was looking out the window one day and she came up behind me and pressed herself up against me in a way that still makes my skin crawl. And of course grabbed my arse.

I'd had more than enough and told her she had to stop. She laughed and told me there was no harm in what she was doing. It didn't mean anything. I insisted that it was my body and I didn't like it and she had to stop. She told me that she'd made my body so she could whatever she wanted with it. I kept saying no. Eventually she reluctantly agreed to stop.

But a few days later I was washing the dishes and she came up behind me and there was my arse was being grabbed again. I was furious. She backed off and said she was sorry but this had gone on for way too long and way too far.

A few days later I told I her was moving out and was gone in about a week. Was extremely poor timing - me having just started a PhD and without a scholarship - but I had to leave.

Unfortunately it forced me into working somewhere where I ended up being sexually harassed.

[–]PeonSupreme 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ThirdTurnip 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

generations of affectionless parenting

We might differ there.

My grandmother (mother's mother) was wonderful. Any time I got to spend with her as a kid was a blessed respite. When I was young I asked her if I could live with her, but she couldn't swing that. Not that I could understand at that age but my parents had more money and she wouldn't have been able to afford the cost of fighting them for custody. And my grandfather was by all accounts a genuinely kind and good man. How they produced my mother is a mystery.

But the rest of my immediate family was also not fantastic. I copped extreme physical abuse from my father. I was one time beaten bloody, and another into unconsciousness. My sister didn't expose herself (eeew) but as an adult, deliberately infected with me chicken pox. Cornered me in the kitchen and rubbed herself against me. And she tried attacking me physically one time but our dog bit her on the arse and she just about died of embarrassment, cos she considered the dog to be hers and spoiled it shamelessly.

I’ve been sexually harassed outside the family as well, by men and women, at work and elsewhere.

That sucks. Weirdly I've had few problems with men.

The worst I've had from men is one revolting guy hitting on me at a train station and a sleazy older friend of a housemate grabbing my arse in the kitchen. Maybe it looks good under kitchen lighting.

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You're confusing fantasies with reality per say. The hot teacher everyone wants to fuck is common, I'll give you that but it's verrrry different when the teacher actually has sex with a student. A teenager having sex with an adult means the experience is very lopsided and the student could very well not have the greatest grasp of sex and be very easily pressured into doing something they THINK they should like when they really may not.

I'd also like to say that 'I would very much enjoy being molested by her' is.. a concerning statement to make.

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[–]antilopes 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

Sixteen is I think the commonest age limit in the western world, the US is an anomaly.

Epidemiologists study this sort of thing. They ask e.g. 10,000 people about their health. One result I saw was something like that victims are four times more likely to use drugs, and 20 times more likely to use hard drugs. I don't recall whether that was victims of sexual abuse in childhood or later on.

There are also large prospective studies in many countries, several thousand people are randomly selected at one time and followed for their whole lives from some age, Sometimes from birth. Others start later e.g. the US Nurses study of 50,000 female nurses has been running for several decades.

We can also correlate hard data like
"referred to CPS for age-inappropriate sexual activity" with other hard data like
"cause of death classified as suicide by coroner".

Everybody loves to talk about empowered women freely choosing to use their sexuality to earn a living but people who have lived in the sex industry for a while can tell you that sexual abuse during childhood is quite common among the workers. I suspect it is different now but in earlier decades it was almost a required qualification. The ability to dissociate that abuse victims develop made it easier for them to do the work.

BTW the expectation by family members, friends etc that the victim will "move on" after what they family etc deem, in their deliberate ignorance of the subject, to be a "reasonable" amount of time, is a common reason given by victims for why they end up avoiding their family.

[–]everythingiswrong911 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I can appreciate your argument, but for me personally, I just don't have a very high threshold for people that center their personalities around victimization. I understand that being molested can be traumatic, but if we are being honest I can think of several things that happen in life that would cause me more stress than being touched inappropriately. for example: losing your house/job/wife/ watching your spouse die, suffering a heart attack/stroke, getting in a car/bike wreck and being paralyzed or losing a limb.

That being said I also understand there are huge differences in situations. If, for example, you were raped by your dad every day for years then ok... ill give you a pass. but if your 5th-grade teacher touched your breast 2 or 3 times... then I have little to no sympathy. get him fired and move on. simple as that.

I had an old girlfriend that made a big deal to me about one of her camp counselors having sex with her. it was consensual. he was in his early twenties and she was around 14 or so. she confessed to me one day that it was the reason she didn't graduate from college. i thought it had more to do with getting drunk every night and never going to class, but hey... when you are a victim.

[–]antilopes 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I just don't have a very high threshold for people that center their personalities around victimization.

I know what you mean, it can be unhealthy to make a lifestyle of it. But it is not necessarily a choice.

I get to talk to a lot of people who are on the severe end of chronic symptoms from various kinds of abuse and I can tell you that friends and family commonly are ridiculously overconfident about their ability to understand the victim's world. The tragic thing is there is so much information available, all it would take is a few evenings of reading to get some insight. But they spend two minutes reading the pamphlet the GP gave them on "Understanding Depression" or whatever, and think they have a clue. Unknown unknowns.

Let me rearrange these phrases:

camp counselor having sex with her. it was consensual. he was in his early twenties and she was around 14
getting drunk every night and never going to class
it was the reason she didn't graduate from college.

Didn't I just tell you about victims of sexual abuse being 4x more likely to use drugs? Much of it is unwise and counterproductive and many of them know that, exactly like people who haven't been abused. So why do abused people do it so much more?
A lot of it is self-medicating. A small proportion of people with drug-resistant depression and anxiety find that weed helps, but many more are kidding themselves.

I don't have any figures but absenteeism from work and school is greatly increased too, separately to hangovers. As is social anxiety, general anxiety, panic attacks, depression, dissociation, depersonalisation / derealisation. That is without PTSD which I guess your ex would not have, though even that is not guaranteed.
OK, let's imagine your ex is just a lazy drunkard and exaggerated the impact or even made up the whole story. What does that tell us about the possible effect of sexual assault, that she picked it as a cover story?

Consider tonsil removal. Nervousness, removal of part of your body, spending a night or so separated from parents for the first time in your life at a big hospital at a young age. Fear, pain, discomfort, mutilation, anaesthsia, ice-cream. Enough ingredients for a significant life experience. Yet people don't fail university because of tonsil trauma. Or from breaking their leg while skiing, or losing all the skin off their ass by sliding out on their motorcycle. (Not usually, but vehicle accidents are a common cause of PTSD).

Depression, anxiety and severe addictions are the most common things that turn A students into B, C or D students, and where you can get those from with the greatest reliability is abuse, particulary in childhood or early adulthood.

.
You don't know how you would react. Some common problems in that situation are:
You have opened up to your counsellor about things you would never talk to anybody else about. In some important ways they know you better than anyone in the world, and you trust them totally. This is your first love, and if you lose it you can't imagine how it could ever be replaced. They are your guide, revealing things about your body and mind you never had a clue about even if you had read about them. You can't imagine being separated.

Maybe years later, you come to understand what was done to you. You were manipulated by someone who knew from the start that this relationship had no future and who intended to end it as soon as they lost physical access to your body. They knew it meant everything to you but for them it was just a sexual connection they made with a different person every summer. You notice that other people are able to fall in love and trust their partner. You can not imagine trusting anyone ever again.

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Title	Because there's definitely nothing wrong with this
Author	JoeSwingJoe
Upvotes	457
Comments	125
Date	March 21, 2018 2:50 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/862o2p/because_theres_definitely_nothing_wrong_with_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/because-theres-definitely-nothing-wrong-with-this.903998 https://theredarchive.com/post/903998

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