[Discussion] Your experience with catcalling?

FrogTrainer · 2017-09-12T22:48:47+00:00

Ran track and field in college. Was also no stranger to the weight room so I was fairly ripped. Ran through campus a thousand times. If it was early fall or late spring... no shirt. Couldn't count how many times girls whistled or howled from cars or dorm room windows at me. Occasionally I'd do an easy run with my friend from the wrestling team who was twice as ripped as me... he would get them even more.

oshout · 2017-09-12T23:00:46+00:00

I've been catcalled, followed and harassed a few times, by women who hit on or flirt with me but to whom I dont return that energy. I've had one or two guys do similar, one of them turned out to be a serial rapist.

I've had people I've rejected not get it, or make a fool of themselves if we saw each other in public. One women would scream, "I want to have your babies!" Among other weird things. I've also been followed around the internet for people vying for my attention, "I messaged you on OkCupid and Tindr without response , so I googled / Facebook searched you"

I've had women reach into my pocket and grab my junk without my consent or even, hopefully, signalling any interest whatsoever. (Happened twice, years apart).

Most frequently (relative to the above) I have strangers run their fingers through my hair uninitiated. This happens at public events where there's alcohol.

Some other smatterings of similar weirdness.

My least favorite is dating and manipulation, people who will do or say anything to get laid. This one is the most depressing, coz it's hard to find people I really like, and it's like a repeated negative conditioning to see people's transparent and inauthentic motives.

Not that I'm especially good looking, I think it has more to do with that people think they can get away with it, experience pity+desire, or a taboo toward me. I'm tall and skinny. Red hair and green, observant, eyes which (I believe) convey intelligence. I don't put much energy into romance, but I have passion about a lot of other things. Based on my observation of dogs , I think those qualities disarm and excite people.

I'm not too torn up about it, the physical stuff hasnt happened in a while, but I also don't often put myself in those scenarios. The one which puts a chip on my shoulder is dating, but I'm aware of my bias and conflicting drives there, so hopefully I can still succeed.

A lot of this happened before I was introduced to /r/mensrights . I wonder what would happen if it happened again, I'd probably (hopefully) call it out then.

Relatedly: I've seen a man cat calling women at a popular local park. about 1 in 5 women stopped to chat or did something to encourage it (responded positively). Later, after getting flak for regailing the story on social media, I found an article in which a person was attacked/killed for calling out a cat caller in defense of another. This lead to reflection and the notion, "if it doesn't involve me, who am I to tell someone how they can or can't speak? At what point does it become telling someone that their lifestyle is wrong, or aimed at lower class people, and how wrong is it, especially if it's 'catching' 1 in 5 people? "

JoeBender1 · 2017-09-13T03:55:16+00:00

Never been catcalled; but then again, I'm a friggin troll.

ThePigmanAgain · 2017-09-13T01:27:56+00:00

The only catcalling i've ever witnessed went along the lines of "Here, kitty kitty!"

SkyGuppy · 2017-09-12T23:07:30+00:00

I've been "catcalled" a couple of times. Only time it actually bothered me was when a co-worker did it at work. I felt weirded out, turned my head and tried to just give her a bland look before moving on. Didn't happen again.

Ted8367 · 2017-09-12T23:53:56+00:00

Have you ever been catcalled in public?

Only once. It was from a bunch of women I worked with. They were all gathered together at a window with nothing better to do than (I surmise) giggling and silly chatter. I didn't react.

Later on a couple of them asked me why no reaction. They seemed a bit disappointed - at their lack of agency, I guess. I mansplained that I was so used to being catcalled all the time that I hardly noticed.

Absolute bogus bullshit of course, but sometimes you gotta do what a man gotta do.

Blutarg · 2017-09-13T01:19:23+00:00

Nope. Too ugly.

RapeMatters · 2017-09-13T03:54:56+00:00

I've been catcalled quite a few times, but it depends on what I'm wearing.

If I wear my uniform or a three piece suit, quite often. T shirt and jeans, never.

mymraccount_ac · 2017-09-13T10:31:53+00:00

On nights out on the town, sure. In my experience, any time a group or men or a group of women get together and get drunk, they are just as bad as one another.

Mythandros · 2017-09-14T00:07:09+00:00

Nope. Nor have I ever seen anyone else do it.

WildHuntsman · 2017-09-14T05:23:36+00:00

This isn't a cat-call, but some girl gropes my posterior at a festival, she then proceeded to run off laughing with her friend. It was an overall unenjoyable experience.

InBaggingArea · 2017-09-12T22:00:59+00:00

Yes? What about my experience with catcalling?

Title	[Discussion] Your experience with catcalling?
Author	Ooozu
Upvotes	6
Comments	30
Date	September 12, 2017 10:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6zqa73/discussion_your_experience_with_catcalling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/discussion-your-experience-with-catcalling.914431 https://theredarchive.com/post/914431

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