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I can't get over how vapid, vacuous and uninspired most women are. It seems like I can't get off unless I know nothing about them. Well... I lied. If I hate fuck them or make them do something they find uncomfortable it eases the tension. Looking for sage advice.

[deleted]

January 1, 2014

24 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	I can't get over how vapid, vacuous and uninspired most women are. It seems like I can't get off unless I know nothing about them. Well... I lied. If I hate fuck them or make them do something they find uncomfortable it eases the tension. Looking for sage advice.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	48
Date	January 1, 2014 2:02 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1u5orq/i_cant_get_over_how_vapid_vacuous_and_uninspired/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-cant-get-over-how-vapid-vacuous-and-uninspired.9464 https://theredarchive.com/post/9464

Comments

[–]regtopolous9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a bi-product of one's narcissism.

Women exist for you still as a way to define yourself.

You end up worrying that everyone else can see her imperfections, and just by being around her you're devaluing yourself. The rest of the world judging you by her. Over time you end up finding the girl annoying to be around, and find her attraction towards you to be disgusting.

It comes down to really a few factors:

You're not really compatible long term with the girls you're fucking.
You're too worried about the judgement from other people.

what they are: pleasant but disposable.

Yes and no. You aren't actually disposing with a girl. It's not like you're killing them and thus actually disposing them.

Fucking a woman does not dispose of her. It delights her.

Thinking of sex from a frame of mind where after fucking she is disposed with will pretty much always lead to disappointment.

It's not really about finding the right girl. It's really figuring out what experiences you find enjoyable from women because as you admit they are also pleasant.

Think of women more as an experience as opposed to a possession.

Then you can understand. You do not own the girl, she does not define your value. You are having an experience with a woman for a period of time.

At this moment, ask yourself , "given my other options in life, is there anything else I would rather being doing than this?"

If the answer is no, then continue on that experience.

If the answer is yes, find a woman that you'd enjoy the experience with.

Separate the pleasant from the disposable, focus on the pleasantness and ignore the imperfections.

When it is no longer pleasant, leave, and continue on until you find someone pleasant.

[–]charlesbukowksi3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]worms_to_mooch_sex16 points17 points18 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I met a girl that wasn't like that. She was different. She was like my peer. We talked about interesting shit and blah blah blah long story I ended up helping her improve her confidence and other skills she was lacking and guess what then she left me to pursue her dream to be just like those girls she had said she hated. Truth was she just was too down on herself so she had convinced herself she was different when actually, given the opportunity, she would be just like them.

Why does that story sound so familiar? Is it a common plot line in movies or something?

Maybe a counsellor could give you some ideas about whether the hatefucking and making them do shameful things is doing more harm than good, if there's some better way to build up from there and come out stronger.

I agree that you see a lot of ridiculous things and bad numbers on things like personality/culture/perspective being hugely unattractive. Maybe people in some other city/country would be better, but also consider that people grow up when they have to. Depending on their age, what they're surrounded by, they can just be totally disgusting for anything more than casual.

Sounds like you need women who know themselves and have a life of their own. Could your own circles/approach/criteria kind of filter out these kind of women and leave you with hotter but vapid women?

[–]charlesbukowksi0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]blahm38 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Traz_Onmale 13 points14 points15 points 12 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Evolved_Red4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Aussie here (for now, soon to be moving to the U.S. for work). The American attitude in 'wanting to get laid.' is the same here, if not bigger than what I've've experienced in my time overseas in the US and Europe.

I suspect it comes down to the taboo of the subject. Sex in America is still extremely taboo. Hell just look at their media, in films they have no problems showing all sorts of gore:"Torture, mutilation, woman bashings etc." No one bats an eyelid as long as its getting a adult rating.

But show a penis on screen or worse yet, a woman's vagina? All hell breaks lose.

Australia is extremely American-centric, and their trends tend to be followed and amplified down here. And i think your theory is spot on, going by anecdotal experience.

Also with my 12 months i spent in Europe, i found that sex isn't such a big deal there in a sense that it's extremely liberal there and i get the impression that one shouldn't be afraid of their sexuality, i.e. it's not as taboo as the USA and hence, not such a major goal for Europeans in general, which in turn why their attitudes to sex is much better.

My 0.02.

[–]thedarkerside1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]gstvtrp1 point 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]cagethepepper 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wolololololololo0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]czabak-1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

As a European I would argue that those "friendships" are really just friendzones (using a beta for validation or to increase value and attract desired alpha) and are being called that just because being a beta is a norm for a man here in europe and therefore nobody sees anything wrong in such behavior.

Therefore following the red pill theory will result in many more lays in europe than doing the same in america, where bitches are far more entitled and demanding (personal experience), perhaps because american men generally have higher value and compete more aggressively for available pussy, resulting in smaller incentive for women to improve.

This, by the way, appears to be a pattern. I've noticed that places with the lowest quality men (Ukraine, Russia), generally produce best women as opposed to countries like Australia, where men generally have much higher value (looks, earning ability) and women are mostly horrendous.

[–]Traz_Onmale -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed Contributorgekkozorz2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Manuel_S0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Traz_Onmale 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Clauderoughly6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorOccamsUsername1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If, as a portion here do, you subscribe to the idea that women are without love, honor, or value- there's not much anyone here can do to talk you out of your resentment.

If you want fucks to not be hate fucks, you have to be selective first, and groom second. Everyone has imperfections, but if you find a girl without a strong sense of entitlement or materialism, that's an ideal base to start from and to see how well she'll fall in line behind your leadership.

It doesn't matter if this is how you've always thought- you are conducting yourself with women as though they are pleasant and disposable, is it any wonder that your attitude continues reflects this?

Have you tried having a go with a relationship to get past the hate fucking? If you compose yourself with a clear enough set of parameters on the front end, you may be growing yourself and an intended partner into natural, very rewarding roles.

Perhaps something here may help.

[–]usku3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Try changing up your target girl. 10s can be pretty vapid because they don't have to try. Dudes typically fall over themselves for a knockout, so they don't have to be interesting to get a solid provider between their legs.

Find a girl who is in the 6-7 range on average. You'll find her to be more interesting because she can't get by on looks alone.

You can always wait for the right combo who meets your requirements, but you might get pretty burned out with the game by the time that rolls around.

Besides, once you get towards your mid life area, looks aren't as important in a long term partner as they were when you're twenty. (looks are still a valid concern, but there is only so much fucking stupid you are willing to put up with when you are mid life as opposed to when you are twenty)

[–]dirtyhotthrowaway1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]charlesbukowksi0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]apackofwankers2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

http://cgt411.tech.purdue.edu/covey/48_laws_of_power.htm

The 48 Laws of Power

Law 4 - Always Say Less than Necessary

When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 12 - Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim

One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones. Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will. A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 14 - Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy

Knowing about your rival is critical. Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead. Better still: Play the spy yourself. In polite social encounters, learn to probe. Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions. There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.

Law 32 - Play to People’s Fantasies

The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.

[–]dirtyhotthrowaway2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]Theophagist6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]charlesbukowksi2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Things would be easier for all of us if we were gay. No, I'm straight but I resent most women. That recent TRP Nietzsche post actually had 2 apropos aphorisms, for me:

"Everyone carries within him an image of woman that he gets from his mother; that determines whether he will honor women in general, or despise them, or be generally indifferent to them."

"A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy."

For me, both ring true. It is the sustained relationship I really have trouble with, for the reasons explicated.

And while I appreciate the Fetlife suggestion and general exploratory sexual suggestions I've done my fair share. I've been to a few kink clubs. They tend to attract a certain type of character but that character is not my own. Kinky girls are great though.

[–]cagethepepper 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mrpoopistan0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]charlesbukowksi0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]mrpoopistan2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

B for A substitutions in situations that require negotiating a personal issue are typically a sign of an avoidant personality disorder, not narcissism (although some avoidants display signs of narcissism developed as a layer of ego insulation).

Avoidance can be triggered by a shitload of different childhood issues, but typically in men who seek promiscuity without emotional connection, it comes back to dear old mom, including emotional negligence (but not physical negligence, which will generally lead to some form of sociopathy), an asexual image of the mother (divorce or widowing without remarriage or dating, hyper-feminism, and hyper-religiosity are popular sources), a burdensome family load (lots of little siblings to take care of), poor modeling of pair bonding (lack of proper male-female relationships for role modeling).

The upside is that about 50% of the literature for TRP is basically a re-hash of treatment programs for avoidant behavior. Work on social skills, force yourself to go out an engage, don't over-weight the value of response, even creating a lifestyle that attracts others -- all that actually shows up in the lit for AvPD. It's pretty much TRP minus the right-wing political stuff.

The big difference is that AvPD therapists will tell you to work on understanding the emotional world of the people that you mean to seduce. That is to say that you might benefit from trying to appreciate their reality rather than dehumanizing them.

Based on my knowledge of both TRP and AvPD, I'd say that's where you're at. And, honestly? That's disappointing. Because you can appreciate women for just being women. Yeah, it's harder in a world where they're not taught to appreciate the joy of being women, but . . . they're not all empty husks of vapidity. And, yes, a fair number of them are boring, but let's not act like we're just an army of fiery Latin lovers waiting to leave them all a bunch of quivering wrecks.

Perhaps you'd benefit from some further distance from women for the time being. It doesn't sound like you're wild about the results you're getting.

One of the downside to TRP is that it doesn't supply much of an answer to the "now what?" question. You're not going to magically de-program the desire for a fulfilling relationship with a person you value and who values you. TRP will tell you how to get to a certain point with women, but beyond that point the rate of return drops pretty dramatically. After that, it becomes your problem.

I'd encourage you to either go for full distance from women for a while, or to at least explore their world a little more before defaulting to "hate fuck". You're dumping a lot of expectations on a woman who is likely not much more than a random stranger.

[–]charlesbukowksi0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]mrpoopistan1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]charlesbukowksi1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Without going into boring detail the best way to characterize my parents, probably my whole family, is something like the Bluths from Arrested Development. But it may be a waste of time to characterize, as Tolstoy said, "All happy families are alike but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

Any idiosyncrasies or neuroses that I, or my siblings, have stem from familial paranoia, mistrust and narcissism. I've met a few people with similar upbringings and strikingly similar personalities and values and so I'm not under the delusion this is uncommon. I think regtopolous was right that repulsion can develop from viewing women you date/fuck as a reflection of your value. That is a problem and something I'll work on. I'll start by rereading Self-Reliance. I think Nietzsche was right that your underlying image of woman comes from your mother. Mine in particular was manipulative, deceitful and wholly unreliable (but not unloving or unpleasant) and so I notice, if not ascribe, those qualities in all women.

[–]mrpoopistan2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Just_like_Your_Face0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'll call bullshit. You have no idea what you're talking about. Repressed homosexuality is Freudian bullshit that gay rights activists use to shame any man who considers homosexuality as repellant as it is.

childhood emotional trauma tied to a doting mother.

"you have mommy issues." Another loosely defined piece of armchair intellectualism.

The fact that excessive alcohol consumption is part of your behavior suggests that you need to consider digging deeper than "hey, I need advice".

Or perhaps alcohol is a widely used product that is easy to become addicted to in today's culture.

If you're not going to look into counseling or therapy (which I'd feel safe guessing that almost no one in the TRP threads is inclined to do),

You feel safe guessing a lot of things.

frankly channeling your behavior in a more satisfying manner is the next best choice.

So this is your conclusion.. "I think you should change." Brilliant.

[–]Gorgonzola540 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]likechoklit4choklit1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]cedricmordrin0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]FortunateBum0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nemester-3 points-2 points-1 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]charlesbukowksi-2 points-1 points0 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Nemester-1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I couldn't find this earlier, but finally located it. This guy says it how it is.

It is the close of a busy and vexatious day — say half past five or six o’clock of a winter afternoon. I have had a cocktail or two, and am stretched out on a divan in front of a fire, smoking. At the edge of the divan, close enough for me to reach her with my hand, sits a woman not too young, but still good-looking and well-dressed — above all, a woman with a soft, low-pitched, agreeable voice. As I snooze she talks — of anything, everything, all the things that women talk of: books, music, the play, men, other women. No politics. No business. No religion. No metaphysics. Nothing challenging and vexatious — but remember, she is intelligent; what she says is clearly expressed, and often picturesquely. I observe the fine sheen of her hair, the pretty cut of her frock, the glint of her white teeth, the arch of her eye-brow, the graceful curve of her arm. I listen to the exquisite murmur of her voice. Gradually I fall asleep — but only for an instant. At once, observing it, she raises her voice ever so little, and I am awake. Then to sleep again — slowly and charmingly down that slippery hill of dreams. And then awake again, and then asleep again, and so on.

I ask you seriously: could anything be more unutterably beautiful?

— H.L. Mencken, In Defense of Women

[–]charlesbukowksi-3 points-2 points-1 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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