I was pretty shocked to see just how sexist attitudes towards Domestic Violence are

2015-08-03T10:37:48+00:00

Only men are ever evil and wrong. Especially white men.

Imnotmrabut · 2015-08-03T16:06:56+00:00

Duluth Model buries key facts on domestic violence - Erin Pizzey

**"In the mid 1970s my colleagues and I made the disturbing discovery that women physically assaulted partners in marital, cohabiting, and dating relationships as often as men assaulted their partners. This finding caused me and my former colleague Suzanne Steinmetz to be excommunicated as feminists. Neither of us has accepted that sentence, but it remains in force. So when Salman Rushdie was condemned to death for his heresy, we may have felt even more empathy than most people because we had also experienced many threats, including a bomb threat.

The vitriolic 20-year controversy had largely subsided by 1997. There are a number of reasons the controversy subsided. One reason is the overwhelming accumulation of evidence from more than a hundred studies showing approximately equal assault rates. Another is the explosive growth of marital and family therapy from a family systems perspective which assumes mutual effects. In addition, research by clinical psychologists such as O'Leary brought psychologists face to face with the assaults by both parties. In November 1997, however, the controversy was suddenly reignited by newspaper headlines declaring "Partners Unequal in Abuse". These headlines were based on findings from the "National Violence Against Women in America Survey" (called the NVAW survey from here on). The NVAW surveyed 8,000 women and 8,000 men representing 16,000 households. The study was sponsored by the National Institute of Justice and the Centers for Disease Control. The NVAW study found that men physically assaulted their female partners at three times the rate at which women engaged in such behavior."**

The Controversy Over Domestic Violence by Women A Methodological, Theoretical, and Sociology of Science Analysis, Murray A. Straus

ExpendableOne · 2015-08-03T14:57:49+00:00

using male privilege

wtf?! Those "privileges" do not exist, nor is what it is describing actually a "male privilege". That's literally just trying to use social gender roles to manipulate someone in a setting that isn't even social. Women would be just as likely to pull shit like "well, I'm a woman so you have to treat me a certain way", and it's manipulative as fuck but it's not "female privilege" unless it's actually being backed up by society. The only time it becomes "female privilege" is when you are in a social setting and other people are directly supporting or enforcing those cultural behaviours for you... which doesn't really happen for men anymore(unless he's in a heavily religious place like the the middle-east or some Mennonite reserve) but most certainly still does happen for women.

jdub_06 · 2015-08-03T17:44:24+00:00

in another section of reddit I responded to someone saying "women dont hit back" with "women do hit...all the time... read the CDC stats on DV... women hit and seriously injure men at almost an identical rate to men hitting and seriously injuring women."

its marked as a controversial comment, this is telling of how the PR war by the feminists has warped peoples perceptions

ralphswanson · 2015-08-03T16:57:54+00:00

The Duluth model is feminism in action, where they claim all problems originate from men having all the power and from oppression of women. From wikipedia:

As of 2006, the Duluth Model is the most common batterer intervention program used in the United States.[2] It is based in feminist theory positing that "domestic violence is the result of patriarchal ideology in which men are encouraged and expected to control their partners".

Great propaganda, but has no basis in reality. It was the only model taught in my law school.

Juan_Golt · 2015-08-03T18:27:42+00:00

Yep. Good old Duluth model. The power and control wheel is one of those things that they use to show how everything is abuse. I love how some of them are blatantly contradictory. "Taking her money" and "Not giving her enough money" are in the same section.

http://www.theduluthmodel.org/cms/files/Using%20Children%20Wheel.pdf

Saying "Children need their father" is now domestic violence. "Using court actions to take her money" is now domestic violence.

You can't make this shit up. Literally you can't. If I wanted to make feminists look bad, I wouldn't write crap like this because no one would believe it.

Side note. This is how men get arrested no matter what. The power and control wheel is the modern version of 'what did you do to deserve it?' for men.

Il128 · 2015-08-04T01:06:47+00:00

According to the Duluth Model, the three times I called the police in regard to my wife (now x) abusing me, I was the abuser. The well trained police even twisted their reports to make the evidence of her clear abuse not so clear.

Yeah, I got custody of three of the four children despite that. Would have all four if I'd never called the police. Fortunately here the children have a say at 13. They told the truth.

Fuck the Duluth Model. It's feminist propaganda.

StarsDie · 2015-08-03T13:21:45+00:00

Half the time I see gender neutral stuff when talking about abuse (even if in practice such a thing isn't truly gender neutral)... And then half the time I see shameless bias like this. Frustrating.

KamiNekoSama · 2015-08-03T16:54:30+00:00

Ok... i have a stupid question. How does one not use male privilege? I mean just being male is privilege right so does that make us all abusers?

throwawaylifespan · 2015-08-03T21:35:52+00:00

Crazy thing is that you only ever find out how wrong the common belief is when false accusations happen to you. UK govt stats suggest that male on female is almost identical to female on male.

jaheiner · 2015-08-03T16:00:45+00:00

I think the best part of this was the part about using the children. Every time I've ever seen children used as a tool to hurt the spouse/former spouse, it's been a woman doing it to a father.

There are plenty of cases of fucked up parents who use the kids to get back at eachother and go back and forth attempting to play the kids against the other parent from both men and women, don't get me wrong, I am not saying it's only one side. That being said, with how heavily the court favors the mother, the father could be the much more fit parent and still have 0 ammunition to affect any change on the situation with the kids when it comes to custody because he was born with a penis and not a vagina.

How the fuck can people act like they are a victim of a system that so heavily favors them is what I don't get.

SoWoWMate · 2015-08-03T19:55:53+00:00

A questions to all americans: Do you really use the word privilege in that way, or is it just used by feminists? In Germany we don't use the word in that way at all. I am not sure if thats because of cultural differences or because of feminists.

Mitschu · 2015-08-04T09:01:22+00:00

Being Bossy

Making all the big decisions. Acting like the boss all the time.

I thought the argument was that when men did it, it was called "leadership?"

#BanBossy

aesopstortoise · 2015-08-03T14:00:13+00:00

A lot of these are pretty much copies of much older documents, when abusive behavior by male household members had been identified as a significant issue but before much light had been shed on the opposite. They likely remain at the top of search results because a significant number of people affected by the issues discussed are searching for and using them. The fact that they appear in the first pages of a search is not in itself indicative of bias, merely that they have been found most relevant to certain searches.

Domestic violence is an ongoing issue, however the classic example is a man abusing a women. This harkens from days where men had more power in certain areas, it's merely a habitual go-to assumption that has been learned, rather than the opposite being deliberately ignored. I don't class this as discrimination directly, merely an example of society's sluggishness in adaptation.

The way to resolve or rectify this is not to guilt the authors into submission, but rather to point out modern issues and back them up with veritable proof. If this is then ignored, only then can we begin to adopt other approaches to these issues. Any other form of activism gives us a very poor image, which is the lat thing we need.

brokage · 2015-08-03T15:29:20+00:00

To be fair, it's from "Power and Control: Tactics of Men Who Batter" from 1986. And was adapted from that book, or article, in 1995.

It's not current. And it's not clear that it's still in any use for any official capacity.

At worst, it's a case for how domestic violence was historically most commonly portrayed as something a man does to a woman.

At best, it's focusing on an audience of hetero women. There is no denial that woman cannot abuse men in a domestic situation. There's nothing necessarily morally wrong with designing a campaign shaping a message towards a particular group.

If domestic violence is important to you, take this example as a potential format for addressing men about domestic violence.

ThePigmanAgain · 2015-08-03T23:01:39+00:00

The Duluth wheel, the reason i don't take Steven Bidulph seriously as a men's movement guy. I picked up one of his books and there he was, taking this fucking thing seriously. I threw the book away and haven't touched his work since.

Title	I was pretty shocked to see just how sexist attitudes towards Domestic Violence are
Author	YM_Industries
Upvotes	197
Comments	72
Date	August 3, 2015 10:22 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3fls5u/i_was_pretty_shocked_to_see_just_how_sexist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-was-pretty-shocked-to-see-just-how-sexist.974112 https://theredarchive.com/post/974112

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