I've been talking to some Feminists recently. When they tell me things I really try to get beyond how they are telling me what they are and really try to understand the spirit of what they say. Do I get insulted a lot? Sure, but getting offended doesn't further the conversation. I look beyond that insult and take on their argument.

So what have they been telling me? The #1 thing I've been hearing is that I'm the first MRA they have talked to that doesn't fling insults at me. Obviously I try to gauge people when they say stuff like this, and for the most part they don't seem to be doing this as a strategy. They really do seem to be talking from experiences. That is a problem for the MRM.

I've often heard among MRA's that Feminists are unreachable. I find this surprising because I find them to be very reachable. People who care a lot about Feminism will often concede that many of the points I talk about are valid points for men's rights. I've even talked to some hardcore radical Feminists that seem to make money off being Feminists, and with a little conversation even they will often admit that men face issues as well (although the latter types are more likely to point the blame back at men).

I'm not here to tell fellow MRA's what their strategy should be. I am here to tell you what is working for me. If you want to reach Feminists about the issues that we all seem to care so much about, and if you are having troubles with your current strategies, give my strategy a chance (and it's not really much of a strategy to be honest).

I try not to insult them in any way. I feel like there are negative views about MRA's, and as soon as we start hurling insults we've just reinforced every negative streotype others think/have been told about us.

I also try to understand that they are coming from a completely different perspective than I am. Sometimes something that seems negative can actually be positive movement towards our views. We can't expect Feminists to completely change over night. Often times there is a process where someone accepts new information they didn't previously accept and they have to work to fit that in their worldview. If you push too hard expecting to much change to quickly, you can cause the other person to throw that newly accepted information away due to a lack of trust when you reinforce the negative stereotypes they had. When people accept new information, they still might have these bigger worldviews that you disagree with, but the more little bits of information that we can get them to accept the harder it will be for them to hold on that worldview and they will slowly come to the center and eventually abandon the worldview altogether. Also, every time a little bit of information does get incorporated, we have just done something to earn some trust on behalf of all MRA's.

Often times I'll hear things about how I seem like a nice guy but I'm a part of a hate movement. This would make a lot of MRA's upset. I see this as a positive. I just explain that I'm an MRA, they think I'm a nice guy, and that there are many others just like me that aren't hateful that I interact with on a regular basis. They have already shown some trust in me so they either now have to believe I'm lying or they have to accept that what I'm saying is true (and it's not a hard thing to accept when you really think about it). These are the little things we can do to improve our image and gain trust outside of the MRA circle, even within the Feminist circle. People often tell me about how others have said this or that and I always use myself as an example of how I don't fit any of the stereotypes they are explaining.

Also, admitting women have issues is perfectly acceptable. I've seen some MRA's deny this and that really bothers me. If we believe men have issues then how arrogant do we have to be to believe that women have none? Both men and women face inequalities and issues often in different ways and for different reasons, and that does not minimize the issues of the opposite sex one bit.

I also like to talk about some big issues that are very hard for others to get upset about. The easiest issue I have found is the imprisonment issue. Around 93% of the prison population is male. This is ridiculous. Everybody knows that men do not commit 93% of the serious crimes. Anybody who doesn't know that probably isn't worth talking to at this point anyways, and would likely be considered fringe by other Feminists. There are some big issues like parental rights for men that are serious issue but those also get into stepping on the toes of closely regarded rights for women such as abortion rights. There is no female right that is being stepped on when I say that the prison population should not be 93% male. On top of that, many of the go-to arguments such as "Feminism is working on that" don't apply here. I don't think I've ever had a Feminist tell me that Feminism was working on helping even out the prison rates. There are a number of these types of issues that can be talked about, and when Feminists start accepting issues like these then eventually you can work up the trust to talk about more controversial issues.

I really cannot stress enough how much these conversations are so much about trust. No matter how logical you are in an argument, you cannot force someone to believe what you are saying. In fact, they cannot force themselves to believe what you are saying. If they don't trust you at all then they have no reason to believe (or even listen to) you.

I really see 2 major groups of MRA's. There is the heavy anti-Feminist group of MRA's (I think GirlWritesWhat fits into this group) and then there is the group of MRA's that might be anti-Feminist (but not necessarily) but if they are it's to much less of an extent (I think Warren Farrell fits into this group). I try to prioritize talking about men's issues over talking about anti-feminism where I think the former group often prioritizes talking about anti-Feminism over men's rights in particular (although often both groups talk about both issues). Really, I think it's mainly a strategic difference where the anti-Feminist MRA's want to tear down the trust people have in Feminism in order to get people to start listening to men's issues more while the men's issues MRA's use more of a positive strategy of just explaining how men face inequalities.

Anyways, sorry if I rambled a bit, but Feminists absolutely are reachable. Many MRA's don't believe me, but I constantly have good conversations with Feminists and even receive private messages from Feminists that want to be more anonymous. I have even received private messages from anti-MRA's thanking me for my reasonable message and apologizing for downvote raids by other Feminists and anti-MRA's. If you are having troubles reaching these people and you give my "strategy" a shot (which is really just treating others nicely and meeting vindictiveness/hatred/disdain with kindness) then I think you'll find out pretty quickly that many Feminists are very reachable.