Couples and Money

IHateNormis · 2022-08-20T04:03:50+00:00

I would have separate transaction accounts because I don’t trust anyone. Maybe a joint savings term deposit account where you cannot easily withdraw. I have also never been in a relationship though, so this hasn’t been tested

RatDontPanic · 2022-08-20T13:16:26+00:00

We have a joint account. We're both really conservative with our spending due to being dirt poor when we got married. Things ain't the same anymore but we kept those old habits. My wife is just as good as me at budgeting. I'd never have separate accounts.

insertcredit2 · 2022-08-20T08:18:14+00:00

My wife and I have a joint account that we each pay in a proportion of our wages and this account covers all bills, plus groceries and mortgage. Everything else stays in our personal accounts.

johnnybayarea · 2022-08-20T11:43:09+00:00

I'm may be the only idiot here :). I make all the $. My wife is a stay at home mom.

We both have our own accounts and a joint account, but it's really pointless since I make all the money. I give her full access to the money, in cash or in chequings. I never refused giving her money.

We have similar spending habits, both fairly frugal.

Been married for 4 years.

If you all are wondering, I'm fully aware of divorce statistics. I'm very confident my wife will not divorce me.

2022-08-20T08:51:13+00:00

Seperated account. Though, mainly because of my beliefs, she'd have full access over our finances.

SaltyGeekyLifter · 2022-08-20T09:46:15+00:00

We have a joint account that we both put money in to from our own accounts. I run savings (and am the only contributor due to wifey’s financial incontinence) and my wife runs household bills.

RazhL · 2022-08-20T10:53:25+00:00

Seperate accounts. But all aims towards a shared life.

1 or multiple centralized accounts where we both pay fair shares of our income (assuming 2 incomes) towards upkeep expenses (mostly). The rest should be co-managed by the both of us.
Both of you also having an open, private account is absolutely fine (even preferred).
Do with your private money whatever you want, but the shared account must be discussed. No exceptions.

The underlying thought is that you don’t trust any one party with all the money (myself included). No half measures on this. Money corrupts.

I know that might seem a bit cold and bothersome to some, but i’ve seen money in my own family causing cracks. I’ve seen money rip my stepfathers family in half. “My brother is dead to me” gets dropped occasionally.

Taipanshimshon · 2022-08-20T20:53:02+00:00

Having been married...

It doesn't matter where you keep the money you earn during marriage as long as it's traceable ( you know... Don't deposit money from your cocaine sales ) ... And you don't mix it with pre marriage assets.

As far as how you spend it ... If you're married and in this case I'd hope y'all know what the other makes... I'd be pissed if my spouse expected me to pay all the bills) mortgage etc and she didn't participate.( As long as that wasn't pre arranged)

johnnybayarea · 2022-08-20T23:13:54+00:00

I am married, we have 1 joint account that every pay check goes into. We have pre marriage savings/stock portfolios as well that are kept mostly separate. Currently all of our life is lived out of that joint account, but I am considering making scheduled payout from the joint to personal accounts or rather personal trading accounts for "fun".

I prefer this since i'm generally the higher earner and the more frugal person (in all my relationships). Where having split accounts doesn't protect me in divorce, I'd rather have a closer eye to what my partner is doing with their money. With that said, she can buy whatever she wants/needs. The alarm bells only go off at the end of the month if our CC bills are up.

The concern I have with split accounts is if 1 person is frugal and 1 isn't. The less frugal person burns thru their discretionary fund, meaning they grew the family's worth much less. While the other partner will end up contributing more to their retirement at the end. Worse even, if you get divorced, the other partner would have full access to the frugal partners slush fund.

BumblingBeta · 2022-08-21T00:21:28+00:00

I would never trust someone else with my finances. That would be mad! Letting someone else have control of my money so they can spend it how they want, you've got to be kidding!

Why are most people saying they give their wife full access to their money? That's not very red pill. That's about as blue pill as you can get.

Marzipan-Happy · 2022-08-21T00:32:47+00:00

Personally I question the mental capacity of anyone who works for a living and has no idea how the money they earn is spent.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2022-08-22T14:30:45+00:00

I would have have separate accounts and I would use mine to pay household bills and manage money. She would have her own bank accounts, plus she would max out her IRA every year and 401K as well. If she was working at a higher end gig, I would let her pay up to her % of our total income, if she insisted (I have never been married, but I have had some girls who, for all practical purposes, lived with me. So to the extent she wanted to - some do - I would allow it, or to pay for one off items. But in general I just pick up the tab.)

I would manage everything because I am good at logistics, $ and turned myself into a self-made millionaire, plus the women I date are in their 20s. So just like my girls think that travel plans magically take care of themselves, so would financial planning.

Title	Couples and Money
Author	Marzipan-Happy
Upvotes	5
Comments	40
Date	August 20, 2022 2:59 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/AllPillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/wswi9o/couples_and_money/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/couples-and-money.1139658 https://theredarchive.com/post/1139658