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Question for men, women's hobbies.

August 12, 2022
5 upvotes

I have seen a lot of commentary about women's activities, and what's not acceptable Art (she's crazy) Clubbing (slut!) Spending time with her girlfriends (sus) Movies (lazy)

So what is acceptable beyond working out? Under water basket weaving? Kayaking? Reading? Deep sea diving?

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Post Information
Title Question for men, women's hobbies.
Author Marzipan-Happy
Upvotes 5
Comments 57
Date August 12, 2022 6:15 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/question-for-men-womens-hobbies.1139687
https://theredarchive.com/post/1139687
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/wmducr/question_for_men_womens_hobbies/
Comments

[–]Search-United 6 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Depend on what type of friends you got and how much influence they have over you. and movies are cool. Clubbing instant red flag. Gym green flag

[–]CoverYourAwrahMaroon Pill 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You really think gym is a green flag?

The activity itself isn’t so bad, but the attitude and culture that comes with it is what’s insufferable.

[–]TryLambda 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don’t forget about the instathots yelling at random men in the gym “do you need something” at the top of their lungs multiple times

[–]CoverYourAwrahMaroon Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That too

[–]Liberated_Asexual 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

A fraction of the people who regularly hit the gym are immersed in fitness culture. For a lot of people, it's a healthy coping mechanism, and something they're doing to be more attractive. It's only in America where we have overly sensitive and insecure fat people where being fit is somehow negative.

[–]CoverYourAwrahMaroon Pill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We’re talking about different people.

I’m referring to gym bunnies who have gym as their whole identity.

[–]Search-United 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What so bad with gym culture please explain

[–]CoverYourAwrahMaroon Pill 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gym bunnies tend to be high testosterone and incredibly arrogant.

Not feminine, but not feminist either because they know men don’t like that. So they find a weird middle ground that only a specific type of dude goes for. (musclehead gym bros).

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What if they have only one or two friends? Vs. A ton?

[–]Search-United 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It the quality of the Friends that matter not the quantity.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

For reference my hobbies are : water color painting, drawing, knitting, embroidery, reading, and going on walks to pet the horses and goats in the neighborhood.

[–]CoverYourAwrahMaroon Pill 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Objectively speaking, those are all stereotypically feminine activities.

So honestly, it would be a green flag from me for all of those. It’s cute.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Except, probably coming back smelling like horse 🤣. There's mini horses about 4? Blocks from me, and now when they see me they run to the fence for face pets and ear scratches.

[–]Anti_Thing 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I can't imagine any guy having a problem with any of those (unless they're against art because they're extremely religious or some other odd reason).

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I've met guys who are convinced any woman that is in artist is, by default, batshit .

[–]Anti_Thing 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought that was just something people say as a joke TBH, like with horse girls.

[–]Purple-Heiss 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

There are different artistic disciplines and each one can be related to all kind of ideas, preconceptions, prejudices and stereotypes.

I hope you don't feel like I'm flirting with you, I'm not (and if anyone jokes about this, screw them), but a girl who is into visual arts catches my attention.

On the other hand, an actress or a dancer would make me suspicious: maybe I'm totally wrong but I feel they might be more inclined to promiscuity, narcissism and other behaviors that I don't find quite appealing.
If any actresses or dancers are reading this please don't be offended. I know this may be a complete bias on my part: as a musician, I've come to realize there are a lot of ideas about us that are not usually true, or at least I don't observe in my artistic environment.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Okay, so I am an asshole, but I feel like actors and actresses are liars for a living,and therefore untrustworthy. I agree with you , though. Like, think of only murders in the building, the artists on the show are all unbalanced.

[–]Eyesofmalice 4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Women should do whatever they want. Men shouldn't want to control womens' desires

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

I agree with this, I just find it interesting how there is in some cases, the need to govern what a woman does . For instance: my husband is always telling me I shouldn't watch alone ( dumb reality survival show) because reality TV will rot my brain. I have my masters in public health. I think I'm good.

[–]Eyesofmalice 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you going for what you wish over what your husband wishes. Having said that, and to play devil's advocate, it's in those type of cultural products (tv shows, movies, etc) that the patriarchy reproduced itself.

I don't think you should be watching them, but i also don't think societal changes should start from men telling women what to do, but rather, offering citizens forms of entertainment that are more fulfilling than tv, and enough free time to do them.

Your husband might be lying to himself saying he watches more interesting stuff, but at the end of the day you two probably have no access to enough public shows, nor enough free time to attend to them, and (maybe it's not your case) but most probably not enough money to cover all your expenses and also go out enough.

You're both being controlled to spend all of your free time glued to the TV or to the internet.

Some incels and red pillers claim that is posible to maximize the value you extract from as little leisure time were afforded, but I disagree with them.

To conclude, men shouldn't care so much about what women ought to do and not to do, but instead we should be fighting for less working hours, more leisure time and higher wages.

What has the incel population rising is not "the decline of western civilization " as Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson claim, nor is it dumb tv shows and movies. What's causing it is that education is becoming more and more expensive, culture is being monopolized by the ultra rich, and inflation won't allow people to live fulfilling lives with a single job.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I honestly spend my free time watching dumb shows, and I paint, sew or knit at the same time.

And I agree completely about fighting for better wages, and less working hours.

You have a very long an eloquent response, and I'm sorry but after a long day working and writing paper my brain is full of slop and I'm not giving you the response you deserve other than yep.

[–]Eyesofmalice 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No worries. Prioritize your rest friend. :)

[–]iamatwork24 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

What a weird fucking thing for your husband to say.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

He's very anti-reality TV, and anti romance novels. He also makes fun of the music I listen to. I just tell him to go eat a giant dick.

[–]iamatwork24 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well I’m glad you tell him that. What weird things to have such strong opinions about. Sounds controlling.

[–]EnteFetz 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I my opinions most hobbies are totally fine, but I keep seeing dating profiles who say they do pole dancing as a hobby, which I see as quite a red flag. I once dated a girl who went 3 times a week to dance class and did stuff like "commercial high heels", which I had never heard about before, but found very weird.

But I would say if she has any hobbies she is better than women who don't know what to do with their time, because then they get pets or watch too much TV or spend too much time on social media.

Women who say their dog is their life or that they have 4 cats gives me the ick. Also there are way too many basic dating profiles who say she likes wine, Netflix and some absolutely generic mainstream musician, which sounds like she must be a very boring person. I went on a few dates with a girl who literally could not talk about anything else than the Netflix series she was currently watching and some rock bands that I have never heard about before. There was absolutely no overlap in interests with her.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I don’t mind art. Art doesn’t make girls wacko, but sometimes wacko girls go into art. Or sometimes girls who really dig it and aren’t worried about making $ bc the plan on marrying a rich guy. Ex. I grew up with a girl who went to the Pratt Institute. She was actually talented but her primary talent was being hot. She cashed in her hotness by marrying an I-Banker, being a SAHM and painting in her free time.

What often happens with HVM is, they guy’s hobbies become her hobbies. So my girls wind up learning a lot about art, music and songwriting and, formerly, volleyball - I used to play on a co-rec team and we always needed girls.

So when you run into a girl who has a random hobby that one doesn’t usually associate with girls, odds are she used to fuck a guy who liked whatever it was.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I play video games 🤣🤣🤣 I developed that hobby long before I started dating lol.

[–]VasiliyZaitzev 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thus the expression "odds are". Ex. I knew a woman in med school who, for some reason, really liked cartography, which is more of a niche hobby for guys. Dunno if she picked it up from her dad, but as she had never had a bf, it wasn't from a dude she was dating.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's actually pretty neat!

[–]VasiliyZaitzev 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

IMO, any time as woman has a hobby that is primarily male oriented, it's pretty cool, even if it's smth I am not into, like video games or comic books. It gives them a "man-friendly" vibe.

[–]Anti_Thing 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've always had a thing for art girls, although I've found that we tend to not be compatible, unfortunately. I'm definitely still open to girls who are into art & tend to find them to be super hot.

Clubbing isn't necessarily a deal breaker but it is a red flag. I'm an introverted virgin nerd & devout Christian, so it's difficult for me to imagine a woman who's compatible with me who's into clubbing.

I don't see why spending time with her girlfriends or watching movies would be a problem, though those aren't really hobbies.

Anything is acceptable as long as it isn't immoral & as long as she doesn't spend too much time or money on it.

[–]IHateNormis 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It depends on what types of movies the female likes. If she likes romantic movies, I am not interested.

I would like it if a female likes reading. I like reading too and when I tell a female something interesting I read about they don’t care

[–]Siukslinis_acc 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Males might read different things. Sometimes one does not know how to respond. Male: i found this intetesting. Other person: ok (what the heck the male wants from me? What is the context and reason for this statement?)

[–]Incellius_Maximus -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Who tries to police that kind of thing? As long as other people don't break the law, then it's up to them. We should be less judgy. I probably have some hobbies that women would raise an eyebrow at, but so what.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You would be surprised. Even my husband picks on me because I like to watch Alone while I knit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Which of your hobbies do you think would raise eyebrows?

[–]MarBitt 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Almost all hobbies are acceptable to me, except for those that would interfere with my privacy or lifestyle, border on prostitution or harm others.

But acceptable does not mean plus. A plus is hobbies that indicate we are compatible, we could do them together or at least it's something I'd like to talk about, learn more about. Or hobbies I could benefit from.

[–]MAGA-Latino 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well anything that isn't being a hoe or a city girl will do.

Kayaking and deep sea diving does sound cool.

[–]kokorwqac 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I draw

[–]tired_hillbilly 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's two different reasons hobbies matter. Some are red flags, others are just incompatibilities.

Clubbing is a red flag; am I gonna find pics of you grinding on some random guy during 'girls night' on insta? I don't think you'd make a good LTR for anyone.

Kayaking is just an incompatibility. I'm not an outdoorsy person, so we just don't have a lot in common. You'll probably be a good LTR for somebody, just not me.

[–]flakybottom 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I dont care about hobbies as long as they are real. I've seen a lot of women fake hobbies to be in close proximity with certain men. One of the Dungeons and Dragons groups had 2 girls like that and it really derailed things.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can see how it would cause issues.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Art (she's crazy)

never heard this one b4

Clubbing (slut!)

Yeah, I agree

Spending time with her girlfriends (sus)

Depends on the girls

Movies (lazy)

never heard this one either.

So what is acceptable beyond working out?

Hobbies are mostly just distractions from real life. If you're truly dedicated to your family, which should be your number one priority in life, you don't need hobbies. Does that make you unidimensional? No. You can spend time teaching your kids and having them experience different hobbies or seeing the world. You can be a teacher of life for you kids.

I don't see why as a full grown adult, you're wasting your time doing silly hobbies that bring little value to your life. Unless you're single with no kids and have lots of time to waste.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

How is doing something you enjoy wasting your life? I love to emboider, but the most value it gives is that it puts pretty things on the walls or cute things on my kids clothes.

Painting? It makes me happy : Happy mommy, happy family.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

There's your answer. You do hobbies that bring value to your life for your family. If you being in a good mood helps serves a better relationship with your kids, then go for it.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

My girls got my artistic streak as well, so I guess it does provide value that way as well, because they rely on me for guidance.

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

That's what a parent should do with their kids. As much as we disagree on life, I am very happy to see people who care for their kids.

[–]SaltyGeekyLifter 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Knitting. Cookery (especially baking). Anything geekish.

Honestly I don’t care. The red flags are those which require one of two things:

  1. Socialising with blokes and alcohol, without me being there.

  2. Conventions, trips away etc.

There is actually a biological reason that men are more sensitive to this sort of thing than women - both of those flags affect those bits of our lizard brain that worry about paternity fraud.

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What about work trips ?

[–]SaltyGeekyLifter 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

A work trip as a single person? (Not Single, single). Acceptable, but I’d recommend a late night video call to husband/BF.

Conventions. Ladies should be particularly aware that such activity is deeply suss due to the alcohol these tend to involve.

There isn’t anything men can do about having these concerns as they are hardwired. What men will say though is “I don’t mind”, while overriding their instincts.

[–]no_bling_just_dingWhitePill (self aware MSTOW) 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

idk i dont think art is a bad hobby to have but thats a biased opinion as i make some myself, calling an artist crazy depends on what kind of art they make like paintings with acrylic or with menses

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Errr. Bodily fluid art is revolting.

[–]Ihatereeddiitt 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Makeup and abortions

[–]Marzipan-Happy[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why makeup ? ( other than holy shit, you don't need to fucking spackle your face)

[–]Ihatereeddiitt 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

because it's expected of women, women love makeup so there's something wrong with it if it doesn't.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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