False hope is abusive

ropecelling · 2023-08-01T15:46:58+00:00

would you write a check drawn on someone else's account that can't be cashed to make a third party do your bidding?

me neither but bluepillers would

Talagius · 2023-08-01T17:47:11+00:00

People giving me false hope and telling me I am worth love is why I asked tens of thousands of women and lost all my confidence from the rejections.

I wish I never asked a single one out. I can't imagine where I would be if I could still leave my house

EverVigilant1 · 2023-08-01T19:12:22+00:00

I'll agree with this. There are some men who should avoid dating and sex. There are some men and a very few women who just should not date or have dealings with the opposite sex.

The issue is whether you are one of those people. Only you can answer that. You're the only one who can decide that for yourself. Women have a tougher time of this because women get cock thrown at them on a daily basis, so they have to resist it if dating and sex aren't for them. But, yeah, there are some men and a few women who just should not date.

Exciting_Pay_1898 · 2023-08-02T18:58:24+00:00

They want to trick you into being a wage slave.

AlastorSitri · 2023-08-01T16:15:30+00:00

False hope is entirely dependant on the individual, and is part of the flaw with trying to have a discussion on these topics in an online space.

You very well could be the most hideous creature on the planet and realistically have zero chances in dating. However, simply being autistic isn't the be all end all, or being <6ft, or being bald, ect ect.

Using your terminal illness comparison, some dudes here simply have a cold and think they are dying. Is it false hope to say "Hey, maybe make some lifestyle changes and maybe you will be ok"

Safinated · 2023-08-01T16:24:10+00:00

No one likes defeatism, for anything, not just dating

ezbyte · 2023-08-01T21:19:08+00:00

If you’re making at least 50k, you can go to any rural run down place and get a girl. And she will think you’re smart and sophisticated. Y’all make this harder than you have to.

Enigmatic93 · 2023-08-02T05:48:07+00:00

False hope made me waste years of my life. I don't feel like going into details right now but if my future self could talk to my younger self I'd be in a better position in life. Now I have to spend the next 5 or so years digging myself out of this hole.

p_taradactyl · 2023-08-02T11:00:41+00:00

IDK how much hope can be derived from others' attempts to be optimistic in this and other situations where deep down, we know from experience that it may not be true. At the very least, there's no way that someone offering reassurance can say for sure that you are going to succeed eventually. So these platitudes shouldn't be taken as gospel and grasped onto, when we know that rationally, they're just words and ultimately meaningless.

But alas, being disillusioned and giving up gives rise to its own brand of hope. The change in mindset and shift in focus when one accepts that they may not be cut out for dating means a change in behavior. The burden is lifted, the stress goes down, there's not this pressure to keep searching, keep trying, keep deluding ourselves... It is very possible that being too laser-focused on dating/finding a partner is creating a hindrance. Sometimes the anxiety caused by wanting something badly sabotages the attempts. Like how couples who aren't able to get pregnant decide to accept it or decide to stop trying for a while and just relax, and that's when they are finally able to conceive. Similarly, being fixated on dating can give off an air of desperation, which can be a turn-off and a red flag. Projecting instead an attitude of inner peace & detachment from societal and self-imposed expectations comes across as more confident & self-aware, and that energy is more likely to inadvertently attract others.

Obviously can't speak for all women, but it's much more attractive when a man has his own thing going and doesn't act like he's looking for the missing piece to make him feel whole and worthwhile. In contrast is the man who gives the impression that he would want to rush into a serious relationship and/or would become too clingy, possessive, and dependent. So, though it may seem counterintuitive, giving up could actually increase attractiveness. No promises, of course, as I want to avoid giving false hope.

TL;DR: In conclusion, abandon hope, give up, accept it for what it is. You'll be happier, and as a bonus, there is probably a better chance of succeeding when you stop trying, because you don't seem desperate.

Title	False hope is abusive
Author	malesareobjects
Upvotes	27
Comments	42
Date	August 1, 2023 3:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/AllPillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/15ffnyw/false_hope_is_abusive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/false-hope-is-abusive.1227278 https://theredarchive.com/post/1227278

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