Im a very private man so I decided to share here. Ive been with my partner for 14 years.

We have 1 kid together and I admit to my faults (this will be lengthy sorry in advance) I was not the best at handling my emotions and started to become spiteful over the years since I worked 70+ hour weeks for 6 years so that she could stay home and keep house and raise our child.

The thing was she was not taking care of the home but did her best at taking care of our child. She became a fuctioning alcoholic over the years and I have said things over the years that she had taken to heart.

She would tell me things while drinking and say she didn't mean them when sober and to forget about it and I did just that and vice versa. Well so I thought. She told me that she was unhappy 1 year ago and I thought it was depression since she could give me no details. I asked her to see a therapist and followed up with her about it "if you can't talk to me about it talk to someone trained to deal with these feelings".

She went for one session then didn't follow through. She would be fine for a while then just break down. By this time I started to do some self reflection stepped down from my high paying job to try and work on my family.

Asked her if she wanted to do couples counseling which she said she would but then stated that she didn't want to. So then came the first day of many after that my heart sank into my stomach. "She wanted some time apart then no she wants a divorce". I took this poorly anger was the first action I took after the initial pain and shock.

I moved all the $ from the savings to the checkings and had all plans to withdraw it because to my perspective at that point this is out of nowhere and if shes leaving me after 13 years at that point there must be something else going on.

So I stay gone for a week I calmed down before I did anything and came to my senses I love her and thought she loved me so I am not going to just going to give up I will do everything in my power to work through this so I give her her space we go to the fair with our daughter and we start to fix things or so I thought shes ok with me coming back we talk about what all she felt was wrong in the relationship which was things I was already working on just hadn't fully fixed. So I did a 180 stopped all the bs and worked super hard on doing it all because this is what I wanted my wife my daughter my life! Everyday I would work clean house do it all and then 2 more times after this it was brought up the last one being its it its over. "No working it out its too late for that she waited to long to tell me now she is just faking being happy"? To me this was a gut punch and a heart twist all in one.

We've since told our daughter but this time Im not going to chase it if this is what you want and there is no counseling she is willing to do or and way that she is willing to work this out okay. I told her since she wants to leave she can leave this time I will be staying in this house that I have worked for for my family. I will sleep in the spare room and she can have the master. (Side note she had spoken to my brother's wife both times before speaking to me and now has a job that she had just started). I fall into depression and loose all care for what happens next I get fired from my job of 10 years and get a new job after burning through my savings. A couple months have passed and she never moved out we decided to fix up the house before summers over and get a cash out reappraisal so she would have seed money.

At this point I am a common conversation in my brothers life since he is worried about me and he said his wife said in a hinting way "its mighty convenient she gets a job and then can't do this anymore".

So I have that on my mind then I speak on that to my little sister and she says "yeah she told me she was worried last time when you took all the $ because what was she supposed to do".

Now Im thinking am I just an idiot blew up my life and trying to make hers an easy transition seening as she will leave debt free with about 100k cash and Ill pick up a new mortgage since the house is paid off? On top of everything she has not made a single move to move since the start I have made all the repairs when I made it clear that this would be a 50/50 split as I did not know how to do these repairs and I'm just learning as I go she could do the same. And on top of everything else she gets drunk one night and says that I'm the only guy she wants to be with and all the things that are wrong she wants to talk to me about and is horny but she doesn't want to lead me on.

So I'm just all types of confused. If you took the time to read all this and have any insight or something I don't know any comments would be appreciated good bad or any in between thanks for letting me vent

Just Copy and paste it.