Just wanted to share the experience I am going through. Married 27 years to a wonderful woman. She stayed with me longer than she should have. I never gave her the love and affection that she wanted. I grew up with an alcoholic father and I think it ruined me. I didn't know how to show affection and love very well due to trust issues I guess. The first few years were awesome and we had 3 kids together. I had always been a drinker and after a few years I would spend less and less time with her and the kids to go hang out with my drinking buddies on the weekends. I also had rage issues since early childhood that I can't explain so I was prone to flying off the handle over the tiniest of things. On reflection I should have known that what I was doing was wrong. But for some reason it just never occured to me. I can't explain why. My father was a poor role model and I guess I just assumed that was what you did. Just hang out with your buddies and ignore your family. Fast forward to now and she couldn't take my anger issues and sense of abandonment any longer and filed for divorce. I can't say that I don't blame her. I was a piece of shit for most of our marriage and should have known better. The divorce finalized 2 months ago. My daughter is getting married this week and my ex informed me that she is bringing her new boyfriend to the wedding. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend since the ink hasn't even dried on the divorce decree. I politely asked her if she would not bring him because it would cause a big distraction to everyone involed. She said no. Im pretty sure they were dating before the divorce was finalized but whatever. The last two days have been a black hole that brought me to my knees. I finally realized after all these years what a piece of shit I was and I had the best woman I could ever ask for and threw it all away. Im 100% responsible for the divorce because of my actions. But the thought of her being with another man has just crushed me. I have never experienced this massive wave of guilt and shame and self hatred that I have for myself. I let everyone down. I don't know how I can ever recover from this. I know I'm going to have to tear myself completely down to try and build myself back up. I don't know how I'm going to be able to handle the wedding seeing her with another man after we just literally got divorced. And yes, I know I deserve everything bad that I have coming to me for what I have done. I won't argue with that. I just hope that someday I can get better because life seems hopeless for me right now and I don't know that it will ever get any better.