50/50 custody versus other options?

First-Sail8421 · 2025-02-09T05:48:29+00:00

If you are in FL, MO, or KY you have a presumption for 50/50. Elsewhere be prepared to fight tooth and nail unless your wife agrees. You may need a guardian ad litem to determine you are not Hannibal Lecter, which is very expensive. The child support goes way down for mom with 50/50, so they will allege falsehoods to keep you away from your children. I lived it.

smartalec-71 · 2025-02-09T03:12:02+00:00

I'm going for 3/7, and that's every th-fr and alternate weekends. I get the kids during the week, and alternate weekends lets me see my childless friends on alternate weekends.

The farther from 50%… someone's going to owe child support.

IceCreamMan1977 · 2025-02-08T19:13:14+00:00

Look up “parenting schedules” or “custody schedules” for ideas.

7-7 (week on week off)

5-2-2-5. This is what I have. Also called 2-2-5-5.

3-4-4-3

2-2-3

14-14 (two weeks on, two weeks off)

etc

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-02-08T18:37:31+00:00

It can be state dependent. Most are moving to flat 50/50 (with one parent named primary for the purpose of 'home' for school registration) barring any insane issues. Some will mandate the primary get 60+ to start IF there isnt an agreement made between the parents

General odds of 50/50: https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/research/dads-custody-time-by-state.php

Essentially if you're not in a default 50/50 state and your spouse is unreasonable, OR you are dealing with the inability to show you can exercise your parenting time, be ready for a fight.

Even if you're a complete boy scout, but you travel a bunch, work nights, have work schedules not lining up with school hours, live far away from your ex (and the school district) or VERY young kids (infant to 3-4yr) you might be awarded less than 50 at the start and have to go back and fight for more.

If you're lucky and live in one of the twenty 50/50 states you may not need to worry. IF you do not, hope your ex is not going to put up a battle.

Please know this can swing the OTHER way if MOM has insane hours, travels, or has issues with drugs/alcohol/etc.

Status-Buyer-7371 · 2025-02-08T18:33:49+00:00

Some judge decides it.

These lawyers and courts allege the law is unbiased and not sexist. They say the law is impartial, and 50/50 is the default arrangement these days.

That couldn't be father from the truth. At the beginning of the divorce process, the woman gets 100% custody automatically, and the dad can visit the kids at her discretion, possibly with supervision. It's just blatant sexism that totally makes a mockery of the courts pretense of equality. The mom could be an unemployed homeless heroin addict dating a child molester, it doesnt matter. Automatic custody for the woman. If you want to increase your custody and have parental rights, you have to fight for months in court for them. If you're lucky, you can cut a deal, meditate, or the judge happens to feel like being cool... And you can get 50/50 at best

A woman can easily get a free lawyer to represent her. No man can get a free lawyer, you're gonna pay out the ass for every legal action. Lawyers and courts want to drag it out as long as possible, to make you pay using your kids as leverage until you have absolutely nothing left. They don't actually care about the well-being of your kids.

Your stbxw is incentivized to fight you for more custody. The more custody you have, the more $ the other person has to pay. It's a winner take all system, whoever wins the kids also gets paid by the loser for doing so. Women don't really care about the kids either, they're seeing dollar signs

Also, you have to take a ridiculous divorce co-parenting ethics class. The whole divorce process undermines everything they say in that course, and does exactly what the class says will hurt the kids.

You have to really love your kids to go through all that. The end result is "winning" the privilege of being a responsible parent, and stopping the powers that be from fucking up your kids.

It really comes down to the judge though. They have way too much unaccountable power. They can just not like you and say fuck it, you get every other weekend. The idea 50/50 is default or the courts are fair is a joke

InternJimmy07 · 2025-02-08T16:50:48+00:00

Isn't a straight forward answer. Kids ages, state you live in, who's got the better lawyer and how does litigation go way to many variables

In my case it's now going on 2 years that I'm fighting for 50/50 we have a temp order in NJ for 60/40 but my child is only 4 i refuse to sign that so I'll fight until all options are exhausted.

Title	50/50 custody versus other options?
Author	Affectionate_Break11
Upvotes	4
Comments	10
Date	February 8, 2025 4:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ikr1mv/5050_custody_versus_other_options/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/5050-custody-versus-other-options.1543308 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543308

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