7 months post break up

Flat-Tour8210 · 2026-06-21T03:10:16+00:00

Honestly it’s so god damn hard.
I just can’t seem to move forward, the memories etc
The kids without their mum… I dunno anymore

Worldly_Diver9265 · 2026-06-20T23:59:28+00:00

Listen to me! Shes already checked out, and she's not coming back. You absolutely have to accept this, and picture your life without her. It takes 6 -12 months to get past this. You are on your way only when you accept ITS OVER!!!!!!!! Woman get over it fast, cause theyve usually have checked out long before. Their regrets may or may not come later, believe me. In the long run, men can fair better. It is very hard to find a good man. You're problem, you dont know your worth. Your healing begins in your mind. Be your own best friend. Pamper yourself. Join a gym, transform. Learn to love being alone and do things by yourself, museums, sporting events, restaurants, walks, pubs, etc.... whatever you love to do. SPOIL YOURSELF....great tickets, great cuts of beef, trips, whatever floats your boat. DO IT! Doing things by yourself builds and shows confidence. Confidence is unbelievably attractive, but it must be genuine. Trust me. Re-invent yourself, be who YOU want to be. The love of your life is out there waiting to meet you. That can't, and won't happen, until you have fully healed. The longer you take to heal, the longer you will keep the trye love of your life waiting. Please, please, please, believe me, your story will have a happy ending! Drop me a line when it does! I love saying I told you so!!!!

Flat-Tour8210 · 2026-06-20T21:58:26+00:00

Thanks all,
Some days are easy, some are not. I have started to see someone. Which is nice but I have found I still miss what I had. It’s very hard. My exs mum and family have said some nasty stuff to me. My biggest what if is if I just shut my mouth yes I would have been unhappy, but nothing compares to this. It feels like a nightmare to be honest. My ex wife knows of this new girl I’m seeing. Just because we were friends for a long time.
We will see what happens.
But far out this is hard

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-06-16T16:05:32+00:00

You gotta respect her wishes. However, you absolutely HAVE to not let the threat of taking the kids stand. That's what you fight on.

Let her get run through. She's over you.

Focus on being a Dad and improve yourself in every facet.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-06-16T16:00:55+00:00

Start dating other women and you'll quickly see your wife is not unique. My ex is 40 and I've talked to girls as young as 21 and figured out they were more mature than my ex of 18 years.

I was just blind or accepted a lot of her flaws and shortcomings because I loved her and had the sunk cost fallacy, or maybe even more stupid - scarcity mindset that she is "special". Once she discarded me like trash for another all the love I had for her died overnight. Just date and experience new things, you'll never truly move on until you do as she is dating and you are not which would hurt any man, you feel unwanted, unchosen and discarded until someone else wants you.

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-06-16T15:18:11+00:00

Chasing someone who left is pointless. It actually makes things worse. Ask me how I know.

EmbarrassedAge7612 · 2026-06-16T14:51:16+00:00

Don’t ever stay with someone for the kids sake. Keep doing what you are doing and be a good dad. Focus on healing. Don’t worry about the next relationship or what she’s doing. Keep your focus on you and the kids.

I stayed in a marriage because of my kids. All I did was make myself miserable and pretty much anyone around me. My kids were so relieved when we told them we were divorcing. They were just as miserable as we were.

TheSteveSteward · 2026-06-16T13:48:25+00:00

You probably won’t get her back. Even if you do, your best path forward is to let go of your attachment to her.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-06-16T13:38:11+00:00

Similar story for me, 3 kids under 12. I just let her go and gave her what she asked for and in the legal separation phase still, after 8 months. Haven’t seen her since, it’s drop and go for the kid exchanges. I miss the family unit but you can’t control other people’s decisions. I never even got closure. I wish you peace.

TeddyPSmith · 2026-06-16T13:31:51+00:00

The only way she would come back is if she saw a version of you that was so much better than the version she knew that it made her feel like she made a mistake.

She won’t come back bc of memories, honor, or duty. It’s sad to say. They are running purely on emotion.

dpi2024 · 2026-06-16T12:35:35+00:00

My advice is this: it's over, accept it. Minimize all interactions with her and greyrock. Ideally, communicate through the parenting app. She cannot take away your kids really unless you really royally fucked up (they are not safe when with you for example), it will likely be a 50/50 custody arrangement. Take a forward-looking mindset: how do I build my life now from scratch? Think about the future, not the past. She did you a favor.

If anything, get angry at her. Separating without divorce and jumping into another relationship is pretty close to cheating. Think about it this way: she breaks up, screws the other guy, then comes back when it did not work out. Will you take her back? If yes, she essentially received a go ahead on cheating from you, including in the future. This is just not compatible with your self-respect.

RalphWastoid319 · 2026-06-16T12:08:10+00:00

My experience is that once a woman has made up their mind, you are not going to change it. As hard as it sounds, you have to accept and come to grips with your marriage being over. Perhaps talk to a third party like a therapist to work through what you can't get over. It's hard, really hard. It took me a couple of years to fully get through everything after my wife left.

darmitage55 · 2026-06-18T14:36:24+00:00

Seven months with three little ones and a 50/50 split is brutal. You're not weak for still feeling this, that's just love that hasn't found somewhere else to go yet.

But man, the reconciling talk while she's moved on and threatening custody? That path is only going to hurt you. Your kids need you steady right now. That's where the energy goes.

Title	7 months post break up
Author	Flat-Tour8210
Upvotes	6
Comments	21
Date	June 16, 2026 12:01 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1u7bj2a/7_months_post_break_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/7-months-post-break-up.1582941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582941

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