In the 10+ years together she's always had one foot out the door, and I feel like I've always just been used as a means to give her kids, provide financial security and as an escape from her controlling parents. She came close to leaving when she had an emotional affair and considered leaving then, but stayed when it became apparent he only wanted an affair.

We have 3 kids under 10, and I've been ignoring red flags for their sake, to keep the peace etc, but as the saying goes "men sacrifice happiness for family, women sacrifice family for happiness" she's made the decision for divorce. The catch is that she wants it in 3 years time when our youngest is in school and she's found a full time job (currently looking for part time after being out of work for 5 years). Housing crisis is also a factor.

This works out financially for me as it will be more of an equitable split of assets, but I'm concerned about the toll on my mental health having this over my head for 3 years. Even just this morning the passive aggression is in full force.