Day 4, just need to write

nomohydro · 2026-04-01T18:21:54+00:00

so sorry brother it's horrible still deeply love her

was a wrestler and boxer...worst pain of my life was losing her. feels like losing a limb

Shot-Lingonberry-804 · 2026-04-01T15:39:07+00:00

I'm just over a month in. There are good moments and bad moments. The bad will outweigh the good. It was only yesterday that I truly came to terms that she is done, that there is no good in me talking to her, texting her, etc. I had a scary traffic incident late last week, out of habit she was the first person I reached out to. Her response was cold and calculated. It took a few days to sink in. She doesn't love me anymore, that's over. So yesterday I decided that I am not going to connect with her unless I have to. It won't be easy, I will be tempted. But I just know every contact I make will push her away further, and will only make things harder for me in the long run. I didn't choose this but I can choose to move on in my own way. Hang in there.

Always-tolkein · 2026-04-01T15:14:16+00:00

I’m in the same boat man. I torture myself every day trying to get her back. Keeping a little distance helps me stop doing that, but it’s not always easy. Find distractions. Stop begging. It’s ok to share your feelings, but you’re honestly just pushing her away more. I’ll send you a link for some reading to help. Keep your head up and dm anytime you need someone to talk to. I hate seeing other guys going through the same thing I am.

koolllG_uy1911 · 2026-04-01T10:40:11+00:00

Brother I hear you.. but you gotta stop.

Your mind is racing, constantly. You can’t work, think, do your normal things like you used to.

Stop contacting her, her fuel right now is you reaching out. Once you stop, she might feel something.

If she doesn’t then that’s not a human worth pursuing.

Zenyquyen · 2026-04-01T08:32:24+00:00

No one has found a cure for the pain. But time will fill the holes eventually. You're gonna need to be strong as hell until then. It's doable even if you don't want to do it. The only thing you have to do for the time being, every day , is just survive. That's it. You'll win in the long run and you , me , your future self , and your new future family whatever that looks like are gonna be so fucken proud of you man. Fight the good fight. Every day , you just need to survive to the next day.

ebmattman69 · 2026-04-01T02:25:58+00:00

7 months in for me, same situation. Ex wife wanted space, given, wanted me to go to therapy to work on my trauma, done, in the end the goalposts moved and I was fighting a ghost. It feels like death and in a way it is but invest this time in yourself. Grieve, find self help for the issues she always said you had, invest in activities that fill your soul (old and new) and let fate decide what will happen. Whatever you do stop texting, you look desperate and are pushing her away more. Stay grounded

Soggy_Sound_000 · 2026-04-01T02:22:51+00:00

Has she agreed to reconciling? Marriage counseling? She even open to talking about the issues? If not you have to prepare yourself and move on. If she does want to work it out give yourself a deadline. If you schedule an appointment will she attend it? If you go and it becomes “this is a waste of my time” then what?

Will she put things off and fail to meet you halfway? If you feel like this will be her energy moving through this then you have to let it go. Process the emotions, use your support network. Work on yourself go to the gym, hobbies. Don’t waste any of your time remembering the good times or any of that. Yes you need to grieve but don’t get caught up with the will she pick me bullshit. In the end she will probably choose herself and you’ll be better off.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-04-01T02:16:04+00:00

Same for me. The hardest thing I had to do was go ‘no contact’ except for the kids. It’s just an awful journey bc I didn’t want it either but she gave up. It’s a roller coaster, I have bad days and worse days, that’s it. I miss my kids, I miss the family we created together. Good luck, send me a message anytime if you need to vent

Title	Day 4, just need to write
Author	SaltDuck8450
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	March 31, 2026 5:30 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1s8u2zc/day_4_just_need_to_write/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/day-4-just-need-to-write.1576869 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576869

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