Divorce advice

shadderjax · 2023-06-26T04:03:35+00:00

Find a good lawyer and don’t forget to ask for alimony.

folie-a-dont · 2023-06-26T04:30:03+00:00

We need to rally around this type of dude. This is r/divorce_men not r/divorcerollsofmen

Positive-Neck-1997 · 2023-06-26T05:24:34+00:00

First step is to realize that your life as you know it is going to change a lot, and you need to put your needs first. Think about your future self and use that mindset to guide your decisions.

On a more practical note, focus on your kids. I am unsure if it matters that they are adopted, but make sure you do what’s best for them. Get a lawyer, secure assets as best you can, gather and secure as many official docs as possible (especially everything related to adoption), and focus any energy possible on getting a reasonably fair divorce as fast and inexpensive as possible.

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-06-26T07:47:25+00:00

If it's amicable, see about hiring a mediator to help you file and develop a settlement agreement. (You can still have a lawyer advise you during your mediation or have one look over the final settlement.)

If it not amicable, make an appointment to visit a divorce lawyer. They will help you get started and walk you through the entire process. This will likely be far more costly than mediation.

If you're broke, some courts will assist you with filing the paperwork, but it can get pretty complicated.

If you're in a state that requires physical separation before you can divorce, you can file for temporary orders (with your lawyer's help). These can help establish temporary financial and custody orders while you work through your divorce.

But in a nutshell, that's how you get started.

ComfortableKey6864 · 2023-06-26T16:11:53+00:00

Sorry to hear, your life is going to change, take your time and be nice to yourself. If it amicable I would still get your own lawyer. I base that on personal experience though, your results may vary from mine. Good luck and again take your time to grieve and take good care of yourself. Get a counselor to talk and to help cope. It took me awhile to get over it and didn’t take care of myself, wallowed in self pity. Now I’m doing a lot better.

Gattsama · 2023-06-26T05:17:41+00:00

I sent you a DM

PutInternational5252 · 2023-06-26T05:47:59+00:00

figure out who you are. best case scenario you are going to be a part time dad, and if your only identity is father you are in for a hell you can't imagine.

make sure you are primary account holder and not authorized user on all your accounts.

DueSuggestion6670 · 2023-06-27T02:33:06+00:00

Is she intiating? Lawyer up. Find a good one. Don't give in to things thinking it will make the process smoother. I and so many other guys do that and it almost never works. Emotionally be prepared to be wrecked. All I can say there is it gets better with time. She is no longer the woman you know. Try, and I know its hard, to look at this as an unemotional accountant. Take everything your accountant says you are entitled to. If you feel like you got too much you can deal with that later but for now get what is yours.

DivorceCoachMarcin · 2023-06-27T02:56:05+00:00

Www.coachmarcin.com

Facers70 · 2023-06-27T04:11:20+00:00

You are divorcing. This means you need to be loyal to YOURSELF, not her.
Get a lawyer. Listen to the lawyer.

Title	Divorce advice
Author	tiny8192
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	June 26, 2023 3:32 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14j5zp6/divorce_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-advice.1223546 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223546

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