Explaining Not Getting Married?

MGTOWayoflife · 2021-08-02T14:24:55+00:00

Say you want to get married but the divorce laws make it impossible. Blame everyone and everything else.

Tall-Fig-3327 · 2021-08-02T13:14:01+00:00

For me, no explanation needed. This would be something I state to front, if you want to be married one day, I am not the one.

crypto_keeper88 · 2021-08-02T13:37:53+00:00

Just say that you want a relationship based on love and not on money, kids, property etc. Marriage complicates a relationship and people marry or stay in the relationship for many other reasons that have nothing to do with love. You want to keep the finances separate so when the love fades it's easy to separate and go your own way. Most relationships don't last longer than 7 years...

sicrm · 2021-08-02T15:09:16+00:00

the bigger issue is what she does after you tell her.

some will eventually break up with you, or she’ll try to get pregnant and hope that changes your mind.

CantCopeAnymore24 · 2021-08-02T13:27:37+00:00

People tend to give advice to others what they would give to their younger selves. You need to take in several opinions and make the decision for yourself. The general opinion here would be anti marriage because it didnt work out for them in particular. For me, the biggest mistake in my life was staying in my marriage 3 years longer when I knew better and had an exit.

I'm not anti-marriage. If you find the right person, it could be the single greatest aspect of your life. Here are some objective things I've learned after being in one.

A divorce isnt even on the same planet compared to breaking up with a girlfriend. This means that people stay together longer when they wouldn't be otherwise.

Finances. What's yours is hers and what's hers is yours. You would need to find a system that works for you. It's very common that a woman would spend your money for her happiness, but absolutely not universal.

Im out of time, but if you consider marriage, consider love and your feelings, but you also need to consider whether you would want this person to be your coworker, or your friend, or someone you would lend money to.

thuguelet · 2021-08-02T15:08:14+00:00

Marriage is something you need to be in agreement with. Not a right or wrong thing. Just a compatability issue.

If she wants to be married and you don't, it will likely eventually be a deal breaker if she can't change your mind.

SlainFunicle · 2021-08-02T15:48:32+00:00

A part from getting your name everything else become more complicated, I would ask her what marriage people can do that we can't? Divorce lose every thing (more than half), lose the kids, Child support, if she cheats and get pregnant while married you are responsible no matter what (dad by default), if the love dies you have to pay. This is not her first relationship so there is no way of know it will last no one is a prophet or can predict the future it is better to be safe than sorry, ask her if she knows what the divorce rate is?

DoctorVonBacon · 2021-08-02T21:46:40+00:00

You don't need a piece of paper to love and care for someone.

2021Bamaboy · 2021-08-02T13:43:44+00:00

I’m Divorced and Do want to get married again. I want to have another chance at it. But, if the woman who loves me wants to just live together …I would think about that also. Marriage is a ritual . And I believe a ring means a lot . But…being together and having a real love relationship and depending on each other and giving Yourself to one another in every way..and knowing who your heart belongs to…is that not a marriage? If You give yourself to one person and deny everyone else…you become that “other half”. You make each other whole. You don’t need a ceremony , a ring, or even a license …that’s a marriage .

kapriece · 2021-08-02T19:30:39+00:00

If she can't get over it...leave. Don't ever let anyone pressure you into a contract where you will lose half your shit and end up paying for hers. The court system is where most marriages end up. Also ask her if she knows how to be a wife. Most women just want the ceremony, pictures, bragging rights, etc. But don't want to fulfill the role. They play nice then bait and switch you. You are the prize and will lose your leverage of you do. Some of the men here are paying astronomical amount of alimony.

Beneficial-Path5856 · 2021-08-02T22:16:07+00:00

I don't think any explanation you give will suffice and make her back off. That is because modern day marriage is a sham disguised as a romantic gesture.

She will say things like "don't you love me?", "All my friends are getting married", "I've wanted to be married since I was a girl", etc.

But the truth is, marriage is not about love, it's about power and money. She knows that if you sign the paperwork, she gains huge leverage over you. You become her meal ticket. She can't say that, because then the jig is up, and you would be an idiot to enter that kind of proposition.

I am jaded, yes, but that is how I see the world.

iamnobodybut · 2021-08-03T04:13:39+00:00

She doesn't want to marry you. She wants to marry. Get it? She needs a safety net.

pegleg_legal · 2021-08-03T05:36:37+00:00

Marriage is the assumption for any serious relationship, so if you've gotten serious without laying that on the table - pretty unfair and you should expect some pain, anger and disappointment - if not a break up.

Title	Explaining Not Getting Married?
Author	DisciplineImportant6
Upvotes	11
Comments	20
Date	August 2, 2021 1:08 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/owe5un/explaining_not_getting_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/explaining-not-getting-married.816348 https://theredarchive.com/post/816348

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