Signed papers yesterday and finalized today. I know it is for the best, but still causing me some mourning, but also kind of numb. I know my kids are resilient and will get through this, but I dreamt of them growing up in a single home. I wish she had wanted to fight for it at all at any point. I wish I was worth fighting for. I hate that she is still so flat and indifferent. Eight month process, and never a hint of sadness, anger, or even joy. Just zero emotion, after 14 years together. I still hope she grows eventually and overcomes her traumas that keep her from intimacy and growth. I feel I have changed and grown after our decision, and I'll continue to do so. I'm hoping still I can someday have some healthy partnership, but I think I'll be okay if it doesn't. I can't say I regret it, we made two wonderful kids, and experienced many major life events together. But it's hard not regret the emotional connection I wasted on someone who was only halfway in it with me.
Just wanted to vent a little. This has been a good group to just let it out sometimes, thanks all.
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