Hi guys. I'm looking for some advice here because I am at my wits end and don't know what to do.

I made the huge mistake of not immediately getting a divorce when my ex and I separated almost 20 years ago. In the intervening period, I have drawn up papers a few times but each time she has rejected them.

She believes it is "my" responsibility to file for the divorce - and that I must do so with an "at fault" divorce for adultery. (Even though we had agreed to an open marriage before we split.)

Okay, fine. At this point, I am willing to allow for that.

The thing is that I moved out of the USA and I now live abroad - and have for almost 20 years. She ALSO moved out of the USA and went to a different country than me. So, neither of us lives in the USA where we were originally married. (Although she goes back and forth and could theoretically file in the state we used to live in.)

But she categorically refuses to be the one to file.

Everywhere I have turned, it seems like my options are now stuck at me paying a lawyer something between $5,000 and $10,000 just to file and force the issue - and I have no way of paying that any time soon.

And she's threatening to smear me publically in the news and more as someone who "abandoned her" (at the time the split was mutual but I can't prove that). It just seems to me that she's just held a grudge for 20 years and is determined to make me pay in blood.

I seriously don't know what to do.

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