Help understanding why men get married

Bognin · 2019-04-03T20:09:54+00:00

In my case I had some notion that it would be better for the child if we were married. Total stupidity.

stevev916 · 2019-04-04T01:47:49+00:00

Does it really matter either way? If you want your gene pool to survive, two parents collaborating to raise offspring helps your chances. To do this... you must co-habitate with your mate.

If you DON'T co-habitate, local laws will make you pay child support.

If you DO co-habitate (without marriage), might not make much difference (local laws on palimony, common law marriage, etc)

HeSayYouBradeRunner · 2019-04-03T21:02:03+00:00

Do NOT get married. This is what I’ll be advising both of my kids.

BilboBagginhole · 2019-04-04T02:07:09+00:00

I wanted kids. I don't regret it at all. Being a Dad is one of the best things I have ever done. My STBX is a great mom too, and she wouldn't have a kid with me unless I married her.

I think marriage is stupid and thought that before I was married. You don't need to get married to have kids, but the woman I wanted to have kids with required it.

It is expensive though!

Now that I have my kids and I'm almost free, I will never get married again.

Super_Juicy_Muscles · 2019-04-03T19:34:09+00:00

None, it is better just to stay bf/gf and to never have kids, unless you like paying child support so your ex-has drinking money.

Atlantic_Hitchhiker · 2019-04-03T22:09:43+00:00

Honestly it just made life easier. We could share a medical plan, if anything happened to one of us, the other would automatically have a legal right to either make decisions for the other was ill or claim our possessions if one died. Adopting or fostering would have been easier.

And because it was what I was brought up to do when you wanted to share the rest of your life with someone.

Am I going to get married again? Probably, but I'm going to be damn sure more choosey and careful

IRunYourRiver · 2019-04-04T02:38:49+00:00

You get one or two Christmases where you feel like a good father from the 1950s. Then reality hits that it is 2019 and down you go. So, if falling into the depths is worth a few Hallmark moments to you, then definitely get married!

redveinlover · 2019-04-03T20:09:24+00:00

There is no realistic, legitimate reason. Disney, Hallmark and the rest of societal pressures are likely the main factor in men taking the plunge into eternal unhappiness. I'll never do it again, that's for sure. Fool me once...

throwaway_9876789876 · 2019-04-04T00:20:25+00:00

I let my family pressure me into getting married because my SO got pregnant. We ended up making it 18 years, but in the end I think it would have been better if we didn't register the marriage. It's funny, I askeduaelf this same question earlier today. There's an obvious tax benefit, but outside of that it doesn't do shit good for the man. I hope we get to a point where the idea of marriage doesnt include this as custom. Who knows

Assaultcow · 2019-04-04T04:45:22+00:00

After the hell that literally came from living with a woman for only one year and accidentally having a child together...likely not.

Here in Australia if you just live with a woman in 'married like conditions' it opens you up to litigation and the family court.

Can't think of many benefits other than pleasing your family and their religious needs. I'm sure it could probably work with the right partner but then people change with time.

Good luck!

asyrip · 2019-04-15T14:33:53+00:00

For myself it was for fidelity. She's had 2 affairs since we've been married and I was stupid enough to have her back after the first one. Marriage means nothing.

Ebon13 · 2019-07-15T18:18:48+00:00

Most men are guilted into marriage, plain and simple. A guy going out with a woman has very little to gain by marrying her with the exception of children. However, society, family, and the SO will make the guy feel like less of a man for "wasting her time", or "not manning up" and dedicating himself to her. In the end a lot of men are getting wise to the idea that that marriage industry is not in place for the benefit of men, but for the support of women.

imikeh · 2019-04-03T20:24:18+00:00

Only circumstance for marriage now are in order of priority,

Wife is already finically dependent
Not bat shit crazy
No PMS or anything close
Smoking hot
laughs at your jokes
Never once tells you what to do or how and when to do it.

And that my friend does not exist. Point 2 and 3 kills it.

fxdbmgtow · 2019-04-03T23:13:55+00:00

There's none, go your own way

Jadedclone · 2019-04-07T14:21:16+00:00

Because not being willing to marry limits your long term partner choices, is I think the real reason. Usually we meet someone and they pressure us and ‘everyone else is doing it’ and so we do too. Plus the Judeo-Christian dominated country perpetuates it. Mind you, I don’t think marriage is bad. It’s like a dog: you have to neuter it. That device is a prenup. It neuters the ability of the government to bend you over while your STBX humps away. Top shelf gals who can marry a millionaire aren’t going to date forever. But they will sign a prenup.

Title	Help understanding why men get married
Author	thegentlebenbear
Upvotes	11
Comments	28
Date	April 3, 2019 6:33 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/b91rtt/help_understanding_why_men_get_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-understanding-why-men-get-married.819641 https://theredarchive.com/post/819641

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