She's pushing to settle in mediation, which I'd rather do because we've thrown a lot at lawyers already and it's funded at least a year of college for their kids, all for nothing. I can't tell if she's trying to take me or if she's just being sloppy with her financial declarations. I know our finances pretty well and thought she did too, like every year at tax time I'd sit down and tell her what we had and plan out what we should save. In her initial court declarations she just didn't list her 401k but she put in statements for her stock options. I figure if that ever got to the judge she'd claim "oopsie". Now we sent a bunch of paperwork to the mediator and her 401k is light by about $50k (I was able to get the last statement so I know it's not a market loss) and she just didn't tell the mediator about the stock options. All told it's about $150k that's missing. My IRAs aren't worth as much cause dumb dumb suggested we max out her 401k and other retirement perks from her work since I was doing gig work and being SAHD for the past few years. Don't know what her angle is, and don't know how to handle it. We were going to try mediation without lawyers, so that to me is a red flag that her/her lawyer/other hens might have planned this. I want to believe she wants this to be done fast too though and just isn't organized.