How can I protect myself

upandatom85 · 2023-07-25T03:03:59+00:00

This is a copy pasta I share with everyone who needs it. Most of this will apply to you. If you think part of it does not apply just wait a bit... this is what is known as the list. Feel free to add to it. It will only help others.

Don't drink. It'll only hurt the situation. Trust me. You need to stay calm drinking will not help with this.

Do not lose your temper. If you do not stay calm you will lose. She wants you to get upset. She wants to be able to call the cops on you.

You can be darn sure she is going to try to get an EPO (emergency protection order) against you. All she has to say is there is escalating behavior and she is afraid for her life and boom. It'll cost you 10k minimum to fight it and have it thrown out.

Give your firearms to someone so she can't say that you threatened her. She may try to have your firearms taken away. It is difficult to get them back from the police.

Record every conversation and prepare for false domestic violence accusations (CUBE ACR records calls automatically and can also record on your phone in the background. Its free in the app store). Check your local laws regarding recording. An illegal recording proving you innocent is better than none at all.

She will try to provoke you to get you to say things to use against you. STAY CALM! RECORD EVERYTHING!

Lift heavy weights.

Walk. Daily.

Learn to meditate.

Get therapy. Honestly, it will help. No matter how tough you think you are we can all use a little help.

Change all passwords. INCLUDING YOUR PHONE! Mutual or not. Be sure she does not have access to your accounts of any sort. Get a new credit card. Fully separate finances. Figure out what you still need to pay and what is her fucking problem now.

She will try to clean out your account and will take anything she is able to. You need to prevent that. Chances are she is way ahead of you on this.

Secure important paperwork including tax information and anything she can use against you in a safe location.

She's 10 steps ahead of you. She's already told her friends/family/attorney. She's got big plans for your money and property.

She will try to get you out of the house. Do not leave your home! If she wants to end the relationship she can leave. If you are gone from the home she will claim abandonment and keep rights to the home.

Document every fucking thing. Keep a notebook in your phone(New safe password). Record interactions and important notes. Record all interactions. Women lie! Sucks, but it's true.

She will try to rewrite history. Things that happened will not have happened. What was said or done will not be the same as reality. This is called GASLIGHTING. Look it up and understand it! She will make you question your grip on reality. She will rewrite your history to make you the bad guy in her story, to justify what she is currently doing to you and what she has done to you.

If you're wondering if you need a lawyer then you needed one last month. Lawyers suck and are expensive. Get a good one.

Research GREY ROCK/180 METHOD, then implement It.

Research MONKEY BRANCHING and understand the female imperative. If she's leaving you she probably already has someone else. Sorry.

Research and understand BRIFFAULTS LAW.

Research and understand the LIGHT SWITCH EFFECT.

Research and understand DARVO TACTICS.

Look up FEMALIE SOLIPSISM.

This is a catch all list. It may or may not completely apply to you. Most of it will I'm sure. Good luck. Stay strong.

Books: the first one is a Canadian book!

-Surviving your divorce by Michael Cochrane

https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tFP1zc0Sso1K8tOMjdg9BIrLi0qyyzLzEtXqMwvLVJIySzLL0pOBQDu5g03&q=surviving+your+divorce&oq=surviving+your+&aqs=chrome.1.0i355i512j46i512j69i57j0i512j46i512l3j0i512j46i512.7999j1j4&client=ms-android-rogers-ca-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

NO MORE MR NICE GUY is a book you should read.

If she cheated.... check out LEAVE A CHEATER GAIN A LIFE. And/or CHEATING IN A NUTSHELL.

If anyone has any advice or info they would like to add to "the list" please let me know.

conker574 · 2023-07-25T01:48:35+00:00

Side note.... I live in Ontario Canada.

RunTheBull13 · 2023-07-25T03:06:05+00:00

The house is not considered marital property since it was her dad's. You may be able to get some or the increase in equity you caused while there. First thing, schedule lawyer consultations and talk to them about that.

DatabaseSpace · 2023-07-25T19:35:15+00:00

Well you definitely need a lawyer, but what happened here is that your wife and her dad kind of seem like grifters that have performed a long con scam on you via family law. That's how I look at it. A girl I'm dating did this to her ex husband where when the house was puchased it was the dad that bought and he put it in a trust to protect it from divorce. The ex husband had no claim on it whatsoever, he and the wife were just legally renters.

So what you did is put tons of money into another person's rental investment property. It probably felt like you weren't doing that because you were married and trusted this woman and believed your wedding vows, but they aren't real and you can't trust people. I had a house I just put thousands into with remodling the kitchen, landscaping, all of the normal housing expenses, did a lot of work on the yard every weekend. Nobody cares. The closing costs, down payments, all of it were just lost because my 40 yr old wife wanted to be like YOLO and chaase a 26 year old that didn't even like her.

I know 40k is a lot but that money is probably gone and now a sunk cost. She is definitely also scamming you by waiting for you to get a new higher paying job to leave. I don't think she can force you out of the house because it's the marital residence, even if her dad owns it. You need a lawyer like yesterday though. Hopefully you can get out of alimony because of common law, I'm not sure how all of that works.

jimsmythee · 2023-07-25T21:35:57+00:00

Here is the deal. Yes on the child support based on both incomes. No way around that.

As for the improvements you made on the house? It's in her dad's name. Unless you can show you made house payments? Don't bother trying to get anything back on it. You've been paying "rent" on it. That's it.

Title	How can I protect myself
Author	conker574
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	July 25, 2023 1:47 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/158u3sz/how_can_i_protect_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-can-i-protect-myself.1226403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226403

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