This is probably the scariest advice I ever asked for, but how do I gain the courage of telling my wife I want a divorce and actually going through with it?

To give a quick picture of the situation: we have been married for 14 years, together 16. Have children together and a house. Our relationship however, has been a roller-coaster with many low points.

During these past 14 years, we've been separated, talked to counselors,and I even had divorce paperwork ready...but with the family that we built, the fear of what would happen with our relationship with our kids, our kids in general, and the fact that I still care for her, I couldn't go through with it before...but very often do I think about it.

So I am curious, for the men, that finally had enough. What gave you the courage to finally go through with it?