I'm having trouble trusting ANYONE after my ex had several affairs with her coworkers and one was a good friend of mine.

There is also a situation with a friend that I work with who betrayed my trust.

My ex had an affair for 6 months before I learned about it. Shortly before this happened, she had come to me saying she wasn't satisfied sexually or emotionally with our relationship. We drifted apart as her career forced her to travel a lot. I was at home caring for our newborn daughter while she traveled with her coworkers. After she communicated her dissatisfaction, I tried to have more date nights, schedule to have someone watch our child while we went out and did things together. We started having more sex and the spark was sort of coming back at least imo.

During this time, she was acting very happy as well. Lots more affection, not as grumpy...etc. But then I found out about the affair by discovering lingerie in her suitcase and how the affair was adding to her happiness during this time. Because of this, I felt extra betrayed and hurt. I tried hard to make things better and she had told me point blank that she was happier.

I had become good friends with her one coworker whom I actually asked about my suspicions. He said he also was suspicious and was supportive emotionally for me. Then I learned through my ex, that he was also hitting on her, touching her, kissed her a few times and talking to her about sexual things.

My brain is constantly searching my memories for things I may have missed when I hung out with her and her coworkers. I still feel stupid and don't know why I thought it was okay that she hang out with them all the time.

To complicate things, I had a supportive female friend at work that was basically my emotional lifeboat through all this. She saw me struggling and asked how I was doing, constantly checked in on me, asked me to grab lunch a lot and have drinks after work. She really was an amazing friend through it all and I owe my life to her. She doesn't know it, but she helped through several suicidal situations.

I learned this friend had been gossiping about me and telling others about the situation with my ex and also saying how she feels uncomfortable around me and am terrible to work with. But even to this day she is still acting like the good friend from before to me and asking me out to drinks, texting me memes, asking how I'm doing and generally being a caring person.

Because of all this crap, I have severe trust issues. I am in constant paranoia that they are lying to me or trying to use me on some level. I can't let others close to me or have meaningful relationships anymore because of all these things. I've dated several women since the split and I have self sabotaged all of them. I end up thinking they're doing something with someone else or they don't really feel the way they say they do...etc.

Has anyone else gone through something similar and come out better on the other side? How do I get back to a trusting and lasting relationship?