I miss her

SingleISuppose · 2020-02-07T18:41:01+00:00

you've got this man. your marriage was abusive, and toxic. It wasn't healthy. Use today to motivate yourself to become a better person. Join a gym! work out! you can do better for yourself.

you know it's the right thing.

Oronoguy · 2020-02-07T19:52:56+00:00

Do you miss her or do you just have terrible low self-esteem? It's something to consider and not meant as a dig or insult at all.. been in those shows and met someone that treated me like a human being and realized it was a self-esteem thing.

Gingercaptain · 2020-02-08T02:42:24+00:00

I’m in the same boat man. Create a solid support system to help keep you strong. They may never know what you’ve been through but if they know it can give some accountability to stay strong when days like today happen.

You could make a list of the opportunities ahead of you, kind of a divorce bucket list. Did she abuse your personal relationships? Reconnect with people or build new friendships. Did she ruin or take away a hobby? Start it again. Did she ruin holidays or vacations regularly? Book a trip even a local stay somewhere to stay cheap but change your surroundings for a night. I’ve found a lot of power in this. Stay strong brother.

SpearCatcher1 · 2020-02-07T19:22:53+00:00

Everybody has needs, but you know now she isn't the answer. Make your plan to build a better life, and stick with it day by day. Work on it, focus on the positive things. Help someone in need.

JasonInNJ · 2020-02-07T20:35:51+00:00

The contortionist misses the steamer trunk too. You need to adjust. Don’t rush it. It will happen.

FastEdge · 2020-02-08T02:14:05+00:00

Brother I hear you. Furthermore, I understand and empathize with you.
It's been three years since my separation, and, like you, I am completely aware of how terrible we where together. Yet, I still miss her.
The her that wasn't awful. Those beautiful moments that brought us together in the first place play out in my mind regularly. And that's okay. Just recognize that what you are missing are memories. Filtered by hope. Condensed by loneliness and polished by time. Lovely memories, to be sure, but nothing more.
It will take time to find yourself again, but believe me, you are in there. The real you, free of dependencies and ready to thrive. I wish you luck, strength and happiness.

CompSci1 · 2020-02-08T03:25:24+00:00

Not divorced but same boat man... Same boat. Be strong. Every time you resist that urge you take back a little bit of yourself.

yeehaw1005 · 2020-02-08T04:30:18+00:00

Be strong and man up. I have been there, man. It sucks but you got to move on. The first year is the worst, but you got this.

yeehaw1005 · 2020-02-08T14:23:52+00:00

It’s an expression that includes removing all emotion. This is a stereotype that is most common with men. It’s not saying you are not going to feel, sigh, or cry. But to move forward you have to accept what it is and take it a day at a time. Life is going to continue with or without you.

Another way of looking at it is from the standpoint of an accountant, where everything is black and white and a matter of fact. Don’t waste your time trying to make sense of everything. You admitted that the relationship is unhealthy, toxic, and not right. She closed the joint bank account, and the two of you are separated — those are two actions that does not say love.

The moment I realized my marriage was over was when I looked into my ex wife’s eyes and didn’t see love anymore. I was ignorant to all the signs prior to and was too tired to put any effort into the relationship after that. I don’t encourage divorce, but when you know, you know.

If you absolutely do not want a divorce, admit to your shortcomings and the two of you seek credible counseling. People have shown that they can change, and time has shown that circumstances will change. If you have a woman who is down with you and you can trust, the two of you can take over the world. If not, move on and go find your Bonnie.

Title	I miss her
Author	yeehaw1005
Upvotes	13
Comments	22
Date	February 7, 2020 6:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/f0ek5k/i_miss_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-miss-her.818644 https://theredarchive.com/post/818644

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