Hey, guys.

I’m here for the reason that we’re all here — divorce.

I’m at the very beginning of it all, just as the title says.

My (I guess, soon-to-be ex) wife has been actively seeking a divorce since July of 2023. In that time, I feel like I’ve just about jumped through every single hoop that I’ve had to.

Therapy for myself, couples therapy (of which she had no interest or desire to participate in) and trying to be what I assume in her mind is the version of myself that she loved — even though I do still feel like that guy, just a bit older.

Well, long story short, it clearly did not work. She has now retained a mediator and is filing for divorce. I’ve asked her if we could try a trial separation, or legal separation as I’m assuming it may be less traumatic for our daughter (3) but that doesn’t seem to be of any interest to her either — not much of what comes out of my mouth is anymore.

I guess it just doesn’t feel real for me — in the time which I spent trying to be the best Dad and husband I could, while dealing with what life was handing outside of this, she was actively meeting with and vetting attorneys, and had truly zero interest in ever reconciling with me at all.

I know what I have to do, but, I don’t want to do it, if that makes any sense to you all — I’m sure it sounds cowardly.

I want to run from it, which again, is cowardly, but I could never do leave or do anything to make my daughter feel upset and I’d never want her to not know where I am.

Finding an attorney or mediator myself, while the correct thing to do, makes it all feel a little too real.

Any advice? Or anything to watch out or prepare for?