Is this ok?

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-12-19T09:14:00+00:00

Ask for Alimony & Child Support, you are "the Man in the house" is just 101 manipulation to feel you guilty to ask for it.
If situation were reversed, she would have asked

DedInside_6 · 2024-12-18T15:59:41+00:00

Why do you have separate finances? Is one of you a spender? Should still have joint play money after household bills, savings, debt payments, etc. life is too short to make good money and live like you’re poor.

I wonder what her side of the story would be.

If you’re just as much of a saver as she is and really on the same page with your financial values, then just sounds like she is being a bit cruel.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-12-18T15:42:50+00:00

Or i am "the man of the house" and is not her fault thati dont make too much money

Your labor as a sahd allowed her to work and further her career and make what she did. unless you sent the kids to a sitter/with family and spent all day and night out partying, any argument that is made that you're not due anything is BS.

DO NOT entertain any of the 'be a man' or 'you dont get child support' comments. If the roles were flipped she would absolutely be seeking it. And you SHOULD seek it because, frankly, you will need it. Child support is so the kids have an equitable life and both homes and spousal support is there so you can get back on your feet and back into the workforce.

soontobesolo · 2024-12-18T15:10:26+00:00

Not OK.

If divorce is even remotely a possibility, start strategizing and preparing NOW.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/

If she makes more than you, and you are at 50/50 custody (or better), she'll be paying you child support. You can also get alimony and half of all marital assets. Talk to a lawyer quietly.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-12-18T15:04:38+00:00

The pronoun you are looking for is “we”

We have xyz money. Half of that is yours. We have xyz household income. And you’re entitled to maintain similar after divorce, hence the need for you to receive spousal support.

Don’t believe me? Post in r/divorce with a throwaway account and reverse the genders.

Exactly65536 · 2024-12-18T14:56:40+00:00

That may be okay, may be not. Subject to the agreement between you two.

50:50 is fair. Proportional to the income is fair. Fixed contribution is fair. If she promised to support you while you care of the kids and then stopped, that's not fair - because you agreed to one thing and she went back on her promise.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2024-12-18T14:33:33+00:00

How much more money does she make then you? If you have separate accounts, a good way to split the bills is based on a percentage of income rather than 50/50. She makes 80% of the total family money, she pays 80% of the bills.

Slowloris81 · 2024-12-18T14:18:15+00:00

You need to consult a lawyer in your jurisdiction. But generally speaking the money she made during the marriage is a marital asset subject to equitable distortion (i.e., you get your fair share, typically 50%) regardless of how she characterizes it. Sounds like her descriptions are total BS and have no legal significance whatsoever.

Title	Is this ok?
Author	Glittering-Spell-446
Upvotes	7
Comments	9
Date	December 18, 2024 2:11 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hh2ena/is_this_ok/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-this-ok.1538872 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538872

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