Hello everyone. I've been reading this group for a few months now and wanted to finally share my story.
Mostly to just vent, but I would also like advice on moving on and any input please!

I'll try to keep this short and summarized. It is crazy, i know...

Currently in the process of paperwork for divorce + house split

I'm 30 year old male, I've been dating my 'high school' sweetheart for 12 years or so.
We bought a house together 5 years ago
Recently got married. been married for 1 year or so.

She had an affair with me with another guy about 4 months after we got married....
It was multiple times sexually, but alot of it was emotional / bonding / time together.
My wife just got a new bike (yes a super bike) and that's when issues started, about 4 months after wedding.

She would ride pretty much everyday. During these few months of riding. she met a new biker friend, had an affair behind my back. She would WANt to spend more time with her Affair partner instead of me.
It didn't matter how much i loved her, to took care of her, or forgave or tried.
For me, during this absence of her, it obviously caused issued with quality time together and brought tons of issues of 'me wanting her, but bike > me' so I felt 2nd. It just got worse and worse: As in I wanted to spend time with her sooo much. nearly would beg her to just work and come home to spend it with me, instead of ride her bike / be with him, but she stated hundreds of time, the bike is more important than being with me.

After I caught her with the affair, we tried to 'rebuild'. Well mostly just me, but she agreed to 'just a friend him' and see if i will work out with her.
But that didn't work. She Refused to 'no contact' her affair partner.
They would still see each other in person atleast 2-4 days a week.
Like almost nothing changed that she got caught. I don't remember any actions or proof that she is 'pushing away from him'
it ate my alive being alone, thinking about whats shes doing and when she is coming back to our house. every time, every hour.
but always said the same BS 'he's just a friend now'
(How insane, he's not just a friend, u guys fucked. U can't just turn that switch off and be a friend all of a sudden)
Anyways, i didn't want to lose her, I was 'blinded by love' so I let them 'just be friends'.
And hoped and hoped that was true.
After about a month of that, we both hated it.
I hated how I couldn't trust her. I didn't believe it and the stress and worrying was terrible.
She hated how I would always ask about him. (and i would if she did no contact)

It got to the point that she threw me this bullshit.
'we need a break for a few months.' as in, find an apartment, we work on ourselves separately and then meet back up to see if we want to keep trying.
also, it was 'move out or we divorce right now'
She thought a bit of time alone would somehow help us.
And of course, thats the last thing i wanted. It was heart breaking to hear this.
Even though she cheated on me and lied:
I was so 'in love' and willing to work past it and figure it all out.
So I moved out to an apartment, because i thought well I want to be married to her forever. And it's either a few months apart or forever, so i moved out. It was so painful that she WANTED me to move out.

I've been at my apartment alone with little contact with her.
During these months, it was Super Clear i was the Only one trying to fix us.
She pretty much gave up.
Also, she made it clear her Affair partner is now her boyfriend after about a month of being 'alone'
. funny, imagine that.

Fast forward to today, her boyfriend moved in with her. and it just hurts.
(Keep in mind we are still married. I lived there 5 months ago and the house is still in Our names. atleast for a few more weeks. )

Fast forward to now, I just need HELP.

I know she was Terrible to me. I know my life with her would be messy and not worth.

I am just so Hurt that our 12 year relationship, + being married for a bit.
She was able to kick me out, AND REPLACE me with another guy that quick.
5 months length. from 'lets take a break and no divorce' to 'divorce and also found a Serious boyfriend'
And have him move in to 'my old house;'
the same bed i held her 5 months ago. now she willing is doing with another guy. same house, same bed.

I try to 'see it from her point of view / brain' and honestly I cannot.

It just hurts so much to feel so quickly forgotten and replaced. Without her showing any guilt or remorse.
(and also not being there for me, mentally during all of this)

The almost zero length alone, she had to 'be sad about me, or think about us'.
She instantly found someone else. It makes me so small, and what we had, clearly wasn't important, if someone heart can do that shit, and all of this shit.

I always tried to hard to keep her. She almost never tried or made an effort to 'gather the pieces and work it out'. I thought she was 100% my 'ride or die'.

I am happy we are divorced soon. But being replaced is my 'new thoughts'.
and it probably is the worst part of it.

Currently working on getting her out of my head 24/7. it will take a while.

- any advice or input? Just wanted to share my sad story -