Married just 4 months

deadlast5 · 2019-12-04T13:00:18+00:00

Blind sided is the worst.

I was blindsided after 13 years together. She was out. No talking, no Counseling, nothing.

And it only took 5 months for her to be super happy and in a new relationship.

It took me 6 months to get over everything and the loss of my future and family. But now I’m doing good. I met an awesome woman and I do what I want, spend money on what I want.

Focus on who the person you were with for who they really were. That helps.

jkw118 · 2019-12-04T13:23:38+00:00

Listen it will get better. Take your time, get your balance on life back together. I'm still getting over a 14yr marriage (3kids) and it's been almost 3yrs.. It's hard... Some people think marriage/kids are what they need to fix the relationship. It's not. And there's many who've been single, and the idea that they are now tied to someone freaks them out. Whatever the reasons no matter what take care of yourself.

champybaby · 2019-12-04T13:42:13+00:00

What you're going through sucks, but if there's a silver lining, it's that this happened 4 months in and not 4 years or 10 years, for example. In terms of moving forward, it gets better. Just don't spend all your time wallowing. Force yourself to get out there; go on a date just to go on a date and keep your head up.

someguysomewhere00 · 2019-12-04T19:31:16+00:00

Join jujitsu. Being on the mats and being humbled daily by being submitted really allowed my mind to form new connections and have a different perspective on things. You’ll also be around some really amazing people.

It takes time but you’ll get through it. The rent on mental health is due everyday. Don’t stop moving forward.

dday_throwaway3 · 2019-12-04T16:02:13+00:00

Dude, it sucks. However, the bright side is you found out after only 4 months of marriage. Since you don't have kids, and assets obtained in the past 4 months are negligible, you've avoided being entangled with someone until one of you dies. You can't see it today, but a year from now when you look back at this, you'll see it's a blessing.

And it's not you. She may tell you it's about you, but it's not. Hypergamy doesn't care. Once you understand intergender dynamics and how women are wired, you'll see this was inevitable. And that guy she monkeybranched to won't last either.

flamingos_usa · 2019-12-04T18:03:19+00:00

Read this! It has been helping me a lot.

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Revised and Updated, Surviving Through and Recovering from the Five Stages That Accompany the Loss of Love – Susan Anderson

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do but to move forward at all costs. Live your grief, don't rush it but don't ignore it either. I have been on this situation for about 2 months and it has been the hardest time of my life but I have also started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It takes a lot of work and you'll be moving back and forth but eventually, we all come out of it.

brother_meowzone · 2019-12-04T19:12:51+00:00

I think relationships often fall apart that way, happened to me too. 6 year courtship, 2 years engaged, 3 married. In retrospect I took a ton of time to be sure, but that's not really what I was doing. I was really waiting for a long enough period of time to pass coping with the red flags until we reached a number of years that seemed appropriate to marry. Really time was just running out.

TuringGhost · 2019-12-04T21:27:09+00:00

You are getting divorced. Accept it. Now take the steps required to minimize her ability to harm you.

What state are you in? Could you pursue annulment? Is there any joint property or debts?

Title	Married just 4 months
Author	rubi456
Upvotes	8
Comments	20
Date	December 4, 2019 12:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/e5ykuq/married_just_4_months/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/married-just-4-months.818961 https://theredarchive.com/post/818961

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