Long time lurker here and I’m looking for advice. I separated 2 years ago from my ex wife after she had an affair with someone in a position of power and status. This really smacked my confidence, but throughout this I made my son my number 1 focus. He was with me 70% of the time and with her at the weekends.

Fast forward 2 years and Shes still in thst relationship and seemingly never looked back. I never missed her if I’m honest, I missed someone. I started dating a woman with kids who I fell head over heels in love with, I wrote down what I wanted and it seemed that I got everything I wanted. She claimed to want more from me so over time she was introduced to my family and friends. Finally my son and everything seemed ok. She would say there are big differences and we would disagree about things but we were both family first and really loved spending time together.

1 week after meeting my son she drops the bombshell she “needs time to work on herself” … we all know what that means and I’ve not heard from her since. So it seems like she’s gone, I’m absolutely heartbroken in a way I have never felt before.

2 days later there’s a status of her in a fancy restaurant, being wined and dined at a fancy restaurant and I’m yet to hear a peep back from her so I know it’s over.

Now I’m on an average salary doing ok for myself but everything is just so damned expensive that I can’t really afford to spend money on dates. I work in IT / Cyber and I know if I hit work hard for a while I could really start making myself some decent money.

I have got an ok house for us but I can’t help feeling like that’s enough for the type of woman I want. Are there any words of advice or encouragement from others, do I keep trying to be the great dad I know I am or do I just look at getting the money to him and start living just for me.