Nannies

cschoonmaker · 2023-09-12T17:20:25+00:00

As if after paying spousal and child support I would have the money to hire a nanny. I had 50/50 from the get go and I would never have settled for less. Does that mean it's right for everyone? No. Was it right for me and my kids? Yes. Should you be looked down upon for asking for less than 50/50? No. You need to do what's in the best interest of your kids as well as your situation. And if that's 40/60 then do it. I actually did have one of those ex wives that was toxic to the kids. And neither of my kids have any contact with her (their choice, not mine) anymore. If I could have gotten more than 50/50 at the time, I would have. And I would have found a way to make it work. And I am thankful to my job and everyone there for their understanding when I needed to make changes to my schedule to accommodate my kids.

Reflog1791 · 2023-09-12T14:54:18+00:00

Sounds like crickets from the “must have 50-50 at all costs crowd”. It’s like great you got 50-50 now what? Running from work to school 24/7 does not a great father make. This isn’t directed at you necessarily OP, maybe someone in the emotional tornado needs to hear that 50/50 ain’t all it is cracked up to be. I’ve got 3 overnights a week (42%) and it is great. People spending $100k to make sure they aren’t an every other weekend dad makes perfect sense. But they could probably just have negotiated for something like 40% custody and make their life better.

Yes people hate when I post this but I think it’s about ego, righteous indignation, etc. We all have crazy ex wives, so I don’t buy the, “my children won’t be safe if I don’t get 50-50.” It always reads like someone who has no idea how they are going to get to work and be at the elementary school at the same time.

I set up the schedule with less than 50-50 to accommodate the things I need to do. My ex does more of the pickups/dropoffs. It makes the child support easier to swallow when they are doing something to help.

Nanny would be a great idea if you can afford one. I wouldn’t worry about the ex at all. I’d hire a smart nanny that can help tutor the kids.

Flapique · 2023-09-12T19:26:41+00:00

I have health issues which my stbxw tried using against me in our pending divorce. I just don't sleep very well... I found my nanny on care.com. I had a ton of respondents but the one who I selected is just amazing. She's young going to school, very smart, very compassionate and great with the kids. She just comes in the mornings right now and gets my kids ready for school and drops them off. I'm currently paying a flat fee of $50 per day and it's worth every penny. In my area most of the good ones won't take anything less than $20 per hour for 2-3 kids. You'll definitely notice the difference in the applicants on the lower end of the scale.

CrazySanta7 · 2023-09-12T14:49:39+00:00

Not during the school year, but in the summer. Care.com and sittercity.com are pretty solid (require background checks, etc). Also, check with your job. Mine has benefits for reduced cost childcare. Who cares what your ex says. You have to work. She would do the same.

techrmd3 · 2023-09-12T15:29:17+00:00

>>How did your ex react to the nanny? How did you find them?

don't recommend this AT ALL

you realize how the disclosure of a "nanny" will go over in family court right?

If you can afford a nanny you can afford an attorney to advise you about this. Now I believe a "housekeeper with some child supervisory duties" would be a much better way to go.

Also Nannies are licensed in some ways and can be compelled to testify in court. FYI

Title	Nannies
Author	berzerker5000
Upvotes	8
Comments	17
Date	September 12, 2023 1:46 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/16grtic/nannies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/nannies.1231570 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231570

Comments