Need Advice - New Job

upvotersfortruth · 2024-10-08T08:28:18+00:00

General rule: Improving your financial position before or during a divorce is not good. Exception: once in a career opportunities, and gut the windfall she gets.

In most States, you'll need to fill out a financial disclosure form as a part of the court process. If you read that form carefully, it will say you're under a continuing duty to disclose material changes in your financial position (i.e. new job, bonuses, etc.). Any divorce lawyer who is competent will "refresh" financial disclosures before finalizing a divorce of any length. So going about hiding it may not work well for you, which I think you realize from your replies.

As you've said you have kids (which you should always put in the first text of the post because it is a critical fact that affects every decision in a divorce), I'd ask my lawyer if there's a duty to disclose after the divorce is finalized for purposes of modifying child support or if she will have to "find out". This is very different from state to state (e.g. some have an annual re-disclosure, some have no obligations post-decree). From the child support perspective, not much will change whether or not you accept the job pre-decree or post decree, typically.

But alimony (spousal support) and property division are where you will get dinged. If you're looking at a substantial amount of alimony, you're under a bigger incentive to get it done under your current salary, preferably non-modifiable alimony, even more preferably lump sum in lieu of alimony (from cash or a disproportionate distribution of marital assets) and done.

From the career perspective, is this a once-in-a-career opportunity? Then if you can't defer the acceptance, you don't really have a choice but to accept it. If it's possible that some other opportunities will come your way in the next few years, then you may want to defer it. As for the signing bonus, it would be great if you could defer it without any paperwork on it but other than that, it's going to get disclosed.

This all assumes she's somewhat money-motivated and has a competent lawyer.

TL;DR - get a handle on alimony and post-decree financial disclosures from your lawyer, then decide what to do about the offer.

techrmd3 · 2024-10-08T03:16:17+00:00

this is an EASY one get a lawyer get a filing together and have it ready

If you get an offer that is stupendous, simply file for divorce BEFORE start date.

Easy Peasy. BTW for everyone watching in the home game. Your status AT THE MOMENT of filing is what matters to the court. Not good if you lose your job (bad) or even if you get a new job (good).

If you have a 100k job on date of filing you will get ASSESSED at that rate! Which is bad if you lose your job right? But great in your case if you get a nice promotion or BETTER job! see how that works?

It's mostly a wash really. your taxes (last 2 years) and last 2-4 pay stubs will be what the court looks at. if you got a new job an the bonuses for new job were months away you would still be assessed on last 2 taxes and 4 pay stubs almost always.

REMEMBER this is the ORIGINAL filing date cutoff!!! IF miss thang does not want to file you as an empowered strong and independent man can file on your own. And in this case it is to your benefit to file before this job starts.

good luck

Boomhower113 · 2024-10-07T23:08:52+00:00

Any way to get the signing bonus deferred?

Your lawyer could tell you the best way to maneuver this, but my guess is that he’s going to tell you to be open and honest about it.

I caught my wife in a perjury trap and it has really fucked her in the end. Judges do not like it when you’re hiding important shit.

TXJohn83 · 2024-10-07T22:20:10+00:00

Start the job now(cash flow is going to be tight), just shut your mouth don't give any info you are not required to give... But also don't lie about shit.

Reflog1791 · 2024-10-07T22:15:34+00:00

Don’t tell her about the new job or the hiring bonus or the stocks.

Accept the new job. Your CS will be based on last few W2s. Just keep your mouth shut. I would fill out all your paperwork right now. It may or may not ask for your employer.

There’s usually nothing about notifying employment change. Even if there is just notify the bare minimum.

Where this goes in the long run is she can fill out the modification forms down the road.

I’m not really seeing any reason to delay anything. Just fill out the required divorce forms and quit talking to ex.

Title	Need Advice - New Job
Author	ksuclipse
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	October 7, 2024 9:59 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fyjxme/need_advice_new_job/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-advice-new-job.1532398 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532398

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