My (33m) cheating GF (32F) and mother of 3 kids is making my choices so much easier. I just posted not to long ago about feelings of why is it so hard and why do I feel bad etc etc. I am only writing again to just keep an update on my progress and feelings as maybe this will help someone else. Not to mention all your comments whether they are hard love, encouragement or advice I appreciate it all. Sometimes you need to hear the hard things and get a kick in the ass. So thank you.

Since it’s after the Holidays conversations with the attorney is picking up. He recommends we get a mediator to work out custody and the house and everything in between because she simply won’t listen to reason or leave the house even with that being best for everyone. So here we sit but I’m glad things are in motion. I have also continued with my therapist who was has pointed out during our conversations, that I often take a lot of the blame. He thinks I have taken a lot of her problems as my own to fix for the relationship when that isn’t my job. He reminds me that alcoholism is a disease and it gets worse and when I started bringing up drinking to much to her she wanted to protect it. Blaming me saying every time I mention it she just wants to get more. She also said that about the affair when I first found out. Something along the lines of the more u keep pushing me to stop the more I want to tell him stuff. So anyways he keeps reminding me to focus on myself and proceed what’s best for me and the kids.

As far as why I think she is making my choice to leave her easier is because everytime we have a conversation she doesn’t show any emotion towards me. She tells me she likes the new her. That she is sorry I don’t like this version. Since January 1st there has been at least 6 nights she’s been home “late”. I’m with the kids and she comes home can tell she had a couple. She tells me she don’t have to explain to me where she has been or who she is with. Which is true because I don’t care. She has told me she knows we aren’t repairable and that’s why she isn’t trying to recover. Because she thinks I will spew bullshit and bash her and she is done listening to me and the way if view her is not the real version and that it’s incorrect. Oh because she told me she is planning a trip to Vegas, to which I said with who? She said friends. I said I don’t believe you and it’s probably with AP. She told me I don’t know her and she has new friends and that this year it’s all about herself. So even though I have feelings for her from the past. I don’t like this current version. Let’s hope she don’t marry this dude.

The best part is one night she came to me asking why I am doing this. Another trigger when I should shut up but I gave her the laundry list of reasons. Like I don’t know maybe the cheating or lying? Breaking my trust? How about the emotional abuse and drinking? How about going to a different state to cheat? Maybe it’s the gun you brought home in his name? How about AP tracking you and you still took him on a romantic weekend. Maybe it’s saying I deserve this? Maybe it’s the fact you changed as a mother? Maybe it’s the fact this dude truth bombed me many times and talked so much shit and you didn’t stick up for me? You turned your back on me and the family?

I hope we can get out of the same house sooner than later! It’s time this relationship ends.

TLDR: Just and update on my progress.