Should I try for Alimony

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-05-17T16:32:05+00:00

I was a horrible husband [...] she cheated on me

The cheating makes her a terrible wife. Inexcusable regardless of what you've done -- she should have left you first, and if it were fear of your temper (dude that's abuse) then she should have left you without saying a damn word. That's how you treat a terrible husband who is going to destroy stuff if you talk to them.

should I try for alimony

Who did what is irrelevant. You ask for it. If your positions were swapped, she were abusive and you were the cheater, she'd be asking for alimony. It's only fair.

I'm assuming you have a habit of falling on your own sword all the time, and you're furious and lash out because nobody gives you special treatment because you fell on your sword. Here's a hint: Stop it. Falling on your sword will never get you what you want, won't make you appear to be a goodguy in any situation, and won't make anybody happy. Nobody gives you SHIT in exchange for sacrificing yourself.

New life rule for you. From now on, you ask for what you want. If you don't get it, you ask for what you need. If you don't get it, then you move on and ask for what you want elsewhere. I'm not saying "use people" -- usually to get what you want, you have to give someone else what they want, and you have to ask them. I'm also not saying "don't ever do things for other people without getting something in return." I'm not. Do things for other people without getting something in return if that's what you actually want. That's fine. Good, even. Just make sure that you're getting what you want, or at least what you need, by asking for it instead of lashing out when you don't get it because you didn't ask.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-05-17T21:25:03+00:00

Do what you think is the right thing to do because you have to live with yourself.

clarkr10 · 2023-05-17T20:51:37+00:00

Yes go for alimony….the more women that have to pay alimony, the more likely it is they push to end these archaic alimony laws that fuck men over.

Do it for the cause if nothing else.

dnbndnb · 2023-05-17T16:44:23+00:00

I was a good husband. When the crazy wife “called it” I was pissed but whatever. I immediately researched our state (AZ) laws and realized there was no way she could get alimony. She make some random comment about looking out for her “interests”. I told her “there won’t be any alimony”. Instead of saying “of course not” as there were plenty of assets to divide up, she ignored the comment. What she did not realize us while I had not worked in 10 years, she had a recently expired professional license that could be easily renewed in a profession with high demand and low 6 figure earnings power. Had she tried to pull some shit I absolutely would have gone after her for the alimony in retribution.

RuRu_1999 · 2023-05-17T19:54:33+00:00

We need more info. How long were you married? Are you employed? Can you support yourself?

If you were only married a short time, and you can support yourself, then I would move on. On the other hand, if you are unemployed, some alimony for a few months might help you get back on your feet.

Also, you haven’t mentioned which state you are in. In some states it is hard to get alimony. It varies by state.

ranger69danger · 2023-05-17T22:01:30+00:00

Relevant facts: 1 person supported the household. 1 person cheated. The court will likely only care about who earned how much than about who fucked who.

Internal-Sense-5250 · 2023-05-18T14:03:50+00:00

The cheating was because of how you treated her. She most likely wouldn’t have cheated if you made her feel loved and respected. How could u expect her to stay in an unsafe environment? If you feel responsible for the start of the breakdown of the marriage then no. Do not go after alimony. Be a man and make your own way. Work hard and don’t mooch off your hard working military wife. It was a short marriage as it seems given your age. Work on yourself and your temper so u don’t repeat this pattern with your next relationship.

TheBoyBand · 2023-05-17T17:36:27+00:00

GET YOURS KINGGGG TAKE HER TO THE CLEANERS… it’s what her entourage would say or something like that 😅

Edit: Im retired military, of course she went for the bennies!

Usual_Attitude1724 · 2023-05-18T15:27:03+00:00

Can’t wrap my head around blaming yourself for her infidelity and making excuses for her. You think it’s going to be the same thing if it was the other way round?

Seek legal advice and get alimony. Good luck

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2023-05-19T13:58:08+00:00

This is not the time for foolish male pride.

Take her for every red cent.

Title	Should I try for Alimony
Author	Pass_West
Upvotes	4
Comments	15
Date	May 17, 2023 4:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/13k66fv/should_i_try_for_alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-i-try-for-alimony.1219566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219566

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