Telling Her

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-01-09T02:51:28+00:00

50/50 should be the default in all fairness and you should fight for it. The rest should just be seen as a business transaction gone back that you now have to recover from. Good luck my guy!

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-09T02:23:16+00:00

Your attorney's advice to secure the agreement before filing makes sense tactically documentation that you proposed 50/50 in good faith protects you if things escalate later but the risk is that telling her before you've filed and secured your own place gives her time to prepare her counter-move, and in high-conflict situations that head start can cost you.

The fact that you're worried about fighting forever to see your kids tells you something about how you think she'll respond, so the question is: do you trust her to sign something fair when she's blindsided, or do you think she'll use the gap between "I want a divorce" and "I filed" to lawyer up, document against you, and frame the narrative first? A lot of guys in your spot have found that having everything lined up place secured, filing ready to go, 50/50 proposal prepared before the conversation gives you more control over the timeline and less room for her to destabilize things while you're vulnerable and in-between.

eratosthenes777 · 2026-01-08T23:41:51+00:00

Act like you are being recorded or listened to at all times treat her with respect.

I bought this.

https://www.amazon.com/132G-9800-Voice-Activated-Recorder/dp/B0DBVNMV6M/ref=mp_s_a_1_8?crid=24NK3A5S4A729&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ILhD3tEAWqnw-LmbGOCcrAreFR9qlwNJY2KCW_4dNSS6k4lIMJriElUoceqID2dwBl-wpolLtJcI9YRGOjBm4jMnEtpfsmQYfBPOL0bKBrIISUJtWjel2ahlukJQZkcJ8Cr2zCiVuiow8mBbB_nzlAshImW1qV_nVpecYlRc7eeAJAA7NweKLVz-FAXLH4JxdXeAhFSs33aSWkAlhjQcqg.CfYw6F9YdzJTn8vLx8pKe2HCQN-827q0PAqBpkd-sk0&dib_tag=se&keywords=recording+device&qid=1767915167&sprefix=Recordi%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-8

Voice activated and last a few days on a charge jeep it on your pocket. If she gets into a fit you have more evidence. Never talk law in front of anything including kids. I got 5050, no child support last. Novebember. Ask I type this my so just got here he has a fresh pizza and upstairs in his room happy. His in middle.. She shelters him so much. So what do I do? Buy him a gaming laptop about. To get him a real smart phone. She thinks sheltering him going to protect him. But it's really alienating him from the things to talk about with his peers in school. Kids are going to find a way trash. I'm not saying I'm allowing to do anything like porn. I monitor sometimes when he leaves. But I remember the times in the 90s stopping getting playboy or penthouse. He's going through puberty he needs his father in his life growing to a man not a woman. Best thing trsat her with respect as much as you hate it. Recorded and document everything that will help your attorney give you the best odds at 5050 good luck!

Epic_Ranting_Man · 2026-01-08T21:09:22+00:00

Be patient. Don't overreact. Play the long game. The kids come first. Take care of yourself. That's all I've got.

ToughPill · 2026-01-08T21:03:12+00:00

We have no idea of the context of your situation and cannot offer advice.

General advice is do not surrender your place in home.

Document your involvement and your care of the kids.

WhydIJoinRedditAgain · 2026-01-08T21:03:06+00:00

I doubt she’d sign something without having her own attorney look at it first…

Title	Telling Her
Author	analogwarmth
Upvotes	10
Comments	16
Date	January 8, 2026 8:48 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1q7njd1/telling_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/telling-her.1570743 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570743

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