All

Been reading some of the inspirational posts here, so decided to jump in anonymously and share my situation.

Been married for 23+ years to someone who was my soulmate. We never had kids, travelled the world and generally had a good time. That's not to say we did not argue but generally felt aligned and heading in the same direction. Were planning to retire early in about 5 years and continue to travel and enjoy the world.

Around 4 years ago we started having some honesty, trust and judgment issues (not infidelity), which is a horrible cycle to get into and generally heads slowly and surely downhill. All resulting in my wife saying she wants to divorce ~8 weeks ago. So we went through a lot of pain during those first few weeks and then agreed to a period of separation as the snowball was rolling down the hill faster than we would both like.

It's been a emotional roller coaster, much of the time rebuilding one tiny step at a time but then punctuated by big steps backwards, where we are unable to communicate about something we disagree on. We have just been through one of these over the weekend and I feel I have zero energy left to try and save things, I have tried my hardest to acknowledge and own the mistakes I have made in the past. Think I have reached a point of apathy, with maybe one last little piece of energy to save and rebuild.

Feeling emotionally drained, worried about the future and scared I have lost the one person I have shared 20+ years of my life with. Trying to do all the usual things - reconnect with friends, spend time with family and keep myself very busy but that does not stop it hitting you in waves.

Something tells be this will all be decided by the end of this month. I just want some closure one way or the other

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Thanks all for listening.

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