What are the most important things to consider during ‘parenting time’ mediation?

pegleg_legal · 2021-10-26T11:37:55+00:00

Big important things:

ratio of parenting time
work schedules
missed visitation and make-ups
holidays
travel rights
not to be alone with significant other of ex
if ex cannot actually exercise visitation herself, option to take it yourself
grandparent visitation
extra curriculars (incl non-urgent medical appointments) not agreed not on other parent's time
non-disparagement, unequivocal support of other parent's time regardless of protest of kids, no frustration of visitation, no interruption of other parents time by non-agreed communications
modification by mutual agreement for some flexibility

Little important things:

prepped, packed, fed, laundered and watered for handover with homework done
practical handover provisions, time - place - process
gift giving limits
consistent screen time policy, if preferred and possible

WartimeDad · 2021-10-26T05:20:36+00:00

Fairly straight forward really. Complications only arise when there are disagreements. Particularly when there are disagreements in the kind of “he isn’t fit to be a dad.”

Holidays should be figured out. Most folks alternate years but can also make traditions. Certain holidays at one home and other certain holidays at the other.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-10-26T09:35:36+00:00

Mediators are not fair. The mediator has one job: To get an agreement. They will accomplish that by leaning on the weaker party. Don't be the weaker party. Set your hill to die on before you start mediation.

Some great mediation tips here: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=46407

derelictherds · 2021-10-26T20:06:49+00:00

Not really 'parenting time' related, but be sure to spell out which schools or school districts the kids will attend and who has final say if either or both of you decide to move out of the district. This is a good way to put geographic restrictions in place in case your ex decides to move off and take the kids with her. This ended up being huge for me about a year after the divorce.

What are the most important things to consider during ‘parenting time’ mediation?

Comments

10 could have been a problem with us initially because she refused to back me up if the kids complained about going to my apartment, but now they look forward to overnights with me.

Title	What are the most important things to consider during ‘parenting time’ mediation?
Author	urz8080
Upvotes	2
Comments	11
Date	October 26, 2021 3:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qfxhm2/what_are_the_most_important_things_to_consider/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-are-the-most-important-things-to-consider.1081798 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081798