When will this feeling ever go

desertstroller · 2019-12-20T22:26:02+00:00

It will and does get better. Physical exercise can help mitigate the worry and anxiety.

Philo_Beddoe99 · 2019-12-20T22:37:56+00:00

Not to bum you out but I'm approaching one year and I'm still very angry. The decision was mutual however I can't get over the resentment.

I lost my job 3 months before my wife and I decided to divorce. She wasn't there for me in my time of need and I was there for her in so many different ways over the course of our marriage. It was such a mistake marrying her our values just do not match. The anger can consume you.

I am still working on a path forward. I am farther along in life so it can add a layer of complexity to things.

BITRmeatloaf · 2019-12-20T22:11:51+00:00

There’s no equation.

One day you will just wake up normally and at some point realize that you didn’t think about it that day at all. At this point you start to love again.

TryToHelpPeople · 2019-12-21T12:07:27+00:00

It really does get better but it takes time. Deal with each day one at a time, one thing that helped me quite a bit was something my dad said to me.

At the end of each day, just ask yourself these questions . . . Are your kids healthy ? Are they dealing with it ok ?are you helping them as best you can ? Did you do something today to make you and them feel happy with each other ?

Stay with it, you’ll be ok.

croyab · 2019-12-21T02:50:30+00:00

Every divorce is different, going through this with kids in the mix must be awful. Mine is without kids, but I have been in a state of heightened anxiety for six months as we navigate the process.

Trytosurvive · 2019-12-20T22:54:33+00:00

It’s just time -over time you realise that each subsequent day the memories don’t hurt as much - there will be scars and some particular memories that still hurt but day to day gets easier. Also if you find your stuck in you head going over good times, what you should have done, loss of future etc - I found dedicating 30 minutes each day to think of that and then hit a punching bag, go for a walk or something to release that negative energy... this helped me to get out of my head at work and think of other things - I still have anxiety issues but nowhere as sad, lost or suicidal I was 2 yrs ago... also some good podcasts on divorce that helped - I went to therapy but didn’t like it and got too expensive

jeremeyp · 2019-12-21T00:23:15+00:00

Everything started with mine last October. Everyone has their own timeline, but I didn’t start to fully process everything until about June, and it was about a year into when I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was not my choice, and I think my ex has made some terrible decisions regarding the children, but I’ve learned to let go of those things I have no control over.

4agreements · 2019-12-21T00:51:00+00:00

You have to give In To your feelings and really feel them. When you resist and try to be strong bullshit, it just comes out sideways...

I will never understand why it happened. I will never forgive my mate for the pain caused me and our girls. I will accept it, but I’m not one of those that feels I need to forgive. Because it doesn’t change anything. The best I can do is breathe, cry, see my therapist and keep my body moving. Acceptance comes in waves. But After the pain, and wasted time trying to understand and fix our marriage there was nothing to fix. I know deep in my heart that I was good enough. And if my mate didn’t see it, and chose someone else, that on them.

WildThorn1 · 2019-12-21T00:59:04+00:00

I think what kills me the most, his I gave everything that she ever wanted and fully supported her and everything in every way but it never seemed enough. I made as many of the kids events as I could I took as much time off of work as I could to spend time with them when they were sick to take them to doctor's appointments I made sure I left work early to be there every night with them. but she's acting like I was never there and that I don't know my children and that I have no clue what I'm doing and then I was just a bankroll I turn down good opportunities to spend more time with the children it just seems like everything I did was for her and my children never for myself and in her eyes I'm s***

TheInsulator · 2019-12-21T15:08:01+00:00

Eventually it will. I’m almost two years out and I’m much better than I was. Going through divorce will change you so don’t expect to go back to “normal”. There will be a new normal for you.

Title	When will this feeling ever go
Author	WildThorn1
Upvotes	9
Comments	22
Date	December 20, 2019 10:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/edgv40/when_will_this_feeling_ever_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-will-this-feeling-ever-go.1201975 https://theredarchive.com/post/1201975

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