Advice

xvszero · 2026-04-11T21:15:43+00:00

Bru you're 16. I know your peers are all telling you they're hooking up all the time but a bunch of them aren't. Regardless, you have time to figure it out. I had no clue what I was doing at 16.

Plenty of guys aren't tall. In fact, 50% of guys are at average or below average height.

VisceralSardonic · 2026-04-11T23:46:02+00:00

16?!? Holy damn, dude! There is SO MUCH HOPE for you here. First of all, even apart from the fact that some boys still have growth spurts past 16, this is absolutely not a moment to be concerned.

My first boyfriend and I had our first kisses at 16, dated for years, and last I knew, he had dated about four girls seriously after me and hooked up with a lot more. I think he's 5'5" or 5'6" and makes a medium income at best. He's doing abolsutely fine, as are multiple other short (and very not rich) friends I have.

That "height is all that matters to women/girls" stuff is absolutely false. So so many of us don't care at all, some actively prefer short guys, and short guys date all the time. Is there a small population of women out there who only date tall guys? Absolutely, but there's also a small population of women out there who only date Mets fans or religious guys or non-religious guys, or whatever. You're *16!!!!* in a society where, even if it doesn't feel like it right now, a huge percentage of the population still hasn't had their first kiss until 17, 18, etc.

I promise you that you're doing okay. Promise. You're letting the conclusions make and confirm and justify themselves in your mind, but that doesn't mean that they're true. You asked how you get out of this mindset-- ask yourself why this mindset has to be your natural conclusion in the first place. Let yourself live.

TAKEitTOrCIRCLEJERK · 2026-04-11T22:32:24+00:00

sign up for drama classes next year.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2026-04-12T04:59:55+00:00

You're 16. Where are you getting this impression that you have to have a huge dating history by 16?

StayCool-243 · 2026-04-12T18:25:34+00:00

Brother be easy on yourself. 16 is nothing there’s no rule that says you have to couple up yet. Nothing is even remotely over.

Alseebee · 2026-04-12T20:43:06+00:00

Hey, thanks for sharing. So I might not be the first to say this but it seems like besides our advice you need to talk to a therapist too if you’re not already consulting. And don’t be afraid to find the right one that makes you comfortable sharing with.

As a 29 y/o woman I had my first kiss at 17 and first sexual encounter at 19. I felt ashamed at the time and all of my friends (girls and boys) were experiencing, some for a while. I didn’t feel like being desirable, wasn’t looking for dating either because it scared me but it really felt like a burden and didn’t help with the huuuuge lack of self confidence.

I understand that it’s your whole world right now and it’s not light for you. But thinking about it too much will only increase the hopelessness that you feel. We are used to compare ourselves to each others and it’s not the right way to go through life.

Instead of looking for girls/ dating/ kissing etc meet new people without regarding them as potential partners. 16 is really young and it’s totally normal that you feel this way, you’re still in your teenage years and are probably still getting hit by new hormones.

Also don’t go looking for « girls ». Go for yourself, learn how your new body works and if you really want to actually meet someone don’t look for any girl. Learn to meet people beyond their gender, as persons and then you’ll get to know if they’re friend material or lover material. If it’s not reciprocated let it go, you just don’t belong in each others life. If you have a crush, even one that lasts, speak up to the person. If they’re healthy and you want each others in your respective life it can be the beginning of a friendship and this episode won’t affect it once you get past it.

You got this, life is an experience, it’s not about achievements. 🌻

No-Language-4424 · 2026-04-13T03:45:54+00:00

After high school, honestly, nobody cares. You always hear about the guys who peaked in their senior year, but the second they graduate, they are completely forgotten.

I am 5'6, I'm slim, and I'm below average in my pants. But guess what? I am not a virgin. I have gone on dates with women who were taller than me, and I was in a relationship for three years. There were even times when my ex paid for my meals because I was broke. I would never let ANYONE tell me my self-worth. My confidence is delusional but it works.

You need to stop comparing yourself to these six foot jocks. Why do you treat them like they are your bosses or your "big daddies"? Would you actually get on your knees for them? You should never let any man or woman have that kind of power over you. If you do, people will walk all over you.

GladysSchwartz23 · 2026-04-13T16:09:15+00:00

OP, looking at your post history, you are spending way too much time sucking up online content that tells you to process your experiences in a particular way and makes it seem very rational to be this hopeless. That shit is lying to you and it is hurting you! Getting away from any and all manosphere content is GUARANTEED to make you feel less despondent and help you function better socially. Stop eating the poison!

Reasonable-Lynx2000 · 2026-04-11T21:31:09+00:00

Definitely keep up on the sports, and find other things that you like and enjoy in similar ways. I'm a woman and when I was 16 I felt similarly - tried so hard to have guys like me without any success, and generally felt really low and hopeless most of the time. It can and will get better for you. Hight isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be. I've dated guys shorter than me, and I know many shorter men that have thriving lives (and partners, kids, all that good stuff). Being 16 can be really hard. If you can avoid, or at least be aware of, online spaces that are super toxic (that make you feel ugly, small, worthless, etc.), I definitely recommend it. Do things that you can build skill at, that are fun, that are offline, and try new experiences (and meeting the people that come along with it). You'll be ok!

ChelseaDagger16 · 2026-04-12T00:16:24+00:00

Im not going to say whatever issues you have will go away or get better, but life is very different for most people (including myself) at 26 or even 21 than 16.

If sports are the only thing keeping you alive, why not join a sports team? Meet new people, make friends and it serves as a tool for something measurable for self-improvement. Probably won’t get you laid, but it’ll probably see you feeling better than you do.

Temporary_Client9353 · 2026-04-14T15:49:09+00:00

Mano vc tem 16 anos, DESENCANA, muito tempo de tela faz mal viu mano

meme-inc · 2026-04-11T23:03:56+00:00

My friend (short if that helps you) didn't have his first kiss until 19, where he kissed 4 different girls, even had sex (which was a mistake but he learned from it), and is now in a happy relationship, all in one year. Before that he focused on building his body, mindset and spending time with his friends and family. Chin up king

Putrid-Ad-2478 · 2026-04-13T14:48:45+00:00

I’m assuming if you’re posting on exred pill you may have already burned the bridges with girls you know and go to school with

Title	Advice
Author	Additional_Charge743
Upvotes	0
Comments	61
Date	April 11, 2026 8:38 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1siu9li/advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/advice.1577711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577711

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