Ex-RP Men: How do you handle this?

RedPillDetox · 2017-07-17T20:20:56+00:00

As long as she is a cool girl right now there's really no problem other than your own ego messing with you. That's the conclusion i always came to regarding this sexual past thing. I too was all butthurt about my girls past (and it wasn't even anything special), until i realized how ridiculous that is. TRP just enfasizes so much the idea that sex is simultaneously so morally wrong and at the same time having uncommited sex is such a marker of your worth as a man that every TRPer freaks out regarding a girls sex past for no reason. Add to that the fact that most TRPers don't want a girl with a past because it constantly reminds them of their own feelings of inadequacy because they didn't get to be promiscuous themselves in the past. True is that if your girl is a cool person past doesn't matter.

Also many TRPers have this weird fucked up belief of "a man trades commitment for sex. If a woman gave sex to another man without commitment you are paying for something another guy had for free". This is completly wrong, pussy whipped mentality. A man gives commitment out of love, not to get regular access to a pussy and any guy who believes that it's the very true definition of pussy whipped beta, something that TRP's (claims to be) against. Besides, you're not entitled to pussy, anyway.

raziphel · 2017-07-17T20:39:59+00:00

She's with you. She values you. She trusts you. If she wanted to do something crazy with you, she'd bring it up.

If she doesn't feel comfortable or safe talking about the things she wants to do, look into why. If she doesn't want to do those things with you, consider that maybe she had bad experiences with them and just doesn't want to.

Are there things you'd like to do with her? Talk to her about it.

Anything she did in the past does not reflect you. It's in the past. Value her for who she is.

windowpanemouse · 2017-07-19T18:34:17+00:00

I think for the sake of your relationship you need to examine why you feel entitled to demand that she swing with you -- even though she doesn't want to --just because she tried it in the past.

The vast majority of women don't want to swing. Sounds like she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you honestly about how she feels. Is that because you're so invested in making it happen, and you're pressuring her?

She likely has no idea that her boyfriend is influenced by a movement that sees men as either alpha chads or beta cucks. She doesn't realize what a huge big deal it is to you that she has done something sexually in the past that she's not willing to do now, with you. She regrets telling you she's tried this thing and perhaps is starting to wonder if there isn't something unhealthy about your attitude toward sex that she can't quite place.

The fact that you're now a liberated, divorced guy and you are eager to try it all doesn't mean that your partner is obligated to hand you the opportunity to be with other women on a silver platter. In fact, if she takes you at all seriously as a boyfriend she's very likely to not want to share you. But of course you aren't able to gain admittance to a swinger party without her cooperation. So you're pressuring her. Maybe that's what happened to her before. Either way, if you can't let this go, maybe you'll pressure her into one sex party, but your relationship will pay the price. And maybe the lesson for you is that you're not really relationship material at this point in your life.

BrokenArrows95 · 2017-07-18T01:44:48+00:00

If you don't like the things she has done, you can always stop dating her. You don't have to be okay with her sexual history. If you don't like her past because you wouldn't do the things she has done and don't feel comfortable with it, then don't date her.

AnarchyshitpostBOT · 2017-07-17T20:40:26+00:00

A rule I learned a long time ago is "don't ask questions you don't want the answer to"

You know this info. What do you want to do with it?

If your desire is to have similar experiences with her, then ask her about it. But she might say no. Is that an answer you're okay with? If no then don't ask

Life-is-wonderful · 2017-07-19T02:11:31+00:00

I look at it like this. There are a lot of life choices a person can make. Some I agree with, some I don't. The things I don't agree with can be deal breakers for a relationship to varying degrees. One thing that is a deal breaker for me is a past with a lot of casual sex only because that's not how I choose to live my life. I view sex as something sacred/important and that's just my life view. I don't care if someone has a lot of casual sex, much like I don't care if someone chooses to dress "less conservatively", those just aren't people I choose to associate with in a romantic sense.

jbird669 · 2017-07-18T10:36:18+00:00

"Would you still want to do "those things", if your partner had been totally vanilla in her past?"

@conservative_poly, yes, I've always wanted to do these things. When she offered up that she did certain things that I've always wanted, I got excited.

Screenwatch23 · 2017-07-27T00:04:30+00:00

I hate reddit for the majority of comments regarding this. It is 100% you take accountability and responsibility. If you were worth it shed put in the effort. My main rule in a relationship is to give me your best and nothing less. Find out if she's falling short of that talk to her if she doesn't wanna give you her best or make you happy then peace the fuck out my dude

jbird669 · 2017-07-17T21:07:52+00:00

With posts like this, everyone always assumes that the girlfriend in question tried, but didn't like the acts, due to pain or coercion. Well let's go the opposite direction, which happens to be my issue. She likes doing that stuff, but she doesn't want to do them with me. I do try and bring everything up that I'd like to do she says she's doesn't wish to talk about it. I don't believe, that if it's in the past it stays in the past. I'm of the belief that if I have done something that my partner wants to do, i do it. I want them to experience the joy, or just have the experience itself. If I did all those things, and my girlfriend want to do them, I would absolutely do them with her. It's a two-way street. Makes me wonder what is wrong with me, that she doesn't want to do them. This is one area where I agree with red pillers.

jbird669 · 2017-07-17T21:25:39+00:00

@oywiththepoodle, because she hasn't denied it. I talked to her about something once in the subject of a sex swing came up. She did that before, said that she do it again but she can't do in her apartment and won't go anywhere to try it.

jbird669 · 2017-07-17T22:32:17+00:00

@RedPillDetox, so if I want to stay in the relationship, I don't get to expand my sexual horizons (that I couldn't do when I was a young father) with someone who has because she did with others but not someone she claims to care about??

jbird669 · 2017-07-18T02:06:08+00:00

@BrokenArrows95, you're missing the point. I WANT to do those things that she's done, but she doesn't want to do them with me.

reddude94 · 2017-08-03T02:57:28+00:00

As long as she doesn't cheat I'm fine, humans are sexually driven animals.

Title	Ex-RP Men: How do you handle this?
Author	jbird669
Upvotes	2
Comments	110
Date	July 17, 2017 7:59 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/6nvm06/exrp_men_how_do_you_handle_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/ex-rp-men-how-do-you-handle-this.300224 https://theredarchive.com/post/300224

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