Leadership

nebthefool · 2021-09-10T07:24:03+00:00

It is my firm belief that the leader of the home is the cat.

Those who possess homes without cats have forsaken their god given duties to serve our feline overlords.

Less facesioustly I think it makes sense for whoever spends the most time in the home to run it. That's not the same as leading it but they're most likely to see the problems and know what needs fixing.

In traditional gender roles that would be the woman. I don't really subscribe to traditional gender roles though. I think they exist because they are the most broadly applicable roles and it's the most prevalent dynamic in heterosexual couples. In the past if people didn't fit in to that dynamic they would either lie about living I'm that dynamic it or have to just exist in a dynamic they didn't want to.

That does still happen, but I think it's getting more common for people to have an openly non-traditional dynamic.

Snoo52682 · 2021-09-10T12:45:13+00:00

What does it even mean to "lead in the home"? Define your terms. My apartment isn't on a five-year mission to explore new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations.

My husband and I more or less "take charge" when it makes sense for each of us to do so. He handles tech, I handle the dog. Big decisions we make jointly. A lot of things we just do independently without consulting each other, because that's how we roll.

Regarding #2, all leadership should be limited, good lord. Do you want cults? Because that's how you get cults. People with unlimited power in small domains.

Of course there is no biological reason that men should run things, and if there's a biological reason they want to, sucks for them.

softnmushy · 2021-09-10T05:48:26+00:00

It’s tricky. I think generalizations will end up being wrong for a huge part of the population.

There are a ton of households where the wife is smarter, more educated, or has better mental health. In those situations, she should probably be the “leader” of the household. But since it is a partnership it’s not very healthy for either partner to be “dominant “ over the other.

I’m the more successful and intellectually assertive spouse in my household. But both of us have veto power on pretty much any decision. And I do everything I can to boost my partner’s confidence because I want her to grow and maximize herself as much as possible. This approach has has really paid off for our family.

But every family and relationship is different. There is no cookie cutter formula.

RadioSphinx · 2021-09-10T05:40:04+00:00

The most qualified should lead, and even then it should be a partnership first. If the woman is better at it, or if the man would rather not take that role, so long as they can come to an honest agreement it doesn't matter.

I have to assume socialization plays a huge part into why men desire to lead. Specifically, criticism/shaming from other men on a man who shows "feminine" traits is absolutely brutal. traditional women reinforcing this doesn't help either.

Now this is just a random thought, but when you look at how girls and boys grow up, boys are usually encouraged to seek their validation in more assertive ways (ie showing expertise, ability) while girls are usually expected to see their validation in more co-operative ways (ie kindness, empathy). So one could guess how that would look down the road, when these different styles are reinforced over a lifetime.

Pichuco · 2021-09-10T06:34:36+00:00

I (40M) think in many places the woman is who always take the shots, but they make it look like it is the man decision or leadership as it is what is expected as society.

About leadership, in my current state of mind i wouldn't dare to lead anyone as i have trouble just leading myself. I would love some strong woman that lead me all the way! There is the chance that many of those Wonder Women are out of my league, but i try to keep up my game.

Venustarr_777 · 2021-09-10T03:45:15+00:00

Hell no because I don't believe in gender roles.
See no. 1
I haven't seen anything to support this and even if there was, I don't need anyone LEAD me or lead me in my home. I can handle that myself.

cunningcaring · 2021-09-10T11:16:29+00:00

Leadership is not what you think.

Gandhi said: "There go the people. I must hurry and catch up for I am their leader."

TheDrWinston · 2021-09-10T15:08:42+00:00

Who ever wears the pants is cool with me

vcreativ · 2021-09-10T20:54:59+00:00

Any adult must be capable of leading themselves first and foremost.

Ideally the interaction between the two partners is based in dialogue.

So no leading should be required. I think by the time it is, at least one party will be quite frustrated with it, and it's not always the one being led.

In the interest of effectiveness, it usually makes sense for the partners to split up responsibilities between them, and they should lead the execution in their respective fields with important decisions made by all actors it affects.

You know, like a team.

Do note that you don't appear to assume a heterosexual couple. How would you expect a homosexual couple to work? Who would lead whom if they're both men?

Do you believe there is a biological reason why men should lead or desire to lead?

Only a fool would want to lead in every regard for he must fail. So no, I don't think so. Albeit such men undoubtedly exist.

Additional-Sport-836 · 2021-09-11T01:19:53+00:00

I think everyone has their strengths, and whoever is willing to rise to the challenge, should be in charge of that specific task, or responsibility. However, if you s*ck at it, you should hand over the reigns to the person most capable

Atmosphere-Strong · 2021-09-13T00:25:40+00:00

The only leadership that should be happening in the home is leading the children by the parents. Marriage is based on compromise.

barefoot-soul · 2021-09-18T02:34:08+00:00

First, we should define what leading means:

"Leadership is a process of social influence, which maximizes the efforts of others, towards the achievement of a goal."

Notice that leadership is different than control/exercise of power. In the ideal relationship, both partners should be equals in terms of power. Both should contribute to the decision-making. Both should define the goals.

Now to answer the questions.

No. If there is a necessity for someone to be leading the relationship, that role should fall in hands of the most intelligent/conscious/mature person.
The person leading should have the best interest of everyone in mind. The leader is not a dictator or a control freak. The leader is someone who takes initiative in understanding what will work best for the couple/family considering everyone's input.
Not necessarily. Then why have we seen men take this role in history? Women in the wild naturally faced many dangers (childbirth, being raped, being killed, etc.) due to their reduced size and muscle mass. This meant that women had fight or flight reactions with spikes of cortisol much more often. Fear is the emotion that ruled women in history. Because of this, when choosing a mate, women chose the mates that would increase the likelihood of their survival. The mate that would increase the likelihood of their survival was the most protective, smart, courageous, etc. There is a dichotomy of fear vs bravery and the type of men that women chose to have their children were leader types. That's why many women today feel comfortable with the men being the leader in the relationship - it's comforting for the women to have a protector. And that's why men feel good when they are leaders (they are being useful to the women). It doesn't have to be this way nowadays tho because we don't live in the wild that's why I responded "not necessarily".

We shall not be victims of our own instincts and if we know what moves our actions, we can choose how we act and organize our relationships and life.

Title	Leadership
Author	cabsmom2020
Upvotes	5
Comments	20
Date	September 10, 2021 2:09 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/plbv0m/leadership/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/leadership.1069504 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069504

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