My brother is falling deeper and deeper into Red Pill-type ideology, and I am getting exasperated trying to pull him out of it.

ActionSage · 2021-12-10T16:59:17+00:00

He... doesn't have experience and unfortunately he may never learn until he gets heartbroken. Have you asked him what he really wants? He probably doesn't even know the difference between looking for a gf or a causal partner. He doesn't realize the girls that wants he wants do exist, he just needs to put himself out their and find them. People that he has to try to manipulate to get interested are not for him. Improving yourself and your social life takes longer and a little more work but it's so much better

Firstdayinhell · 2021-12-11T00:17:11+00:00

Have you tried offering an alternative? I mean, yeah you said he needs to lose weight and be genuine and stuff but he's autistic. For autistic people social interaction, especially in a romantic way, can be super hard. And the red pill advice is specific. They tell him what to say and how to act. I'm autistic myself and I love scripts. I have scripts for all kind of social situations that I practiced. The red pill gives him that. Specific techniques and instructions. Your advice won't do that for him. Maybe be more specific. Instead of just giving vague advice like "be genuine", walk him through specific things he could say to the girls and how exactly he can start and maintain an interaction. Maybe he will try your advice if he actually knows what you mean

softnmushy · 2021-12-10T22:04:09+00:00

This is rough. Red Pill is really attractive to men on the spectrum who have very little romantic experience. It's like a set of instructions they can follow to make women give them what they want. What a reassuring thought it must be to "know" that you will be successful in romance if you just follow a certain set of rules.

I don't spend much time on youtube. But there must be some non-toxic romance advice on there, right? Maybe you could link him to that. Another option would be to have him talk to real life people for dating advice and how to treat women respectfully.

drphillovestoparty · 2021-12-10T18:12:13+00:00

Red pill ideology for the most part tells you to get your shit on order- go to the gym, get marketable skills and make good money, dress well, etc. Become "high value" which does work assuming your personality is fine.

Sounds like your bro is getting into "game" stuff to try and overcompensate for being a bit socially awkward or whatever. Best thing would be for him to loose weight and focus on himself and keep an eye out for a compatible gf. If he makes the attempt to get sex the focus of his life while being a socially clueless out of shape virgin, it won't end well.

How old is be? Maybe find some more productive utube channels for him to explore.

HGW86 · 2021-12-11T07:53:32+00:00

I can’t claim to be Mr. Casanova, having slept with 5 girls (although I have “fooled around” with twice that number and made out with 22), but I always treat women with respect and kindness and I don’t understand why he continues down this dark path.

From my personal experience chasing the red-pill dragon, I exactly know why.

The red-pill that your brother is addicted to KNOWS how to exploit the insecurities of men in his position and baits him with a solution. They baited him so hard that he's willing to pay money for a 12 hour audiobook in order to find that solution. And what's fucked up is it's probably the only resource he thinks he has right now to deal with his insecurities with women.

I believe the biggest reason you're not getting through to him is because the advice you are giving him is something he and just about every red-piller and every incel has heard a hundred thousand times before.

"Treat women like they're human beings with respect and kindness and they will like you" and every variation of it.

Like yeah, you're obviously correct that he should treat women with respect, but it's still REALLY bad advice for men in your brother's situation. The reason it's bad advice is because your brother probably knows from experience that just merely treating a woman with respect and kindness doesn't mean she's going to want anything to do with him romantically. It's doesn't directly address his problem, just kinda, handwaves it.

A LOT of guys end up addicted to the red and black pills because they tried treating a woman in their lives with respect and kindness and instead of hooking up and ended up feeling humiliated and emasculated. The red pill responds to that humiliation and emasculation by giving those men a scapegoat (usually liberals or feminists) and offers them a "solution".

If you can give your brother practical solutions that addresses his problem and that can potentially give him tangible results, I believe he'll likely gravitate towards that and he'll start to abandon the red pill. But you can't tell him how you get laid, you have to tell him how he's going to get laid.

Blunt advice about appearances is much better advice than vague lines about respecting women. The delusion the red pill gives your brother is that they are delivering harsh truths while cutting through the fluff. You need to be the deliverer of harsh truth while offering an actual solution.

You pointed out that he could lose some weight, so encourage him to exercise. Why not do it with him? working out is more fun with a partner! Also ask, is he showering/taking care of himself? Does he dress badly? How is his posture? what other things can he do to be more attractive?

Also see if there are ways to address some mental hang-ups of his. Some men have social anxiety and psychological hang-ups with women. There's also a lack of positive self-esteem, lack of confidence, crippling anxiety about talking with strangers, anxiety about being a virgin and not getting laid yet ( you probably shouldn't bring up your lay count when you're talking to him BTW! But I digress) or any other nagging insecurities should be honestly and empathetically addressed. These are specific things that can be worked on and ideas that could help.

I hope what I wrote was helpful and I hope you can pull your brother out of that rabbit hole.

vcreativ · 2021-12-12T21:48:20+00:00

hearing about this crap for 14 hours a day.

I can't blame you. It gets old very quickly. I doubt there's a lot you can do atm. You being of another mind clearly isn't enough for him to reevaluate his position, and I fear that's your answer.

Will persistence change anything? Have you not already persisted?

You stated your position, that's really all you can do. You cannot force reflection or understanding. Ultimately, be open if he wants to talk to you, don't resent him and maybe he'll come around.

Politely point out that he's wrong every once in a while. You don't have to fight him on it, just remind him on occasion.

sungod003 · 2021-12-11T03:17:39+00:00

Idk man. Seems tricky. For one. I got a really good video that he can watch

https://youtu.be/be_Ms3nVG10

Very very goid video. That highlights the very issue with mens dating tips and why men are so lost. In the video he talks about the good of the pua or mgtow or redpill and that it teaches men rules on how to operate socially. But their ideology is trash. So he doesnt come off as like a preachy feminist who says man bad. In fact he highlights this. He was like we know these are baf but no1 is giving an alternative. So he gave an alternative. He has podcasts in which he talks to other men. All around good guy. Good video. Its just a tad bit long.

I could also reccimend he goes to r/menslib as they help talk about mens issues.

As for me. And for what you should say and tell him. Tell him ehy does he want a girlfriend. Cause from what i know about many dudes and as the video highlights many men dont reallt want sex. Its what sex represents. Validation and man points. We know that we arent born men and that you have to prove it as masculinity isnt inherent. And one way to be a man is to bone and fuck lots of girls. So heres wht he needs to do.

He needs to work on himself and find validation internally. Like you said. Lose weight. Get buff and shave the pubes off his face. Get a cut. Trust me. Most dudes are one cut away to looking like Chadwick Boseman or chris evans. Find a good style. I go for like Henley, doc marten boots, thursay boots, bomber jacket. Get some Jewlery like rings and gold chain. Make it s shopping adventure. Dont come off preachy. But he needs to work on himself. This will boost his perception. Of himself. And it will attract womrn.
Start to make female friends. This is a big one.I have women friends and was raised by womrn. I can read women like a book and empathize with them. He needs to be comfortable around women. And understand them at a social level. We are gender segregated. Women friends will help him because they are cool ppl and add to life and he is less threatening and a weirdo in the eyes of women. This will make it easier to talk to snd then flirt with and then date.
Therapy. Hes probably in high school. Urge him tk go to therapy so he has someone to vent to. And therapists actually give you perspective on how to handle social issues and work through emotions.
Get him into clubs. I know that when i was in high school once i had a goal. And friends and people who got me. Dating was less of a huge deal.

honestly while showing his true intentions,

You probably mean well but lol. Women who are looking to hook up are not easy to find and probably barely exist. Women dont show their cards. They play little tricks and hints. I lost a many due to womens sheet ineptitude to just be blunt. As men you still gotta play the game and try hard if ur gonna get laid. We can be buddy buddy with women all we want but its no guarantee you will find hookups. Being friends with women will give you the tools to read womens bullshit and get away from the little hints and tricks women play. Im not even lying. They are never blunt with intentions. You need to have a good social reading anf rapport to get laid. Thats what flirting is and building connnection does. Anf you can only do that if ur friends with women and understand them at a social level. That builds empathy and solidarity and social skills around women. Which makes it easy to find the ones who want sex. I just wanted to highlight that. If you say im looking to hookup bluntly your shooting yourself in the foot. You gotta build connection. And read women. No1 shows their cards.

xbowxpert · 2021-12-17T05:15:56+00:00

We often need to learn the wrong way before we learn the right way. Let him learn the techniques. Aggressively order him to not deceive, do no harm, and stay away from wives and girlfriends.

He needs to choose his path even if it is muddy.

mrpokergenius · 2021-12-10T18:36:08+00:00

Everything this guy says. LOL.

ronnie954 · 2021-12-11T05:16:13+00:00

The funny part is there’s so many men that wish they had no wife or girlfriend . Especially once you have kids and they start to become bitchy and toxic. Shit becomes a trap . Otherwise it’s best to just make sure you ask questions to get to know them . If you stay true to yourself the right one will fall . But you have to go out the house

Title	My brother is falling deeper and deeper into Red Pill-type ideology, and I am getting exasperated trying to pull him out of it.
Author	apost54
Upvotes	26
Comments	19
Date	December 10, 2021 3:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/rdbbix/my_brother_is_falling_deeper_and_deeper_into_red/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/my-brother-is-falling-deeper-and-deeper-into-red.1087609 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087609

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