Posting on a throwaway

RedPillDetox · 2023-06-27T22:02:04+00:00

How do you know other people are vastly experienced? Are most people you know irl disclosing to you their experiences? My guess is a firm "no", because most people don't go around revealing their private matters, so from a purely rational and logical perspective you're just assuming other people are vastly more experienced.

xweert123 · 2023-06-28T04:01:34+00:00

Saying that most people are experienced in hookup culture or that it is a thing is just not true, that's a Redpill Conspiracy so that they can trick you into buying into their cult.

On that note, I'm only 23 and haven't met many hookup artists at all. Even then, the most successful ones tend to have to do thousands of attempts before making a successful hookup. It just isn't worth it. There's far more to life than getting your dick wet and there's genuinely no point in worrying about it, because I can guarantee you that having sex with lots of women won't make you happy.

You're feeling envious of people with shallow lives and existences, and you can be better than that. Does spending your life chasing women and going from girl to girl, never forming genuine relationships and instead just being a shallow sleazeball who never does anything with their life really sound like a good way to live, to you?

emfanthrowaway12 · 2023-06-28T08:42:27+00:00

Ask yourself if thats really something you want deep down, because to me it seems like theres some kind of an expectation and pressure on you. Hooking up can sound fun but at the end of the day (and that is my personal opinion, yall can do whatever you want but thats how I personally view things) youre having meaningless sex with women who are most likely only interested in casual hookups and having fun, and you're risking catching feelings for such person, which likely isnt going to be a good partner or isnt at a stage if their lives where theyre mature enough to do so. Of course not everyone has to want to be in a relationship and youre allowed to have fun, but rather ask yourself wether youre not being pressured to have shallow hookups, because to me personally there is nothing better than sharing a very intimate moment with someone you love and trust and know they love you too. As fun as it may seem, trying to fit in into hookup culture can drain you.

ashaw7 · 2023-06-28T09:01:14+00:00

I'm not sure what you meam by sub-par. Most guys in their twenties have very little experience at all. You need to tell us your motives. Do you want to date and hook up with dozens of women, or are you looking for a long term relationship? I would say to mainly stay focused on your interests that you have control over. If you won't be satisfied unless women are falling down over you, you won't be satisfied, and that will put women off.

SuperbWaffle · 2023-06-28T17:27:39+00:00

Hi, I'm a woman here, and first, good for you to be vulnerable and honest. You want to do better and are asking for help, and I think that's great ❤️ Please never lose that, empathetic honesty is something women love in men.

Struggling with body dysmorphia, I want to ask that you please be kind to yourself. I do understand that there is a science to symmetrical faces and body ratios in regards to being attractive. In statistical terms, being some standard deviations away from the mean is not the same as 'sub par': 'sub par' connotes that you are less than, and you're not. You're a person. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Something that helps me sometimes is looking at beautiful celebrities who got plastic surgery, or got caught photoshopping themselves: what this reminds me of is that even the most beautiful people feel insecure as well, and so to not be hard on myself, because what does that even accomplish?

As someone who has had several terrible (and abusive relationships), someone being in a relationship doesn't always mean they're better off. I definitely have had times where after breaking up, I just felt relief being single. From what I understand about Red Pill (I'm still learning), they ~~stuff down your throat~~ heavily push basing your value as a person on external factors. There's a great theory, that's been well-tested, about human motivation in relation to psychological needs: the short version is that when we place our sense of worth on external things (such as wealth, popularity, attractiveness, etc.), your sense of self-worth will fluctuate in tandem with those external factors. Now that's not to say that being poor or socially excluded aren't painful in and of themselves--they are, because lack means deprived needs, physical and psychological, which lowers the quality of life. But if your sense of worth is based on external factors, you will be stuck in a loop always trying to make sure those external factors are in good standing, and that's just not something we can control, not totally.

As someone who has struggled with really low self worth (went through a lot of abuse growing up), what helped me to feel more value in myself is thinking about what I value in others: passion, curiosity, honesty, courage, vulnerability, etc., and so in turn, I strived for those traits in myself, because then I can't help but trucking myself into valuing myself more, because I have traits that I value. 😉

Please, by all means, feel welcome to ask questions/share. You've made a great start by opening up, and I'm rooting for you to keep going! 😊

Raging_Dragon_9999 · 2023-06-27T23:58:10+00:00

You have to replace the habit of reading RP shit with something else.

Look, some of the basic advice still works: Excercise Bathe and use deodorant Shave Wear clean clothes

The problem is that you need to work on your confidence and seld esteem. These things only increase through going out in the real world and doing things.

Get off your phone, pc, go full detox... find some new outside or out of the house hobbies and go be in the real world. Join some student clubs with girls. Go ballroom dancing.

Just frigging BE and DO.

veladem · 2023-06-27T23:58:09+00:00

I think your journey starts with expelling fornication from your thoughts. If you want to meet a great woman, or man, or etc. start within yourself and build from there.

Worrying about sex/hookups is just too much hassle, and there are so many more fulfilling things in life beyond the monetary, the material, and debauchery.

goodforpartsonly · 2023-06-28T10:41:44+00:00

Bro at 20 years old you've got a lot of stuff to work on. Don't worry about women, they'll come to you. Hooking up with women outside a relationship is bad. When you finally meet good woman in the future, she'll be happy that you don't have a high notch count.

Mean_Mechanic9889 · 2023-06-28T15:45:49+00:00

You don't need to accept that fact. Redpill's messed you up. Can I tell you the secret to this?

It's being happy and comfertable with yourself and the world. The more people you just enjoy talking to, the more relationships develop.

Redpill pushes a world view that makes people scared, bitter, woman hating and self conscious. Then sells manipulation tactics that work on a small group of women, who you don't really want long term, or at all being frank. While nice, happy woman will avoid you because you're lacking the former piont. Which perpetuates the redpill narrative

Go for a nice walk outside. Find some enjoyment in life, the rest will follow.

I'm a girl. I'm sending love and know when you love yourself and women in general. Things will change.

Bye for now sweetie x

cowbunnyjumper · 2023-06-28T19:35:09+00:00

I actually practice “game” and I can tell you hookup culture is kinda a mith. It’s very hard to get a woman interested and you have to put in work to close the deal. And even at that women aren’t stupid, they know your chasing tail. I have met women that sleep around like it’s nothing but that not as much as people think.

Even the “chads” have to put in work or they get low value women or they just keep asking every woman out and to sleep with them until one says yes. It’s not like how the red pill describe it were chads get access to all the women without any work and average joes can’t get any.

Don’t get me wrong hook up “culture” is a thing but it is grossly over exaggerated by the media and red pill. Let me ask. What women are you looking at to get with and where? If you looking at skantaly dressed ones at clubs then yeah they probably are but most women, at least where I live, don’t dress that slutty nor that conservative, they just dress like normal people.

If I’m being honest I’ve noticed more women today now than ever don’t have time to cook dinner for themselves at home when they get off work, much less hook up.

Mind you this is 1st hand experience with women. This is why I never fully subscribed to red pill because most of the audience and even the content creators have 0 experience with women or only been and seen bad relationship examples. On top of that they love shoutout example after example of bad behavior from women yet no good or normal day to day behavior. They won’t even show bad behavior from men. Also I’ve noticed most of the bad behavior they show are in places where of course that will happen. As a closing I’ve noticed alote of the examples are in places and situations where of course there’s gonna be bad behavior. Example: going to Vegas to see how many women will cheat. Well no shit it’s gonna be a place where bad women and men go cheat(or waste money). Hence the name sin city. But did they show you any that said no or didn’t act slutty? No. My point in closing is dont buy red pulls narrative. Get 1st hand experience. Also ever notice every red pill cope about women only makes men more bitter to women yet they champion not hating women just understanding their “female nature”?

Repemptionhappens · 2023-07-05T07:27:22+00:00

Adam Lane Smith is amazing and gives tons of free dating and relationship advice on his YouTube channel.

Title	Posting on a throwaway
Author	CharmingEffective86
Upvotes	6
Comments	19
Date	June 27, 2023 9:54 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/14kqskw/posting_on_a_throwaway/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/posting-on-a-throwaway.1223608 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223608

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