sad about never having a girlfriend

17gorchel · 2021-10-18T00:08:13+00:00

Stop focusing on getting a girlfriend if it isn't working. There is more to life than just sex and romance. Find something you love to do or focus all that energy on school and hobbies. Go outside, try new things. Challenge yourself. I say this because I went through a similar problem. But the joy of hiking up a trail, or learning to ice skate, or play a new instrument, helped me realize there are many different sources of happiness.

letsdosomethingcrazy · 2021-10-18T04:15:56+00:00

People can tell when you want something from them. People don't like it when the only reason you're talking to them is because you want something from them. It is possible to try to hard, to focus too hard on finding love or sex and it comes off as needy.

You also have no idea what having a girlfriend is actually like, and holding preconceived notions of what you expect it to be like are going to ruin it, too.

There's a leap of faith involved. First you need to let go. You need to stop trying. You need to meet people, men and women, with an open, blank slate of expectations. Meet people, figure out what kind of people you like, do things with them. Get interests that you enjoy, do them for you. Meet people with those interests, make friends, do stuff. Eventually in the course of your adventures you'll discover two truths:

1 - You aren't going to like everyone, not everyone is going to like you. The people you like might not like you, and the people who like you, you might not like you. That's okay. It's not about them, it's about you, living your life.

2 - Bonding with people, and that includes potential partners, takes patience, effort, and a whole lot of luck. There's also a sweet spot of aloofness that you need to keep, because as soon as you start pushing too hard, it gets weird and you can push people away.

Just practice caring about people, practice caring about yourself, practice kindness, practice patience, practice talking to people from a place of genuine curiosity and be prepared to walk away with nothing and still find value in the experience.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2021-10-17T23:51:46+00:00

How old are you?

tiposk · 2021-10-18T17:36:58+00:00

Do you really want a girlfriend or the just the validation that comes with having one? Is it possible that you're self-sabotaging to avoid getting hurt or to punish yourself for whatever reason?

All the above sounds counterintuitive but it's usually what's behind the pattern of failed relationships or attempts.

TheChadofChad · 2021-10-18T18:45:52+00:00

Your past must be addressed and dealt with. I checked your past posts. It appears that you have unresolved issues that require professional guidance. Due to the fact that you don't know how to love yourself, you expect too much from others. It is likely that you are giving too much of yourself to others.

How can you expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself?

Wrong_Signal · 2021-10-18T19:21:12+00:00

Thank you everyone for the much-needed advice and perspective. I have a lot to self-reflect on. Thank you.

RedPillDetox · 2021-10-18T08:15:06+00:00

How old are you and what have you specifically done to get a girlfriend?

drphillovestoparty · 2021-10-20T02:39:28+00:00

How old are you?

South-Law-6211 · 2021-10-20T04:44:52+00:00

im in the same problem, in the past i have had chances to make a romantic relation but i have lost at all, i think the secret is know people as much you can, both men and women, and when i open your eyes you could find a chance to have a romantic relationship, but please dont make that the center of your life, be alone could be terrible when you dont have any friend, or any people to talk, but you have to go outside and dare to know people.

whydoesthishapp3n · 2021-10-24T00:25:54+00:00

when you eventually get a girlfriend you’ll find you will not be complete. the relationship will not fill that void in you. everything will not fall into place. a relationship adds to your life but life isn’t like a book or a rom com or TV show. a relationship is (ideally) like having a really great best friend. it won’t solve everything but it’ll make stuff better. but if your life sucked before having them, it’ll still suck in some ways. so focus on finding a way to love yourself, or for starters, at least like yourself. because if you don’t love yourself, why should anyone else?

Title	sad about never having a girlfriend
Author	Wrong_Signal
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	October 17, 2021 10:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/qa9m6p/sad_about_never_having_a_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/sad-about-never-having-a-girlfriend.1078934 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078934

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