First, I want to clarify that I do not believe in all the claims of the red pill, nor do I believe 100% in a single "representative" of the red pill "philosophy", in fact I hate when they use it to perpetuate gender stereotypes, promoting that only the traditional dynamic should exist.

As a heterosexual man with “ feminine” traits in my personality, I tried to adopt the masculinity advice promoted by what I later discovered as the "red pill" (at that time, I wasn't even aware of this term). However, I eventually grew weary of it. Unfortunately, I found myself facing the same ridiculization from the opposite extreme, where heterosexual men still cannot be valued for being vulnerable or sensitive and are often humiliated and another group holds me accountable for this "negative perspective."

In seeking to distance myself from red pill ideology, I find that this subreddit (exredpill) often complicates this process. Instead of being a supportive space for those trying to disengage from those ideals, it seems to focus more on disparaging "red pillers" and "incels." Essentially, it adds fuel to the fire by mocking men who encounter difficulties in their relationships, labeling them as "losers" and blaming them for their own issues without compassion (which is what the red pill thrives on).

For instance, here, there's an attempt to demonize and criticize men's preferences. I understand why you might challenge  a man's preference for women with little sexual experience, but there are two issues with this:

While the red pill argument is to only date virgin women, in practice, most men have no issue with a woman's sexual experience, so once again, the focus is narrowed onto a specific group.

Women's preferences are rarely questioned, even though they also perpetuate gender stereotypes (in my opinion). You may not agree with me, but the point is there's a double standard.

And I know you'll likely say these issues are just my perspective, circling back to invalidating the person rather than questioning the issue itself.

The double standard is that if I complain about sexist men, you'll probably agree and not question my perspective.

In essence, it's often believed that all the problematic aspects lie on the other extreme, and there's an attempt to isolate and justify bad behaviors from that side.

I'll give you another example. It's really challenging to break away from the red pill when every time women are asked about their preferences, they often repeat traditional male stereotypes, despite being very modern themselves.

And then I come to groups like these, where I'm told "it's all in your perspective," "you hate women," "date women without wanting to sleep with them”, where you're invalidated and attacked as a person because assuming that someone holds this perspective because they don't date or try new things is a form of ad hominem.

Every time a toxic behavior from the feminist or women's side is commented upon, it's all about a world where everyone is different and has different preferences.

But this understanding disappears when someone comes and comments about why they still trust in a red pill belief. Here, it's assumed their life mirrors the previous OP, it's assumed we are all the same misogynist, narrowed minded, incel,

I had hoped that this group would acknowledge that both extremes need to work on themselves—both red pillers and feminists, men and women, and everything in between.

My point is that sexism towards heterosexual men is so accepted that you don't even notice it and many times it is promoted by the same group that call themselves "feminists" or "exredpiller", and when someone comments on it, "it's just your perspective".

(please avoid classifying me as a sexist or red piller because of my vocabulary, my first language is not English, and I am not aware of the perception of some of my words.)