I realized recently that I used to cry in a healthy way, and I lost that when I dated two red pill guys.

They taught me to see crying as weakness, and women as weak for it. We all know how red pill views this kind of stuff so I’ll cut to the chase.

Losing the ability to cry and communicate my feelings with these people cost me my respect for them, and my attraction to them. What they saw as being “submissive” was actually me taking on the role of having to adult on their behalf because I saw them as incompetent and unable to handle life. For the second guy, I felt like his mom. I had to clean up after him, listen to him gossip about his work, friends, family, colleagues, dreams, etc, while saying nothing about myself. I had to cater to him when he felt a little sick like he had a tickle in his throat or a headache. It was a lot like having a child. It completely killed my sex drive, and I thought that it was my fault, because everything was. He wasn’t able to take responsibility, apologize, recognize mistakes, or learn from his actions. Like a kid, he couldn’t process those things because he never stopped to process his emotions.

Both men tried to make me out to be illogical, not for the validity of my arguments, but for my feelings, which they also used as evidence to say my sex is weak and submissive. So after I learned to stop talking, I would just silently sit there thinking “wow, this guy has no idea how dumb he is. Lol.”

My attitude toward them in my head really became incredibly condescending, and what shocked me the most is that in my second relationship, I actually started lying. This is very unlike me - I’m known to be honest to a fault. I’ve been criticized for it more times than I can count.

Anyways, I went from crying in private several times a day in the second relationship, to leaving it, and not being able to cry at all. Or else, when I did cry, it was weird and I would try hard to find ways to distract myself and not think about it.

It almost cost me my business. At a certain point, I felt so exhausted and apathetic I could barely get myself to do anything. I turned to nutrition, mind/body challenges like cold water swimming and meditation, and science for answers. That would briefly give me what looked like success, but the underlying problems were insidious and they snowballed without me realizing it, because, of course, I wasn’t processing it.

Those problems grew until they became so big on the background that they interfered with my confidence and my ability to keep improving.

After these relationships, my ability to cry broke. When I did cry, the crying wasn’t healthy. It was desperation crying. Most of the time I felt apathetic and dead inside, like I would never cry again. I started backsliding and forming addictive habits by way of emotional coping. Then I realized I was becoming my ex.

The real breakthrough came when my dog died, and I could only cry in short uncontrolled bursts, before feeling dead and listless…and I started feeling physically afraid of things that invoked those feelings. Then I started having nightmares.

Finally, I confided in a friend, and she helped train me on how to process my emotions. After a couple of “sessions” with her, I suddenly felt liberated like I hadn’t felt in a year or more. I felt energetic, empowered, confident, and ambitious for the first time in a long time.

Looking back on my life, I realized I used to let myself cry in private without self-humiliation. Even though I learned early not to communicate my feelings, I at least would set aside private time to indulge in a “good cry” when I recognized that I needed to.

After those crying sessions, I usually felt a lot better. Those things became things I get strong about after the fact, because I had gotten my crying over with. That enabled me to consistently be the best student in my classes and achieve the recognition of our dean. It got me far in life, and it’s something I only started losing when red pill came into my life.

Not crying doesn’t make you strong. Nor does thinking that crying is weak. Strong people cry, and become stronger for it because they don’t internalize shame for crying. When you don’t cry, you don’t get over it. Your problems build on one another until they make you fragile from the inside out.

This is one of the most insidious things red pill has done to humanity.