A Theory Regarding Male Empathy

penelopekitty · 2020-02-04T19:05:41+00:00

What you are describing is called performative empathy. It's basically what sociopaths and narcissists do. They know when it is advantageous or expedient for them to appear empathetic and can act as is they are for a certain length of time or under certain circumstances. However, true empathy is not dependent on self interest or personal life experience. It is a real ability to see and feel the pain of others, relate and respond in a caring manner. It requires a functioning pre-frontal cortex and mirror neurons. Many men destroy these parts of their brain with porn and video game use. Many were simply born with the deficiency. You can prove this with brain scans that show which parts of the brain become active in different circumstances. Male empathy is basically an oxymoron. Most don't have it.

nnns · 2020-02-04T19:22:56+00:00

I think the majority of men never really developed the skill of empathy, so it’s easy for them to relate to something directly applicable to them, but difficult to extrapolate that further.

I genuinely believe they are capable, but they usually don’t need to be. They are often rewarded for ignoring emotions entirely and operating “logically”

The more I learn the more I realize how large of a system the patriarchy really is.

nightskywalking · 2020-02-04T19:30:55+00:00

False. My ex was abused when he was a kid and he was, one of the worst males I have ever met. Trauma makes men more cold from my experience.

Saitschik · 2020-02-04T20:15:59+00:00

I think most men possess a certain level of empathy, some higher others lower. But the thing is even if men understand how you feel on a emotional level their selfish interest usually still win over it.

And yeah, men relate and react stronger if they can identify themselves with another person. Women too but like nearly everything with men it seems more extreme.

Many men feel a lot of empathy for other men "falsely" accused of rape for example but none for the women who have been abused by Harvey Weinstein...

2020-02-04T20:55:06+00:00

We know that there are strong social factors that shape how empathetic we are or how we perceive ourselves to be empathetic traditionally, society has higher expectations of female children to be understanding of others' feelings. However, non-genetic biological factors could also play a role.

Biologically, there are differences between men and women - things like hormones and hormone levels. It could be possible that some of these hormones that are present in greater levels in women can drive some of the higher empathetic scores.

Oxytocin, which is found in higher levels in women, can make people more empathetic, while testosterone, present in higher concentrations in men, could do the opposite.

ReignRain95 · 2020-02-04T21:15:22+00:00

i believe they just cant see anything from a womans POV. they have no idea what its like to face sexism or oppression or really anything else women typically go through stuff like pregnancy or rape or sexual harassment ect.

MyGilleyCat · 2020-02-04T19:24:00+00:00

I agree that men are capable of empathy. Male children display it the same was female children do. I think just as women are socialized to a certain set of behaviours so are men, and one of those behaviors (or set of behaviours) is a belief that men are superior to women, that men are more honest then women, that men work harder then women do. Men display love and affection and empathy for other men all the time (albeit in socially acceptable ways) by looking out for men, defending men, believe men. Men dont lack empathy it is metaphorically and literally often, beaten out of them, and then they side with their abusers and continue to cycle.

Edit: it is beaten out of them in terms of their ability to feel it for women. They are hyper aware of it for men.

PruneTracy957 · 2020-02-04T22:36:08+00:00

This makes me think of the old "what if it happened to your sister/mom/daughter?" As if a woman has to be defined in relation to a man to matter.

PrettyCicada · 2020-02-04T19:35:11+00:00

Imo men are born with the capacity for empathy and higher reasoning but lose it as they age. As men go through Puberty their testosterone overpowers their empathy and higher reasoning ability and turns them into dopamine addicted animalistic junkies. That's why many younger boys are perfectly capable of showing genuine empathy but turn into borderline sociopaths as they reach maturity. From a biological standpoint female is the default and men are women who were mutated in the womb so effectively the influence of testosterone and male hormones is a form of external mutation that alters both physiology and brain chemistry in many different ways so it makes perfect sense that as boys age and puberty takes hold they would lose access to certain higher functions that they once shared in common with women.

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-02-05T06:40:50+00:00

Men can feel empathy. They would all have very serious personality disorders if they could not. Some men and women do truly lack empathy. They are clinically disordered and sometimes very dangerous. Theese are the people who abuse others to the brink of suicide while feeling pleased about it, and murder people with a smile on. Empathy is a big deal and not gender defined. A man can have the cognitive tools to empathize, as healthy minded people do, and still be an asshole. Being selfish and bad at communicating does not mean they lack the basic human ability to bond emotionally with others, feel a need to protect those they love ect. Men will like, cry when thier gold fish dies. However, they seem to conveniently lack empathy when it's regarding a double standard for women. For example, they judge women for having a sexual history as potentially disloyal or impure while thier sexual history is simply part of who they are with no meanings attached, maybe even a bragging right. The reason this is so upsetting is because many if them DO have empathy but due to a number things erroneously believe "its different though, shes a girl " I have had "its different though you're a girl" thrown in my face by a past boyfriend. This isnt due to a lack of empathy, this is due to him being a prick and wanting to be able to uphold the double standards society is telling him are fine to uphold. As long as they are not a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath ect. they have the functional TOOLS to feel empathy and should be held to the same standards as anyone else.

Lakersrock111 · 2020-02-05T13:19:58+00:00

Oh they certainly can, it’s amazing how so many choose not to!

Bennettist · 2020-02-05T13:52:32+00:00

Men have sympathy-the ability to feel sad for things that they themselves have experienced. Empathy is caring about and giving time to something you have not experienced. Men do not have empathy.

99natas · 2020-02-04T23:08:05+00:00

Men are generally trained from early childhood to suppress their emotions.

This includes empathy.

Men in my experience are just not that emotive not comfortable feeling strong feelings. They’ll joke and divert.

Male empathy looks like “They just show up for you” no big deal, no talking, but they clear their schedule when you need them without making a big deal of it.

It’s not magic, it’s work, they didn’t just show up and attend you putting your dog down because they had nothing better to do.

Sure they’re not going to cry, but they suit up and show up.

jewdy09 · 2020-02-04T20:05:39+00:00

I think men just think radically different from women, so their empathy looks different. Or maybe a better way to imagine it would be to suggest than a woman’s empathy is amplified where a man’s is muted.

Title	A Theory Regarding Male Empathy
Author	FDSthrowaway1991
Upvotes	62
Comments	29
Date	February 4, 2020 6:55 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eyuyc1/a_theory_regarding_male_empathy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-theory-regarding-male-empathy.694122 https://theredarchive.com/post/694122

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