So it's that time of year, and I know a lot of us here want to do good deeds and continue to level up by being good, charitable people.

I just wanted to warn people about the Reddit Secret Santa exchange. I did this last year for the first time, and in hindsight, it really brought put the worst of the PickMe in myself. The mods of the exchange like to lie to everyone and say that it's rare that people get scammed, but it's pretty damn common. Both my first Santa and my rematch did not send me anything. My rematch didn't even pull my info.

I found myself going above and beyond for my giftees. I have always genuinely prided myself in giving thoughtful gifts that people will actually use and want, or at least think are cool. And I wanted to make these complete strangers happy. Luckily, both my giftees were women, and they were beyond grateful and happy when they received my gifts. But being this eager to please my own giftees only really set myself up for failure...

When you inevitably face the disappointment at being scammed... I just wanted to warn the women on this subreddit since a large number of us have been through traumatic and abusive relationships of some type that have battered our self-worth and esteem... Just make sure you're up for it, mentally. Because having been scammed not once, but twice, in such short succession, and then being brushed callously aside like, "Oh well, tough shit! You just need to keep trying!" by the unempathetic mods who run the exchange (and who refuse to make more rules to prevent scammers from continuing to scam more people), it really brought back those horrible feelings of unworthiness and rock-bottom I felt when being abused, and during basically the one month of the year one should be hopeful for humanity.

So if you're still in the process of leveling up, or just don't want to risk dealing with any bullshit during an already-stressful time of the year, donate to your local foodbank or a local legit charity instead of doing the Reddit Secret Santa. It's not worth anyone's time or money, male or female, in my humble opinion. But if you have the time and resources and don't care about getting shafted (because there is a high probability you will, either by receiving nothing or something worthless), then just sign up to be a rematch and not for the main exchange. At least the rematch means someone who got scammed from the main exchange gets a second chance, and you are truly doing a selfless deed.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.