I am not a mean person, truly, i know it weird to say this in writing but i’m really not a nasty, awful person that picks on people for no good reason, neither am i condescending or patronising. I’ve always been confident, nice enough to make plenty of friends, i get along with people in general, rarely do i have major problems or fights with others. Yet, since i’ve started at my new job, i’ve been made fun of and picked on more than my entire high school life. I don’t know what i did wrong but for some reasons, my coworkers enjoy poking fun at me for no reason. I tried laughing it off when it was just one guy but others joined in and i couldn’t take it anymore. So one day, i just snapped.

There’s this ongoing joke that i don’t work hard at work because when I first started, meaning my first week, i didn’t pull my weight enough. Obviously by my third week i was in full swing but the guys I work with, because there’s only two other girls that work at my place and I don’t see them that often since their work hours are different, still joke around about it. Highly exaggerated of course, they act like I fucking stood in a corner and stared into space for ten hours. I did my job of course. I could handle the jokes, even if they made me feel like shit, I didn’t want to be that person that can’t handle a joke at their expense every now and again. I would joke back or laugh it off. That was until one brand new coworker, who honestly was just a compete dickhead to begin with fuck I hate him so bad, that had just started a few days ago began joining in with the jokes and that’s when i just got so sick in my stomach. It was after most of the customers left and the place was pretty quiet, we were standing around, talking and then the conversation stirred toward me. One of our regular customers, who we all hate, said he applied to start working at our store and when he left the guys were laughing about it, talking about how he’d never get hired and then one worker said “can you imagine working with him? He wouldn’t do shit. He’d make *** look good”.

I just so sick y’all, I was almost finishing a eleven hour shift, no lunch, forgot to go on my break and the guy who made the joke was a new part timer who just clocked in. I blew up on them, when they finished laughing because gosh it was so funny eh? I asked them what the fuck was their problems, how they were all dickheads and told them all to go fuck themselves. I also told them I’d go to the manager and let him know how I felt about the way I was being treated by them (everyone is terrified of our manger). They were so shocked it was insane, did they really have no idea I didn’t like the jokes?

Idk, maybe it was because they were all men, older than me (I’m 18) and i just felt so tired of being ridiculed and patronised but i couldn’t handle it anymore, not when i had some guy who JUST started cracking hurtful jokes. It’s like he saw the way they treated me, constantly being demeaning and thought— aah this is my calling, lemme join in real quick.

Now at work, we do not converse, don’t talk unless necessary and we are very civil with each other. I have four other male coworkers (for some reason the girls i work with are never this way with me, we get along so well) and they act like i’m some hysterical monster that’s going to erupt if they say good morning. I was just so sick of being picked on and made fun of and being the one that everyone is laughing at, it didn’t feel good. Like i would be wiping down a table and one of them would walk past and say, “wow! i didn’t know ** could clean” “finally ** is doing some work around here” like i haven’t been doing a overtime hour shift for the last three days. It got to them calling me stupid when i’d ask them a question about anything tbh, or an idiot. I hated the way new coworkers were joining in, i just wanted to be friends with them, i wanted to just get along and be a team. I know i screwed it up, but they knew i didn’t like those jokes, i never laughed at them. i told them it felt hurtful, now i’m not a good team player? now i’m excluded for conversations and feel like an outsider? why? because i just wanted to be treated well and with a little respect? Im glad the jokes have stopped and they barley meet my eye. it’s better than whatever the fuck was going on before. i was dreading going to work every morning, i would just sob on the bus ride home. i don’t anymore and I’m content with that. Sure work would be so much more fun if we got along with one another but I truly don’t care if they think I was being sensitive or emotional about it. I knew it was bad when my supervisor (who is also a woman) asked me one day why I let them talk to me like that. Just constant constant demeaning things, all the god damn time like just be nice please, I’m begging you, just be kind. If I had to scream at them till they thought me unhinged, then so be it. At least now they don’t dare to crack even the smallest of jokes around me, even if I just want to joke around a little and chat with them. Oh well, I’d rather feel bored at work than I’m the verge of tears everyday.