The pandemic has given me a great amount of time to actually deal with trauma and I'm so angry at myself for putting up with a pickme mom and a scrote father. What a combination. Growing up I would be subjected to constant complaints from my mom about how a woman should be, how a lady should act, etc, whilst constantly comparing me to other girls and how 'I should be like them'. When I tell her that I have a personality and I have my own special traits she would say 'They're useless' or 'They're not important'. Now I realized she was jealous of other women and coveted their lives, which was why she would constantly put me down and compare me to other daughters. My dad was never at home, always at work and guess what, cheating! He also treated other daughters better than me. We rarely go out to save money but when we do, e.g. movies, he would treat everyone popcorn but when it was only me, no popcorn! Clothes he bought were also always a size too small and no presents of any kind. They would also play this dumb game where they would say 'Do you want to go to a private school?' then say things like we don't have enough money or I didn't get a good enough scholarship etc. Now I realized that they were just cheap ass fucks and would make a child make all the decisions and caretaking. Also, when I was being bullied or sexually harassed, they either watched, didn't do anything about it or said that it was my fault and I must have done something to make them hurt me. WTF? On top of that, I was also told to be 'nice' to people, let people have their way. Then why do I even exist? And the funny thing was, everyone who had healthy familial relationships were worried about me because I developed anorexia and I started looking like a ghost. I lost a decade of my life trying to heal myself and get on with my life. Having a circle of pick me friends and scrotes didn't help with the healing either, most times worsened the trauma. FDS has really helped in terms of labelling how I felt, what I was experiencing and describing people. I am so done. I hope I can get out and not meet them ever again.